Hellobee

I’ve been getting a lot of questions about our new life in the Philippines! So I asked some of our bloggers and hostesses for questions, and thought I would answer them in an FAQ blog post.

The rural (non-resort) side of the property we live on.

How are you making sure the kids stay with NYC curriculum? What’s your tutor teaching versus what you guys are teaching? Do you have a classroom space set up? Do you have set hours?

We will be homeschooling, and hiring a teacher to help. Mr. Bee is teaching the kids for now, but we plan to hire a teacher soon for approximately 4 hours each morning. We will have a learning space, but I think learning will look very different here than the traditional classroom setting in the US.

We plan to tailor reading, writing, math, science, and art lessons around their specific interests to make learning more engaging and fun. For instance, the kids love hermit crabs, so one day we did a unit study all about them. First, we watched a hermit crab episode from Wild Kratts. Then we did an arts and crafts session, and drew hermit crabs and labeled all their parts. We transitioned to science and went into the ocean and collected lots of hermit crabs (and starfish and clams and sea snails!), and observed the crabs’ behavior, appearance and habitat. Then we counted them and did some math exercises involving adding and subtracting crabs (we used empty shells).

We want them to develop a curiosity and love for learning, and that’s more important to us than the actual subject matter right now. Charlie is only a first grader, but we realized after we moved here that he had been burning out on elementary school already because his school was pretty academically rigorous, and he didn’t get enough free play. Here the kids will have tons of free play daily since school will only be 4 hours. Mr. Bee will be writing a lot more about all this in a followup post. We’re still figuring it out and I’m sure there will be some trial and error, but we’ll be sure to share the process!

What do the local children do on the island for schooling?

There are public schools on the island but there is a monthly tuition in addition to the cost of uniforms. The tuition is very low, but unfortunately some kids aren’t able to afford it so they do not attend school at all. It’s heartbreaking, and we’re looking into what we can do to help.

How are Charlie and Olive adapting? Do they mention ‘home’ (nyc) a lot? Did they cry when they said goodbye? 

The kids have been here every summer for the past four years and we visited just 2 months before we moved here, so they were fine with the idea of moving. Each of their classes had goodbye parties for them on their last day of school and made them super sweet photobooks. They didn’t cry because they knew we would be returning some day (time is still a pretty abstract concept for them). We were so busy with preparing to move that we didn’t have much time to prepare them for the transition. They did see that we got rid of things daily over the course of a few months (including all their books and toys), but they handled it all very well.

We’ve been here exactly a month now, and they’ve yet to mention that they miss New York! Charlie says he prefers living here (because of the whole school burn-out thing). We’ve actually been shocked how seamless the transition has been so far, but both kids have always been pretty adaptable to new situations. They’ve been getting along incredibly well even though they’ve been together 24/7, and seem to have accepted that this is their new normal.

Because the kids have more unstructured time here, Charlie’s reading has also taken off. He loves to read to Olive, and we have to take books away from him at night because he will easily stay up and read over 2 hours by flashlight if we let him!

What do the kids do for fun there?

Even though they’re home every day, there is lots to do because we’re surrounded by nature. The tropical sun is very strong in the daytime so they usually play in our cozy two-bedroom house. Mr. Bee’s mom also had an outdoor playhouse constructed for them right next to our house, and they have their Legos and a hammock in there. Luckily both kids love to draw so much that they spend countless hours a day drawing.

The play house

Just before sunset, we usually visit the resort with the kids and spend time with Mr. Bee’s parents as an extended family. The kids can play in the ocean around then when the sun is low. We also have a blow-up pool (purchased on a recent trip to Manila), swings, a lot of land for them to run around on, 2 yorkies, 2 pigs, a garden, and endless animals to watch and catch including crabs, frogs, lizards, dragonflies, etc. Since Mr. Bee’s parents rent out cottages to tourists, there is a lot of staff and guests from around the world. There is no such thing as a furniture store here, so there is always some type of construction going on because the on staff carpenters build everything from chairs to houses. Right now they’re building a 2 story house for some of the staff that live on site. Watching the daily progress is great fun because they do everything from scratch, including making individual cinder blocks from a mold.

We try to go an adventure once a week, like island hopping or to a different beach. The kids never tire of playing in the sand or the ocean, and some of the most beautiful beaches in the world can be found here.

Snake Island is their favorite island. It’s a sand bar that connects two islands, and the water is so shallow you can just walk across.

A clever banana-stealing monkey, a cat, and a family of 4 dogs live on Snake Island

Finally we’ve kind of adopted 2 of our neighbor’s dogs. We’ve known Alko (the black dog) since he was born 2 years ago because his mom belonged to Mr. Bee’s parents. He knows us because I always fed him when we visited and he spent most of his time on the resort. Once we moved here, he started visiting our house every day with his sidekick Brownie. Brownie is pretty emaciated and you can see all his ribs. He is beta to Alko and just stands aside as Alko eats all his food. He is a really sweet dog that never begs for food, but I always feed him double what I feed Alko and stand guard so that Alko doesn’t steal his food!

