Hellobee

It’s been a crazy weekend for me with food poisoning, a court date, the biggest fire in El Nido for which I’ve organized a huge donation drive, and the friend staying with me for the past month going into labor. I got to experience what giving birth is like in the Philippines, and let me say it is very different from what it’s like in America! I’ll be back tomorrow with a birth story post, but in the meantime I thought I’d share Charlie’s birth story from 9 years ago. It was a very real and unedited account I wrote of how I felt immediately afterwards.

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I thought I was prepared for labor. I talked to recent mom friends about their experiences, read tons of real labor stories online, read books on giving birth, took a childbirth preparation class, and had a doula. I was ready for the pain and the post labor recovery. I had a plan. But I never, ever prepared myself for the possibility of getting a c section. Here is my labor story…

December 7th, 3 days before my due date.

I thought I might go into labor because I just felt really weird.  I couldn’t sleep, the baby was super active, I had stomach cramps, and I had diarrhea — a potential sign of impending labor — when I’d been terribly constipated the entire pregnancy.  But the next day I felt perfectly fine.

December 9th, 4:12pm, 1 day before my due date.

I woke up from a nap at 4:12pm because my stomach really hurt.  I sat on the toilet but nothing came out, so I went back to sleep.  I woke up an hour later because my stomach started hurting again, but then I thought that it might be a contraction so I timed it — it lasted about a minute and 15 seconds.  I got up to go to the bathroom again and as I was walking there, some pink tinged fluid leaked out.  I was very calm because I wasn’t sure if I was actually going into labor or not.  I called my doula and she said I could be going into labor, or I could just be passing my mucous plug soon, which can happen weeks before you actually go into labor.

5:30pm

I started having what felt like contractions every 20 minutes or so — they were similar to period cramps, but not as strong as the one that woke me up from my nap.  A fair amount of pink tinged fluid leaked out again when I stood up, like I peed my pants.  Luckily I had put a pad on when I leaked fluid during my last trip to the bathroom.  I took a poo at 5:30 and leaked more water as I walked to the bathroom. Supposedly women often poo before they go into labor. I’m just thinking that I won’t poo during labor anymore.

6:00 – 8:00pm – Contractions intensify and come regularly

By 6:00pm, the contractions seemed to be getting more regular.  I timed the contractions —  6:12, 6:17, 6:24, 6:30, 6:38, 6:43, 6:50.  They were coming about every 5-8 minutes and lasting a minute.  I didn’t want to head to the hospital too early, otherwise they’d just send us home, so I decided to wait it out for the next hour to see if the pattern continued and the contractions intensified.  I continued to time my contractions: 6:56, 7:02, 7:09, 7:13, 7:17, 7:23, 7:28, 7:34, 7:40, 7:45, 7:51, 7:55.  I wasn’t sure how exact the 5 minute rule was since my contractions were 4-7 minutes apart.  They weren’t that painful yet, but they seemed pretty regular to me off the bat.

Friends have told me that they took a shower, packed their bags and took their time getting to the hospital once their contractions started. My contractions were painful enough that I didn’t feel like I could move around and do stuff. I had to pause and not talk whenever they started.

8:00pm – Leaving for the hospital.

Most doctors tell you to come into the hospital when your contractions are 5-1-1 (5 minutes apart, lasting 1 minute each, for 1 hour), or when your water breaks. Since my water started leaking with the contractions, the on call doctor told me to come in, especially because the labor and delivery ward was extremely busy.  From the time I thought I experienced my first contraction at 4:12pm to the time the doctor called me back, exactly 4 hours had lapsed.

I had my overnight bag packed so we called a cab and Mr. Bee and I headed to the hospital.  The cab driver asked us if he should floor it — we live in Brooklyn and the hospital is a 20 minute drive away — but we told him it wasn’t an emergency.  Meanwhile I timed my contractions on my iphone using the Labor and Contraction Timer app, and my contractions really started to intensify.  I knew this was it.

9:00pm – We arrive at the hospital.

It was one of their busiest days of the year so we had to wait in the waiting room. They had 27 births within 24 hours that night! Our doctor later told us his personal record was 29 births in 24 hours.

