More than a year and a half into the pandemic, we’ve been settled into our new normal for a while now. There was some hope earlier this year as vaccines were released and positive cases trended downward for months. But then Delta hit and the optimism we might have felt earlier this year has waned. We are all going to live with covid for a long time, and while we can control how we react to it, we can’t control how others do. That’s why we’re still home 24/7. We don’t socialize at all because Delta just arrived to our island, the vast majority are unvaccinated, and 99% of people still go maskless and socialize.
The kids do online homeschool for 4 hours Monday-Saturday and spend the rest of the day coding or reading. Thank goodness they have each other. Mr. Bee is building an app that teaches kids how to read. And I have my animal rescue, children’s library, and cooking endlessly. Life hasn’t changed too much for us since the start of the pandemic, other than the fact that we’ve accepted that this will be our normal for a long time coming.
This is what I miss most about my pre-pandemic life:
1) Family. I visit my family in the US every year. Charlie and Olive are the only grandkids in my family, and both sides of our families are very small, so it’s important that they know the few relatives that they have! It’s been almost two years since we last saw my family — luckily we visited just before lockdown — the longest I’ve ever gone in my 42.9 years of life. Olive has grown 7 inches and Charlie has grown 9 inches. I think my parents will be shocked at how much they’ve grown, not just physically, but maturity-wise as well. They’re not the little kids who played with toys when they were 7 and 9 the last time my parents saw them.
2) Friends. We never socialized that much since we’re both introverts, but we enjoyed hanging out with close friends a couple times a month. Now we catch up over instant messenger, but it isn’t the same as enjoying a drink and laugh in person. At the same time, the pandemic has given us time to reevaluate our friendships and invest in the ones we value most. Some friends have remained close despite the distance, and some have fallen by the wayside without regular opportunities to run into them, and the effort it requires to stay in touch. When the pandemic “ends” for us, I suspect we will have a smaller circle of friends.
3) Eating Out. I would cook during the week, but we were usually out and about on weekends running errands, attending birthday parties, or spending time in nature. I didn’t want to spend our precious quality time cooking, so we usually ate out on weekends. There are very few restaurants open here so I cook every meal now. I’m the type of person who immediately freezes leftovers to eat another day because I don’t like eating the same thing twice. I miss the variety and convenience of eating out.
4) Coffee Shops. There aren’t many things to do in our town, so we used to love going to coffee shops whether it was to have a change of scenery from home, enjoy a nice cup of coffee, meet a friend, or get some work done, coffee shops were always a big part of our lives.
5) Big celebrations. My brother had to postpone his wedding twice due to the pandemic because we thought the pandemic would be over sooner, and then the vaccine roll-out where his wife’s parents live in Korea and we live in the Philippines was much slower than it was in the US. Plus both Korea and the Philippines have strict quarantine protocols. They already got married on paper, but we’re waiting until spring 2022 to have an in-person ceremony.
6) Small celebrations. Typically we’d have birthday parties for the kids, but this will be the second year in a row where it’s just our family. We planned on going to the island capital for Olive’s birthday, but Delta has arrived so we canceled. We’ve had very simple celebrations at home, but I always get a memorable cake made for them.
7) Live events. I love concerts, comedy clubs and live entertainment of most kinds. Even though I don’t like large crowds, I love the energy you feel from seeing a live performance. It’s also why I prefer watching big movies in theaters with a large screen and surround sound speakers rather than at home.
8) Travel. The requirements needed for us to leave the Philippines and re-enter make international travel a daunting prospect. Testing requirements, 10-day mandatory hotel quarantines, and a whole lot of paperwork have kept us home. I suspect after we return from visiting my family in the US, the next time we leave the Philippines will be to move to the US.
9) Personal care and pampering. We are all in desperate need of haircuts. But the only decent hairdresser in town never wears masks, so I’ve been cutting the kids’ hair myself. I hope we can get haircuts at the airport before we leave for the US so we don’t show up looking like ragamuffins! I also miss massages because it was one of the few things I did to pamper myself since they’re only $8/hour here.
