Carriers. It’s SO confusing. There are Metas. Full buckles. Half buckles. Wraps. Ring slings. Water slings. Hybrids. Mei Tais. Pods. If you’re new to the world of babywearing, your head is likely spinning right now with visions of Toyotas and fruity drinks. And you might have a headache. Sorry. And with some of the options costing, well, an arm and a leg, you may well be thinking that babywearing is only for people with big bank accounts. I wanted to write a post telling you that you are wrong. But I wanted to be sure. Sure that there were, in fact, comfortable, ergonomic, and reasonable options to fit almost any budget. And there are!
So finding the right carrier is pretty analogous to settling down into a romantic relationship. If my interest in trying new things and general restlessness in the wrap world means anything significant in the arena of my love life, Mr. T had better watch out. Just sayin’. Of course, a great deal of my “try all the things” -ness comes from a purely professional interest. So we’re good. Anywho, if a carrier treats you badly; if it digs, pinches, causes back pain, or is otherwise a sucky partner, leave it: you can do better. If things are going swimmingly but something gorgeous and new catches your eye, by all means– enjoy looking. But don’t feel the need to ditch what you’ve got in hot pursuit of the untried. The other carrier may be popular, but that doesn’t mean that it will have your back (literally) when you’re down. And you may very well lose the wrap of your dreams in a wrap-lust-frenzy that makes swingers look like June Cleaver on a Monday night.
The best carrier is one that you can afford, one that feels comfortable to you and your child, and one that you can live with. The end. You can hunt forever for that one thing made of solid gold (and, may I say, “ouch!”), but in my personal and tested experience you can’t improve too much on what works. I have had wraps that have been uncomfortable, yes– but if I was sworn under oath, I would have to make the confession that the most comfortable and expensive wrap I’ve ever tried wasn’t that much greater than a machine woven that I also loved (and that most anyone could afford). And that the most expensive wrap I’ve ever tried (not mine, thank goodness!) was also pretty uncomfortable to me. Mind blown?
You wouldn’t know to excuse the ridiculous amount of time it has taken me to write this, but let’s just say that it’s been in the works for quite a while. You see, my love of wearing my girls ended up hurtling me, headfirst, into the realm of the handwoven. I’ll be focusing mostly on wraps here, because they’re my thing. But it’s the same general premise across the board: try some stuff. See what you like. Set a budget. More money doesn’t mean enhanced performance 100% of the time.
My affection for wrapping started off innocently, as most love affairs do. I had a modest relationship with a Storchenweige Leo Natural that lasted for several years. Things progressed in a tame, no-nonsense fashion until I met The Babywearing Swap. A place to find used wraps? It sounded practical. At that point, I got sucked into the vortex. You see, there are bargain wraps (think Moby and Miel et Malice). Then there are machine wovens (hey there, Oscha, Didy, and Natibaby). Then there are high-end wraps. And then? Oh, then there are the handwovens. Wraps that are referred to as, “unicorns,” and can command price tags of over $1,000 apiece. Is your head spinning yet? Mine sure was. I was intrigued. What exactly does one do to fabric to make it worth that much? I googled “things you can do with $1,000” just for fun so I could provide you with a handy reference point. Apparently I can rent an Irish castle with some friends for a week and my share would be less than I might pay for a *used* Uppymama. Or take a sweet Buenos Aires vacation. Or, you know, I could totally buy some fabric.
Good friends loan things. Wink, wink.
Most wraps are fairly easy to gather information about online. I can find information about most brands down to the gsm (grams per square meter). If I’m lucky enough to have a babywearing group nearby (I’m not, in case you were wondering), I would probably be able to try a few wraps of different descriptions and materials. But when I tried to get information on handwovens, it was like trying to break into a secure vault. I could find pictures of them. I could sometimes hear whisperings that they were magical. But I couldn’t seem to pin down any useful information whatever. Facebook groups were locked down tight. Some of the hurdles had hurdles. And so began my bright idea: I wanted to make handwovens accessible to the masses. If not in price, then surely in actual information. Because if I am exchanging sunbathing in the tropics for some cloth, I want to know exactly what it is that I am getting.
As with many of the higher-cost carriers, there’s a certain level of mystique. They must be special. They sure as stuff have a “special” price tag! But wait for it– they aren’t magic.
I know. I’m crying, too. I tried sitting on the first handwoven that made its way to our house, and it didn’t fly. When I air dry them there is no magical jasmine perfume emanating from hidden Truffula fur. I also kept holding it up to the light to hear the angelic chorus. *Crickets* I would have moments when I would sort of think I heard singing angels… but then I would be pretty sure that I was maybe just hallucinating. And I wasn’t even drinking copious amounts of alcohol or anything. Mr. T helped me make more sense of it. “So you’re saying these wraps are wraps, but they cost, what, ten times what other wraps cost? Do they wrap ten times better?” Yum. Math. “No,” I said. “No, they do not.” Which leads me to the best revelation of all: everyone can be a winner. You can wear your toddler in an expensive, rare handwoven. You can wear them in an osnaburg wrap you made yourself. Both are legitimate. Both are comfortable. Everyone wins. No one gets to be the big, bad, boss babywearer of all times. You wear your child? You are in the club.
