The American Academy of Pediatrics’ guidelines states that all soft objects such as stuffed animals, and loose bedding such as pillows, blankets, and bumpers should be kept out of a crib until a baby is at least 1. We strictly adhered to these guidelines with Charlie, and never put anything in his crib, though we did use breathable bumpers before the AAP came out against them. We didn’t even allow him to use a pillow and blanket until he turned 2 and was old enough to ask for them!
When Charlie was a newborn, we received an Angeldear lovey as a gift, but I was too scared to allow him to sleep with it. It turned out that we didn’t need to introduce a lovey because he adopted the sleeves of his white Carters’ onesies that he wore to bed every night as his lovey. He started chewing on the edges of the sleeves when he was as young as 2 months old to self-soothe. I think it really helped that Charlie had a lovey he could depend on for comfort to get him through sleep training when he was 4 1/2 months old.
Charlie continued to chew on his sleeves well past 1 year of age whenever he needed to self-soothe, particularly before naps and at bedtime. We have dozens of onesies with yellowed and frayed sleeves to prove it! Charlie still wears his beloved long-sleeve Carters’ onesies to sleep, but now instead of chewing, he rubs the edges of the sleeves with his fingers to self-soothe when he’s not feeling well.
A lot of kids adopt a lovey on their own, but many parents intentionally introduce loveys, otherwise known as security blankets or transitional objects. I didn’t have any plans to introduce a lovey to Olive, but like Charlie, she adopted one all on her own.
I use these Gerber prefold diapers whenever I’m nursing to catch any milk that leaks from the other side. Olive started rubbing the burp cloth between her fingers and covering her face with it during our nursing sessions. It really seemed to help soothe her since she associated it with the comfort of nursing. So about a month ago when she was 6 months old, I started letting her sleep with her lovey from time to time. I definitely think it’s helped her sleep, as I’ve watched her rub the burp cloth between her fingers and soothe herself to sleep on the video monitor.
There are no official guidelines out there on when you can introduce a lovey, which makes the decision of when to do so all the more difficult. The AAP says nothing in the crib until 1 year. The No Cry Sleep Solution suggests 4 months when babies can roll and move their heads easily. I’ve also heard 6 months as the magic number — at that point SIDS risk declines, but it is still considered a big risk until the age of 1. Please do your own research and talk to your own doctor before making any decisions.
I didn’t let Olive use a lovey until she was 6 months old because she had great head and neck control at that point, she was also able to roll over well both ways, and she had good control of her hands. But because of the AAP guidelines, I was still scared to let her sleep with the lovey unsupervised, and would only allow her to use it during naps when I was watching her on the video monitor, and once in a while at night if she was being particularly fussy. When she’d fall asleep, I’d sneak in and snatch the lovey away. Her burp cloth lovey is about 12″ x 16″ and is made of very lightweight, breathable cotton, with nothing on it (eg small buttons, etc.) that can fall off. Maybe if I cut it in half, I’ll worry half as much.
It still kind of freaks me out to let her sleep with it because she loves to drape it across her face, but I’m getting used to the idea little by little. I like that she’s adopted a lovey that provides her with a sense of comfort when I’m not there. When we sleep train, I plan to sleep with the lovey beforehand so that it has my scent on it. If we only use the lovey at naptimes and bedtime, she’ll also come to associate it with a very strong sleep cue, which will hopefully make her a much better sleeper!
Did you or do you plan to introduce a lovey to your little one? At what age?
*The information on this site is not intended nor implied to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment, and is for education purposes only. Always seek the advice of a qualified healthcare provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition.
pomelo / 5178 posts
With DD, we introduced a lovey at about 3-4 months; we used the technique in the No Cry Sleep Solution. We stopped swaddling her and gave her a lovey, all at the same time. However, I didn’t let her sleep with it until she was 6 months old. I’d wait until she was really asleep, and then take it out of her crib.
I’m not sure when we’ll introduce one to DS. Maybe around the same time? I think it helped DD break the swaddle habit, since she had something to hold on to to keep her hands out of her face.
olive / 59 posts
I didn’t realise breathable cot bumpers have been banned?
pomegranate / 3658 posts
So a “binky” is a pacifier, and a “lovey” is a security blanket? I feel like there’s this lexicon of parenting vocabulary that everyone somehow knows! Anything else I should learn?
admin / watermelon / 14210 posts
@MuzzyBee: they haven’t been banned, but the aap came out against them….
we do have the breathable bumpers on olive’s crib because she kept getting her legs stuck in between the slats and waking up. we used them for charlie until he was almost 2!
olive / 59 posts
Oh cool
I knew that the padded ones are banned (probably everywhere but here!) but thought the breathable ones were a safer alternative. Will have to do some more research I guess! Thanks
cherry / 190 posts
We introduced the lovely at close to 5 months right as we were breaking the swaddle. It took 3 different ones to find one she loved but now she’s absolutely in love with this little bunny lovey and chewing on its ears helps her soothe herself to sleep.
blogger / nectarine / 2010 posts
I tried no swaddle the other night and after two hours he still could not fall asleep. By the time I gave in and tried the lovey it was too late. The night ended 2.5 hours later with me yelling up the stairs, “don’t worry, mommy will fix it!” as I ran up with two swaddles and wrapped the bejesus out of him…asleep within 5 mins.