10:05pm – My water breaks while sitting in the waiting room.

I wasn’t expecting my water to break because less than 15% off women have their water break on its own, and if it does break, it’s usually a slow trickle rather than the sudden gush you see in the movies. Most women actually have their water broken by the doctor during labor to help it progress faster. I leaked water earlier that night, but now there was no doubt that this was my water breaking completely — it just gushed out uncontrollably and soaked through the overnight pad I was wearing, my leggings, shirt, and sweater. Mr. Bee went to tell the staff, and they gave him some waterproof pads for me to sit on. I also passed my mucus plug, which is the thickened mucus that blocks your cervix throughout pregnancy. Women can pass this up to a couple of days before labor.

10:30pm – Admitted to triage.

After an hour and a half of waiting, we were finally admitted to triage, which is where they check how far you’re dilated to determine whether or not to admit you. Many women are found to be in the early stages of labor and are sent home. The first 2 hours we were in triage my contractions were painful, but I think I have a pretty high pain threshold so they were tolerable. I remember thinking I’d rate them an 8 on a pain scale of 1-10. At this point I was about 4 centimeters dilated, and many women receive an epidural when they’re this far along.

Soon the pain became unbearable and nonstop — there were peaks of excruciating, kill-me-now contractions with slightly less painful “rest” in between each one. I am a suffer-in-silence type of person, but it hurt so much I couldn’t control sobbing and sobbing uncontrollably out loud. My contractions were unusually fast and hard. I don’t think this was a typical labor however, as first births usually progress a lot slower. I sat on the toilet through the contractions a couple of times because I had the feeling of wanting to push. On a scale of 1-10, the pain was a 100. I seriously wanted to die. Mr. Bee felt so helpless because there wasn’t anything he could do to help me.

Some women get an epidural as soon as they get to the hospital before they’re in any real pain. But I think moms that experience significant pain forget about it once their baby is born because it’s all worth it once you hold your baby in your arms. Well it was definitely worth it, but let me tell you that I will never forget the pain of those contractions as long as I live. It was by far the most painful thing I’ve ever experienced in my entire life.

12:30am – Meanwhile the nurses on staff were just ignoring us.

Mr. Bee was pissed because he kept asking for help, and they didn’t seem to care at all. They kept telling us that a labor and delivery room would be ready in 15 minutes. I was next in line. They were cleaning the room now. The anesthesiologist on call stopped by to introduce himself and was much kinder than the nurses. But because the hospital was so busy, they didn’t have a labor and delivery room for me, and that was the only place they could administer an epidural. The promise of that soon impending epidural was the only thing that kept me going. The 15 minutes they told us it would take turned into over 3 hours.

2:20am – I receive my epidural.

The anesthesiologist came in pretty quickly once I was in the labor and delivery room. Mr. Bee wasn’t allowed to stay — this is standard practice as I hear that many fathers pass out. It took another 30 minutes for the anesthesiologist to put the epidural in. I had to sit still as they were inserting the epidural in my spine, while I was sobbing through the contractions. Then it took another 20-30 minutes for the epidural to kick in!!!  My friend who gave birth a month before me at NYU told me that it took 2 hours from the time she asked for an epidural until the time she got one because the hospital was so busy. So I was prepared that it might take awhile for me to receive my epidural… I just never anticipated that my pain would escalate so quickly.

I was pissed that I had to endure over 3 hours of excruciating labor pain. Had they not been so busy, I definitely would have received the epidural hours earlier. Not only did I feel like I suffered needlessly, but the nurses in triage didn’t care, and when Mr. Bee complained to one of the nurses in my labor and delivery room, she said, “Well that’s labor.”

My sweet, sweet epidural

2:50am – 8 cm dilated, -1 station

“Dilation” refers to opening and widening of your cervix so that your baby can pass through your birth canal. “Station” refers to how far your baby’s head has descended down into your pelvis. .. “it is measured in centimeters as a negative station. This negative measurement goes from -3 to -1. Once your baby has settled into your pelvis, but before he starts his descent to the birth canal, it is referred to as a zero (0) station. Once your baby starts heading towards the cervix, it is referred to as a positive station from 1 to 3.” (via babiesonline)

3:10am – Other interventions.