I imagine you want to hear what exactly it is that you should buy. Well, here’s where I’m going to let you down. Just a little. I’ll try to be gentle. It’s personal. I think Mr. T is the bees knees, but (fortunately for all of us) not every human on earth shares my opinion. It’s the same for carriers. Every caregiver and child is a pretty unique and special dyad (or triad, or whatever comes after that) and they will have their own opinions about what’s easy, what feels best, and what works. So it’s pretty important to try some things. Check and see if you have a BWI (Babywearing International) Chapter that’s active near you, or if there are any other active groups. They can be fabulous places to talk to other parents, try some carriers, and see what you gravitate towards. No groups? Or big masses of people and babies and gear just not your bag of chips? How about local stores? Lots of times smaller businesses (and big ones, too) are friendly and willing to answer questions. They might even have some samples you can test out. If you live in the middle of nowhere you are still not out of luck: Heavenly Hold offers a trial program where you can try some options risk-free. You may also be able to find a carrier lending library near you.
The moral of the story? If you are interested in babywearing, you can find something that works for you without robbing a bank. And if you have extra money laying around, a trip to Tahiti might be really nice.
blogger / honeydew / 7081 posts
I love the idea of Babywearing- but K isn’t really a fan! I’m hoping to start early with the next baby. Your wraps are so beautiful- but they intimidate me. I think I’m an SSC girl.
GOLD / grapefruit / 4555 posts
@Mrs. Oatmeal: I -know- I’m a SSC kinda girl but I still wouldn’t mind trying to wrap with the next one either. Or even this last one, since she’s much clingier than her brother ever was. But isn’t it good to know that while some wraps are pretty and come with higher price tags, you’re not really missing out too much if you go with one less fancy? Certainly makes it less daunting to me
grapefruit / 4649 posts
I am so excited about wearing our baby when she arrives! I have and have previously used with the kids I nanny for an ergo and a stretchy wrap. I can’t wait to get a woven and I put one on my registry but you have me wondering if I should wait until she arrives and try a few. Fortunately, we have a few baby wearing groups that are kind of close by and several shops with lovely selections where I can also try things. So would you suggest waiting? Or should I buy one now so I have it when she arrives?
papaya / 10473 posts
I love this! Shared it with some friends.
blogger / grapefruit / 4836 posts
You crack me up
can i borrow that unicorn wrap so i can sit in it in MY living room? Maybe you just didn’t know the magic words!
Seriously though, i was given a boba wrap after i had already made two wraps from a long piece of knit fabric ($20 for two wraps? Sweet!) I thought for sure the price tag on the “real” one must make it more comfortable or something, but in all honesty i couldn’t tell a difference. I ended up selling the boba and have the diy one stored away for baby #2.
I don’t know if i would consider myself a “babywearer” but there are definitely times that having lo close is better, and with a very busy toddler to chase after i anticipate using my carriers much more frequently on the future!
blogger / nectarine / 2043 posts
This made me crack up. I totally planned to be a baby wearer and did wear Baby Carrot in an Ergo if she needed to nap and we were out (it was the best way to get her to sleep). But between my level of physical fitness (poor) and her desire to look at all the things (insatiable), we weren’t made for wearing.
blogger / nectarine / 2608 posts
@Cole: I would definitely have something on hand for when baby arrives. Resale values are still pretty competitive, so it’s relatively low risk to try something that may not be love. I usually recommend Wrapsody Bali Stretch as a newborn wrap, especially to people who are relatively new to using a wrap. They are around $79 new. It has uni-directional stretch, so it’s even suitable for back carries. They are so, so soft and comfy for those early days. I would set a $100 (or less) budget for your first wrap, so it’s fairly easy to trade up once baby is here and you do some testing.
blogger / clementine / 998 posts
I love love love your posts. Funny? Check! Wrapping? Jealous! Rent a castle? Awesome!
blogger / pomegranate / 3491 posts
Your posts are so fabulously written.
guest
Thanks. I have one of almost everything and just got my third woven wrap, a medium, to go with my xs and xl. Everyone had their right carrier for the right situation and I clearly have more than I need. But a woven is so much prettier and so much more comfortable for a chunk on a three hour hike.
blogger / pomegranate / 3044 posts
I bought the wrap but still haven’t been brave enough to try back carrying! You give me confidence
blogger / pear / 1563 posts
I love the sharing idea!!
blogger / nectarine / 2608 posts
@beaker: Don’t fear the back carry. It feels intimidating, but in my experience it wasn’t near as scary as I thought it would be. And practicing over a soft surface and near a mirror are really useful in the beginning. One thing I did lots at first was just practice getting Ellie back there in the first place; so with no wrap in hand, I would just practice a hip-scoot (my preference for older babies/toddlers) or superman toss, and then practice safely getting her down. Then once I felt I could get her back there safely it was easier to add in the other parts.
@Mrs. Pinata: Hey– since I know you…
I try to share with friends when I can, especially if they are looking at a wrap that represents a more serious potential risk in the money department. It’s always nicer to know what you are getting. Plus it’s just way fun to try new things.
blogger / nectarine / 2687 posts
love this!!! we are going to have to up our wearing game when we pick up our daughter who will be almost 2 by then!
blogger / eggplant / 11551 posts
Loved reading this!