GOLD / wonderful grape / 20289 posts
I’ve tried to force a lovey on my LO, but she just wants her thumb. Maybe when she is older.
wonderful clementine / 24134 posts
At 9 months we are just trying the idea of a lovie. Probably should have started sooner but we wanted to give her a chance to “pick one” on her own (which never happened). We are hoping that she attaches to a wubbanub.
guest
Our daughter likes to bury her face in her A&A swaddle blankets. They too are light weight and breathable. We often will drape one over her face when she’s tired and having a hard time falling asleep. We stay beside her until she falls asleep and then take it off of her face.
However, I have to admit that we break ‘the rules’ and let her sleep with her A&A blanket. But at almost 4 months old, she’s still in our room– we might stop letting her sleep with it once she moves into the nursery.
hostess / wonderful honeydew / 32460 posts
So cute!!!
My LO never took to anything for comfort.. :T (except my boobs?) :T She has a stuffed animal that she loves, but it doesn’t help her sleep.
guest
I waited until 12 months because of the AAP guidelines, then bought 4 identical A&A “issie blankets” to rotate through her crib. It took a couple of weeks, but at 16 months she now pulls the satin edges through her fingers or over her lips as she falls asleep.
pear / 1787 posts
This is a great post. But mostly I wanted to log in and say, check out those gorgeous lashes!
pomegranate / 3414 posts
DD went to daycare at 8 weeks so we introduced a lovely then. We wanted her to have something that smelled/felt familiar so we would put her lovey in the carseat, it never left the carseat because the daycare doesn’t put things in the crib. Now at 2yo we try to limit the lovey to just her bed; however at daycare they are a little more liberal which is fine.
GOLD / pomelo / 5167 posts
You would die if you saw the blankets Mavrick sleeps with. And this since he’s 1! Forget the “child” size blankets… he grabbed the one on our bed. So yup, a queen size blanket is Mavricks lovey.
GOLD / papaya / 10166 posts
LO has been covering and rubbing her face with her blankets for the past couple of weeks. It really helps her to soothe herself, so we just let her do it but remove it from her face as soon as she’s passed out. She’ll do it with the A&A blankets and also her chenille blanket.
GOLD / wonderful olive / 19030 posts
Cute, I don’t plan on purposely introducing something unless I feel like my little one needs something to help self-soothe. My nieces all have blankets that they carry around.
grape / 90 posts
Do you have a link or something to the AAP statement? We got a breathable bumper because PB was constantly getting arms and legs stuck in his crib slats. We asked our pediatrician about it and she saw no problem with it…. her kids used the bad padded bumpers! (They’re a little bit older, obviously).
admin / watermelon / 14210 posts
@Schmei: i couldn’t find a specific reference to breathable bumpers, but apartment therapy gave the app a call to confirm:
http://www.apartmenttherapy.com/its-official-aap-says-no-crib-158888
grape / 84 posts
I think my LO is on track to adobt a gerber pre-fold diaper as his lovey as well! Funny how they have all these cute and adorable little blankies and stuffed animals and they gravitate toward the cloth diapers.
blogger / pomelo / 5400 posts
I sometimes think about introducing one to see if it helps Baby Y get through his remaining night waking, but I’m not sure…
hostess / wonderful apple seed / 16729 posts
Never knew you’re suppose to wait til 1 to give a lovey. Good to know.
I, also, didn’t know breathable bumpers were banned. Or the APP went against them.
guest
Hi Mrs. Bee – found this post via a google search! My 4.5 mo old also chews on her sleeves. She freaks out when we put her in short sleeved onesies for naps/nightime. Would Charlie sleep in long sleeves even when it was hot? I’m afraid of the impending summer weather and my LO’s dependency on long sleeves, wondering what you did in those instances?
admin / watermelon / 14210 posts
@mky – we kept him in the long sleeve onesies even in summer! just had the ac on and no sleep sack. you’d be surprised how easily the make the transition though to something new if you introduce it.