Once the epidural kicked in, I stopped feeling any pain. I could breathe. I could live. I was already 8 centimeters dilated at this point. 10 centimeters is completely dilated and when you start to push. Maybe if I had stuck it out for another hour I could have given birth, but I couldn’t handle the pain a minute longer.

All the machines I was hooked up to.

The baby’s heartbeat was slow because my fast labor was hard on him, so they gave me an iv, oxygen and a shot to slow down the contractions to give the baby a break. I also received a foley catheter, which is standard practice when you get an epidural since you lose sensation from the waist down. At one point there were a bunch of doctors in the room at the same time because the baby’s heartbeat was slow, and it was kinda freaking me out. They had me lay in different positions because the baby’s heartbeat would go up or down when I laid a certain way. Because the baby’s heartbeat was similar to mine and they were having some difficulty with the overlap, they also inserted an ISE, an internal scalp electrode, way down there to better monitor the baby’s heartbeat.

Most people receive pitocin during labor to speed things up. I’d actually prepared to ask the doctor to put off administering pitocin, but here I was needing something to slow labor down!

My contractions.

3:30am – My doula arrives.

After they hooked me up to all the machines, I passed out briefly. When I opened my eyes, my doula had arrived. She would have come at any point during my labor, but there would have been nothing she could have done while I was in triage so we didn’t call her until after I received my epidural.

8:00am – 9 cm, 0 station

From 3:30am – 8:00am I dozed in and out of sleep. I was told to press this button every 20 minutes to self administer extra doses of the epidural. I was only pressing it maybe once every hour, and my bitchy labor nurse yelled at me and told me I had to press it every 20 minutes.

The shot they gave me to slow down my contractions must have been really effective because I only dilated 1 centimeter in 5 hours! Epidurals often slow down labor as well.

10:13am – 9 1/2 cm dilated, 0 station.

The doctor says there is a “little lip on the left side”. One side is 9cm dilated, the other is 10cm dilated.

11:10am – Little interior lip, 0 to +1 station.

Slowly making progress…

1:07pm – Fully dilated. The doctor says, “Let’s start pushing.”

I did not like the labor nurse that was assigned to me at all. Luckily she allowed my doula to completely take charge of the pushing. The nurse turned my epidural off at this point without asking me if I wanted it off. Epidurals are sometimes turned off so you can better feel the contractions, but I could feel the contractions fine and had no problems pushing.

They removed my catheter so I could start pushing. With my doula coaching me, I pushed for 3 consecutive sets of 10 seconds at a time. We tried several different positions, starting with the traditional way on my back. Though this is the most common way of giving birth, it’s the least efficient way. You’re laying on your tailbone giving your baby less room to fit through, and you’re working against gravity. We asked the nurse for a squatting bar, attached it to the bed and tried pushing in two different positions using it. The squatting position is the position you’ll see women around the world giving birth in, because gravity is working in your favor. We learned all this in our birthing class (which tended to lean towards a more natural birth), and it just made a lot more sense.

2:20pm – My contractions come back full force.

My epidural has completely worn off and my contractions are now so painful I can’t concentrate on pushing.

2:45pm – I receive another epidural.

It took 20 minutes to kick in, and at 3:05pm, I started pushing again. The doctor came in at some point, spread open my business down there, and said that the baby has not made much progress moving down. Plus he’s a big baby. Then he busts out THE C WORD. Yep C Section. At that point I didn’t care if I projectile shit all over the doctor. I was determined to push this baby out and not have a c section. I’m given until 4pm to push the baby out.

3:23pm – Between +1 and +2 station.

Am beginning to feel like a failure.  Women around the world give birth every day! With no pain meds at that! No one I know has had a c section, and I never in a million years considered that I might have to get one. At 4pm I’ll have been fully dilated/pushing for 3 hours, with very little progress. The 3 hour mark is the point at which my hospital seriously considers a c section because it’s very stressful for the baby to be in the birth canal and pushed out for that long.