10) Taekwondo. The kids loved their taekwondo classes and it had so many positive effects on them. I miss taekwondo more than I miss school!
. . . . .
On the flipside, I don’t miss our tourism-based business or the tourism industry. I’m glad that the kids are in online homeschool rather than the in-person school they were attending because they are learning so much more. And I don’t miss being as busy as we were.
What do you miss most about your pre-pandemic life? And what don’t you miss?
pear / 1622 posts
I miss small celebrations, being able to visit indoors. With both my kids starting elementary school during the pandemic I feel like we missed opportunities to connect with classmates, families with kids the same ages. I am thankful for outdoor neighborhood gatherings but when it is too hot we are all indoors by ourselves.
I hate how the US has become more divided with masks and Covid vaccines in our lives.
I appreciate that there are more options for online learning and activities as a result of the pandemic.
admin / watermelon / 14210 posts
@autumnleaves: more online learning opportunities have been amazing for us living on a remote island with few educational opportunities. it’s actually changed our career course, and we hope to be developing a bunch of educational apps in the coming years.
nectarine / 2018 posts
I miss making simple decisions on going places/doing activities – now every choice feels huge. Will it be inside or out? Will masks be on? Are the other people invited also taking COVID seriously? Are all of the adults and kids over 12 vaccinated? Even simple chores like going to the store – do I want DD inside around so many unknown people? We are taking things fairly seriously still but it seems like so many other people have loosened up. I miss just getting an invitation to something and going.
On the flip side I love that we are less busy. DD is only doing one activity right now. We have been able to have a small social circle the past year of people who are taking it seriously, which has allowed some friendships to really grow.
pea / 8 posts
I agree with what you wrote, especially about the smaller circle of friends. The pandemic has definitely helped us whittle down our group of friends and invest in the ones we value more. Like with all things that’s been going on lately, the pandemic revealed some of our peers’ true colors re: how (not) seriously they’re taking COVID precautions and it was one of the ways we were able to justify whether or not we want to continue spending our time on energy on them.
I also miss big celebrations. I am a 2020 bride and we had an extremely small wedding and while it was still an amazing day, I wish so badly we could have had the big party my husband and I both wanted, with all of our friends and extended family present.
I also miss not being cautious when hanging out with friends.
I am also a teacher working at a Title I school and virtual learning really hurt a lot of our low-income, immigrant students…the gap has become even wider and many of our 2nd graders are still reading on a Kindergarten level. Our 1st graders have never been in school before so it was like we had double the amount of Kindergarten students. I understand how many students really thrived with online learning, which is awesome! But it also deeply saddened me that the students who really needed the time and energy in-person couldn’t get it because of COVID.
cantaloupe / 6730 posts
@catgirl: YES!!!!! 10000 x yes! I feel like I have major decision fatigue. I miss not worrying about whether I’ve made the right decision.
I also miss travel. We were waiting for the kids to get just a bit older so that we didn’t need naps, and then just as we made plans, covid hit.
cherry / 108 posts
@catgirl: This is sooo insanely accurate. I feel all of this too! All the extra anxiety and mental gymnastics involved in doing literally ANY thing has just become the norm for us and it’s so fatiguing.
cantaloupe / 6086 posts
@catgirl: yes I just want to stop overthinking everything! And I’ve missed a lot of the little things like class parties and special holiday events that we skipped.
But we also had so much silver lining in how close it made our family and how much we slowed down. I hope to hang onto some of that.
admin / watermelon / 14210 posts
@rawkstar: it’s a small town here so everyone knows each other, and there are a lot of conspiracy theorists here. i unfriended a lot of people during the pandemic over their posts.
i think no school was toughest on the youngest grades and the oldest ones, like seniors who missed out on a graduation ceremony and the senior experience.