I know that screen time is a hot button topic and that every family handles it in a way that works for them. On the flip side, I know that many families are looking to minimize the amount of time their children spend staring at screens and interacting with devices.
In the Hopscotch household we go back and forth on how much screen time Miss H has access to, with “screen time” for us meaning watching a show on the tv, iPad or iPhone or playing a game on the iPhone or iPad.
A sick Miss H watching the iPad.
When she was going through a period recently of waking up incredibly early in the morning (2-3 hours before we could take her to daycare), Miss H was given the chance to watch a short (30 minute) show while eating breakfast in the morning. In the first couple of months after the twins were born we downloaded some new iPad games to give Miss H something new to keep her occupied with in the midst of our sleep deprivation. And the few times Miss H has been sick enough for her energy level to be pretty sluggish, we have been much more liberal with resting and watching some tv shows.
What I have noticed, especially recently, is that when Miss H has access to a little bit of screen time on a regular basis, she straight up demands it. All the time. She throws tantrums. She is absolutely relentless in her mission to “watch a show.” And that’s when I know we need to cut her off completely. Taking away screen time is also full of tantrums, tears, and begging…for about 1 day. For how demanding and upset Miss H can be about wanting screen time, she forgets about it pretty quickly after we put our foot down and just tell her “no.”
When it comes to parenting, this is one area when I feel 100% fine about saying “no” as much as is deemed necessary. For as long as possible I want my kids to choose playing and running around over staring at a screen, because I know that to a certain degree it’s a battle I’m going to eventually lose with each of my kids.
Now, do I think that kids who are allowed screen time every day don’t run/play/use their imagination on a regular basis? Of course not! But I’ve personally seen how regular access to devices changes Miss H, so if we don’t absolutely need it at this age, I don’t want it to be a regular part of our routine.
To keep in control of screen time around our house, Mr. H and I have done the following:
- We only have one tv and it’s located in our finished basement, making it relatively inconvenient for all of us to go down and watch it on a regular basis. We also do not have cable.
- The iPad that Miss H is allowed to watch on occasion has a BubCap over the home button. This means that even if Miss H picks up the iPad and wants to watch something, she cannot actually get into anything because she cannot push hard enough to activate the home button.
- Mr. H’s and my iPhones do not have any games on them so they are of little interest to Miss H with the exception of two things: she knows that we can watch little clips of tv shows on them so she will demand to watch a show on our phones sometimes, and she knows how to “swipe up” and get to the calculator, which she calls the “clock fairy.” She’ll punch numbers into the calculator for a few minutes before she tires of it.
- Our iPhones also are protected with 4-digit codes so that even if she wanted to, Miss H cannot fire up any apps.
- With the exception of the scenarios I laid out earlier where we’ve gotten a bit off course, Miss H knows that screen time is a special occasion and something that we will offer from time to time, not something she asks for or should expect.
- We watch shows and movies with Miss H as well as play iPad games with her. Together we can talk about what she’s watching and playing – what lessons we can learn from the Daniel Tiger episode or what letter that is on “Endless Alphabet.” Otherwise she we just completely zone out, a little too transfixed with the screen.
Without really sitting down and talking it through, Mr. H and I have set some pretty good ground rules in our home for screen time. And yes, just like most everyone else out there we get a little off track from time to time but having some guidelines in place has helped us get things back under control with Miss H’s interest in a screen outweighs her interesting in building with blocks, playing outside, or wildly dancing around the house.
Do you have screen time rules/guidelines for your home?
grapefruit / 4361 posts
Clock fairy!! Too cute!
grapefruit / 4800 posts
We’ve had the same experience with screen time and temper tantrums. So we do the same – no watching for a couple days. They don’t tantrum about not watching on the days there’s no TV though, I think she just gets too pulled into her TV worlds it’s hard to snap out of.
kiwi / 549 posts
As a general rule, we don’t allow any screen time. Our exceptions are for hair cuts (I don’t know how to keep a preschooler still otherwise, and I cut X’s hair), nail trims, and truly horrible doctor stuff– so far, just blood draws. And I’ve noticed even that results in so much asking for my phone that I’m terribly annoyed for days. (X does not easily forget things.) avoiding the demands and tantrums is one huge reason I’m ok with our heavy screen time restrictions. So I get what you mean!
persimmon / 1096 posts
I guess, so far, I’m lucky. I have no problem allowing screen time, but LO1 has never tantrumed about it (he’s 27 months). PBS Kids is usually on for an hour or two in the mornings, but he mostly busies himself with his blocks, cars, and other toys and only perks up and watches when a song comes on or something like that. I use it as a good distraction while taking care of LO2’s feeding and napping schedule, so it’s been a lifesaver when I can’t be fully engaged in whatever LO1 is doing. But like you, I’d have no issue going cold-turkey if it became a source of fits and frustration!
blogger / nectarine / 2043 posts
I sadly don’t have much control over screen time because Baby C’s daycare gives them a fair amount of it to keep them organized. Which sucks, but it’s not a deal breaker for me with all the other benefits we get from being there. We rarely have the TV on at home, though, and when we do, she usually plays with toys anyway, and the only times the iPad/phone show up is on longer car trips. We’ll see how it goes as she gets older – right now it’s not a huge issue for me and doesn’t seem to be having any negative effects.
grapefruit / 4923 posts
we were using the ipad and youtube videos of mr. rogers and daniel tiger when LO was going through a phase of waking up around 5am and we needed an extra hour or so (not that it was restful because he kept pushing the wrong buttons. lately though, we are pretty strict about no videos because he throws a tantrum after watching even a 5-minute youtube clip of a snowblower (don’t ask, he loves it) and we try to cut him off. it wasn’t worth the tantrum.
guest
I’m really glad for this post. I do allow screen time but my daughter also gets a little crazy for it, and we have to ease up. It is good to see the tantrums or asking constantly for it is a regular thing and finding a healthy balance for your child can be hard but as long as we are thoughtful as parents about their exposure I think we are doing the best we can.
guest
Like keepcalmcarrie we’ve been lucky and don’t have behavioral problems with screen time. At 30 months the ipad has still managed to be for infrequent occasions and even when she does ask to use it, it holds her interest for 10 minutes and then she moves on.
We do more tv (maybe 2 shows a day or the occasional movie on the weekend), but limit the content options. It’s 99% Daniel Tiger or Umizoomi and we try to be there when it’s on to talk about what’s happening. When it’s turned off, she’ll sometimes pout, and ask why but we explain we don’t want to watch too much tv, and then distract her and she just moves on. I’m sure the other shoe will drop at some point, so holding onto our nice balance as much as we can for now