The doctor examines me again and the baby has not moved down far enough to even use a vacuum or forceps. Did you know that even if you don’t push, your contractions will most likely push your baby out eventually? I was pushing with every single fiber of my being, and that baby was just not moving down.

The labor nurse takes away the squatting bar at one point without even asking us. It seems like she thinks this is going to end in a c section anyway so there is no point in me pushing.

3:50pm – The nurse tells me to stop pushing.

I was told I had until 4pm to push. I really hate her. My catheter is inserted again.

4:04pm – The doctor comes in to examine me.

I gave it my best shot, but the baby is big, he’s not making any progress, his heartbeat is dipping, and the doctor suggests a c section.

4:10pm – I’m wheeled into the OR.

Mr. Bee waited outside while they set up the OR. I was given an epidural and an iv and all kinds of monitoring things were attached to me. The iv made me shiver so they put a warming blanket on my upper body that filled with warm air. They pressed down on my abdomen and asked me if I could feel it to make sure the epidural has kicked in. I’m told I will feel pressure during the surgery, but not any pain. A curtain was raised above my waist and Mr. Bee came back in.

I didn’t feel the incision but I felt some pressure when they were moving stuff around. It wasn’t painful though.

4:34pm – Baby bee is born!

The baby was hooked up to a heartbeat monitor the entire time I was in the labor and delivery room, and being able to hear his continuous heartbeat was very reassuring. In the operating room, there was no audible heartbeat monitor so the seconds between when the doctor announced that the baby was born and when he first started crying were torturous. I wondered if he was alive. Was he still born? Was the labor too hard on him?

But then we heard the cry. And what a glorious strong cry it was! Our baby bee was born on his exact due date!

I’d been watching a ton of the birth reality shows on TLC, and I usually tear up when the babies are born, so I thought I’d cry for sure when baby bee was born. But I didn’t… I think I was too relieved to express happiness at that moment.

Posterior Position.

The doctor announced that it was a big baby, and that he was in the posterior position, or face up, which made pushing him out even harder. According to Baby Center, between 5 and 12 percent of babies are face-up at delivery, and the percentage is higher among first-time mothers. Mothers whose babies are face-up at birth tend to push longer, more commonly need Pitocin to stimulate contractions, and have a significantly higher risk of having an assisted vaginal delivery or a c-section. Those who do give birth vaginally to a baby who is posterior are more likely to have an episiotomy and severe perineal tears than moms whose babies are in the more favorable face-down position, even after you account for the higher rate of forceps and vacuum-assisted delivery.

8 lbs, 6 oz.

They let Mr. Bee hold baby bee and I saw him for the first time. Wow he was a big one! There was no way I would have been able to push him out!  Mr. Bee was allowed to take pictures of baby bee on the scale. Check out his cone head even though he was born via c section since he spent 3 hours being pushed down into my birth canal.

Babies are very swollen when they’re first born. Charlie’s face shrunk a lot in the subsequent days.

They apply some sort of vaseline type substance to all babies’ eyes when they’re born.

Stitching me up took a lot longer than getting the baby out. I was awake during the procedure, and didn’t feel any pain at all.  After the surgery, I was wheeled into the labor recovery room and reunited with baby bee shortly thereafter. Babies are so alert right after they’re born! He was awake and looking around. Imagine what a huge shock it must be for babies to be born. They’re in this dark, small womb and then all of a sudden bam! They’re born into this bright busy world.

We spent a little time with baby bee and I tried to breastfeed. Soon thereafter they took baby bee away to the nursery to examine him, and we weren’t reunited with him until a couple hours later when we were able to get a semi-private room.

My labor was the opposite of what I’d prepared for. I didn’t think my water would break, I thought the doctor would try to give me pitocin (which I was hoping not to receive), and I most certainly didn’t think getting a c section was even a remote possibility. You just can’t plan your labor because you don’t know what’s going to happen.

Of course now that Charlie is here it was all worth it.  I do think I had a harder than average labor considering I got an epidural, and I don’t want to scare you, but I will still never forget how painful labor was. Never. Ever. I mean ever.