For many months we had been planning to visit my family in the US, but we waited until Mr. Bee and I were both fully vaccinated. We’ve been in the US for 13 days now, and I didn’t realize how much we had changed over the past twenty months due to the pandemic until we got here. We locked down harder than almost anyone we know because we don’t have access to great medical care on our island. We socialized three times in the entirety of 2021. Half the population of our city left since it is completely dependent on tourism and there was no work. Then we came to the US, where life has had some semblance of normalcy for a while, and it was overwhelming being around so many people when it had just been our family of four for so long. I joked to Mr. Bee that we had become too feral during the pandemic.
I shared what I missed about pre-pandemic life here, but there are many things I actually loved about pandemic life and don’t want to change in our new normal. I don’t know what ways I’ve been forever changed by the pandemic, but at the very least it has given me ample time to consider my priorities.
1) Family Bonding – I lived in the island capital five hours away from Mr. Bee for almost two years with Charlie and Olive so that they could attend school. When lockdown was announced on March 13, 2020, we left the island capital the next day and went back home. I don’t regret our time in the capital — it had an incredible impact on both Charlie and Olive. But being able to spend so much family time together during lockdown after being apart was a gift. The first couple months when we thought lockdown was temporary, we spent our entire days together, playing games, eating all our meals, and going for daily walks on the beach. We’ve continued to eat all our meals together throughout the pandemic. Olive just turned 10 and Charlie is about to turn 12. These are probably the last few years that they want to spend time with us as they enter their teenage years. I feel grateful that we became even closer to our children during these precious years.
2) Less stress – Without the stresses of the daily grind and social engagements, I went off my antidepressants. I’ve had some ups and downs throughout the pandemic, but overall I’ve been pretty even-keeled, which I consider great for me!
3) Less socializing – As introverts, it was easy to embrace this new normal. We like socializing occasionally, but we had more social engagements than we would have preferred pre-pandemic. We probably became too introverted during lockdown though because now that we’re in the US where we will be meeting lots of friends, it’s a little stressful to think about!
4) Less spending and less stuff – Since we were locked down on a remote island, with nowhere to go and no shopping options, we bought almost nothing other than food and household necessities during the pandemic. That translated into spending much less overall. We didn’t buy any clothes for our family for almost two years, and Charlie and Olive outgrew almost everything. I’ve been a minimalist since we got rid of everything we owned before we moved to the Philippines, but the pandemic took it to a new level.
5) Online Homeschool – I never wanted to be a homeschooler if it meant that I was the one doing the teaching. During the pandemic we enrolled the kids in an online US-based school where they do all the teaching, and it has been a game changer for us. The kids are thriving and enjoy learning after having taken a pandemic year off. It also gives us a lot more flexibility to transfer to a public school if we move to the US, or continue online homeschooling if we decide to travel long term.
6) Not caring about my appearance – I’ve been living in comfy clothes with no makeup the entire pandemic. And when I did go into town, I was always wearing a mask so I cared even less about my appearance. Seeing people again means putting on makeup and getting dressed up, something that’s very out of practice now. I loved being comfy.
7) Rethinking priorities – The pandemic made me want to live closer to my parents. But I don’t have a desire to move back to the US; the only reason to do so would be to spend more time with my parents as they get older. Now we’re here in the States, and I will have to think very long and hard about this decision. Perhaps I’ve become too accustomed to our hermetic pandemic life, and I just can’t imagine going from the lives we have now to our former American lives.
8) Career Changes – We will never reopen our small family-run resort again. Most think it will be another two years at the earliest before the tourism industry recovers on our island. We learned a lot from the hospitality industry and it was a great experience meeting people from all over the globe. But it was grueling with long days and no days off, especially in a developing country where we faced many challenges with labor, red tape, etc. So we had to change careers during the pandemic. Mr. Bee is working on educational apps that he actually started working on in New York before we moved to the Philippines. I’ve been working on animal rescue and a children’s library the entire pandemic, but neither generate any income so I need to figure out my next step in life. And I don’t know what it is yet.
9) Cooking – I don’t particularly love cooking, but I cooked more than I’ve ever cooked in my life during the pandemic because almost all local restaurants remain closed. I cooked soups and Korean food because I craved it, Filipino food for our staff, and the kids’ favorite foods. I tried time intensive recipes I never would have and learned a lot. Though I don’t wish to continue cooking so much for the rest of my life, I am thankful that I was able to provide so many healthy and nutritious meals for Charlie and Olive. Olive is thin and Charlie is short and neither have ever been big eaters, but they both ate well during the pandemic and grew so much!
10) Connecting with nature – We live on the beach with undeveloped forest around us, so we’ve always been surrounded by nature. But during the pandemic we gardened, farmed, raised more animals, and appreciated nature even more. We planted dozens of mulberry and banana trees that have been providing us with abundant fruit. We bought over 100 one-day-old chicks and the females have been laying eggs for several months now. We got two adorable ducks. We planted squash, eggplant, tomatoes, cucumbers, okra, green beans, peppers, ginger, herbs, and many more native vegetables, using the poop from our bunnies as fertilizer. We pickled and fermented. We even tried making our own salt!
Are there any things you loved or don’t want to change from pandemic life?
guest
loved this so much! you’re truly an inspiration. xx
guest
Thanks for sharing! Who takes care of your animals when you leave? Will there be tons of work to do at your resort when/if you return?
clementine / 948 posts
Wonderful that you can see family and that your kids got the vaccine so quickly after arrival! I wonder if you can find some middle ground, move to somewhere rural within a few hour drive from your parents? Returning to big city life after island living seems very challenging.
The pandemic has given me an existential crisis. Why do we center our lives around jobs? Why are essential workers paid so little and taken for granted? I can barely hold in my contempt for many people’s jobs now that don’t contribute to the greater good and just make silly high salaries. I keep hoping to convince my husband to move closer to our extended family, for him to either demand permanent WFH from his current job or to quit and find something remote.
We do have a lot of friends where we live but it feels like everyone is so busy with their children and then their extended families. I just can’t decide if living by our friends is enough. Or if we will be resentful moving near grandparents but with zero friends.
admin / watermelon / 14210 posts
@tiffany – we have 2 live-in staff that cares for our animals and another staff that manages our farm animals and gardens.
We will return in 3 months but we’re always doing ongoing maintenance work (a necessity when you live by the ocean in a humid climate with typhoons). For instance we are replacing our front gate now as it was made of wood and got damaged in the last typhoon. There shouldn’t be too much to do when we return. Hopefully!
admin / watermelon / 14210 posts
@ChitownRo: i’ve definitely thought about moving somewhere more remote! There are pretty remote areas within 2 hours of where my parents live, but at the same time the only reason to move to the US is to be close to them and spend as much time as possible. I just know that I don’t want to live in the city my parents live (I went to high school there so I know what it’s like). We’ve even thought about spending at least 3 months out of the year in the US and the rest abroad. It’s really hard to make long-term plans with a global pandemic still going on!
cantaloupe / 6086 posts
@ChitownRo: I really struggle with this question too. We each only have 1 parent left and know things can happen where we might regret being so far away. But what happens if we move back close and then lose those parents? Do we want to be there forever? We also don’t want to stay where we are now forever either and just really want to feel some permanence – however it’s still hard to give up the friends and school and settled life we have after 7 years here.