The challenge though is that many dogs wander through our property, and it’s hard not to want to feed them all, especially since many are so skinny. But if we did that, we’d quickly have dozens of dogs daily. As an animal lover it’s hard to see that dogs are not spayed/neutered so they are constantly having puppies and don’t get enough to eat. But there is a lot of poverty here (the Philippines was 29th in the world hunger index last year behind Iraq), so it’s even harder to think about all the children not getting enough to eat as well.

What do the kids love the most? Miss the most?

Both Charlie and Olive love the beach and Olive loves all the animals.  I’m sure at some point they will start missing their friends because they haven’t had much interaction with any children since we’ve been here. I’m so glad that they have each other and that they’re so close!

I think the single thing that would make the transition easier for them is if they had the foods they loved back home here. They are pretty much subsisting on rice and pasta right now, as we introduce them to the local fruits and vegetables here.

What will you do for holidays/gifts/birthdays, as shipping is so challenging/not existent?

Friends have been asking me for my mailing address, and they are usually surprised when I tell them that there is no reliable mail service to the city where we live. We can’t have anything shipped here.

In some ways it makes things simpler because you have no options here in El Nido. In other ways it makes it harder because there are certain things we need that we have to travel to get. Visiting friends and family will bring us things over the next year. We can also drive up to Puerto Princesa, the island’s capital about 5 hours away, which is a much bigger city where most things we need are available. I just went up there this week and picked up a birthday present for Charlie and Christmas presents for the kids. But the kids (and we) are just going to have much less here than we did in the States.  It’s a simpler life, but so far the kids seem to love it!

Are you hoping the kids assimilate/learn and adapt to the language and culture fully?

I’m sure the kids will pick up some Tagalog and I plan on learning as well, but everyone speaks English here so it will be harder. I think it may also depend on whether their teacher speaks Tagalog. Charlie and Olive have been attending Korean school for the past year and I know how difficult it is to learn a second (or third) language when you’re not completely immersed in it, so learning Tagalog is not necessarily a priority.

Filipinos are very friendly, warm and polite, and they love children. Charlie and Olive are welcome everywhere they go! They can be a little shy in new situations, so I do hope they embrace the warmness of the Filipino culture. Mr. Bee and I are introverts, and I think this is an extroverted world for them to experience.

What bills do you have to pay?

We have fewer bills here than we had in the States. In terms of utilities, we pay for electricity, internet, cooking gas (purchased in propane tanks), cable tv (which works with prepaid monthly sim cards), and cell phones (also prepaid sim cards). Our running water is well water that is pumped into our own water towers, so we do not have to pay for water, but there is sediment in it. This is the water we use to wash dishes and take showers. We purchase filtered water from town to drink and to cook with, but it’s reasonably priced.

Our biggest cost is actually food! A lot of things are way cheaper here, but food is about the same price, especially because El Nido is a tourist destination. Food in the more rural parts of the island is more inexpensive.

baby duck eggs

How are you integrating into the local culture/making friends?

I plan on taking full advantage of everything the island has to offer while we’re here, trying out new restaurants, going on excursions, staying at different resorts, and befriending locals in the process.

There is a decent sized ex-pat community in El Nido. Some are here permanently and run tourism related businesses like scuba stores, but there are also younger ex-pats in their 20’s from America and Europe that are here temporarily. Because most Filipinos speak at least some English, language won’t be a huge barrier for us to making friends with locals.

We also love chatting with guests at Mr. Bee’s parents’ resort from all over the world about their travels (many take a year off to travel around the world), and getting their tips about the best off the beaten path destinations. We are pretty isolated here since Mr. Bee’s parents’ resort is a 10-15 minute walk from downtown El Nido, and we’ve also been busy settling in so we haven’t had much time to relax yet. Mr. Bee and I are both introverts without high social needs, but I’m sure at some point we’ll start to get a little lonely. We definitely miss our Brooklyn friends!

How are your kids integrating into the local culture/making friends?

I think it will be tougher for the kids to make friends since they’ll be homeschooled. They’ve made friends in the past, but the ones that are around during the day tend to be the ones that don’t attend school and therefore don’t speak English (English is taught here starting in the first grade). So there tends to be a language gap during school hours.

The local kids are very interested in us because they’re very friendly and interested in foreigners in general, and there isn’t that much to do for the kids who aren’t in school. Once we befriend local kids, they usually want to come over every day which was fine when we were visiting. Now that we live here, we’re figuring all that out.

So far, Charlie and Olive don’t seem to be getting sick of each other yet and fight way less here than they did in New York! We know a lot of local Filipino families nearby (from all our visits to the resort over the past 4 years), and will start to reach out more as we settle in!

What’s the best part about living there and what’s the hardest?

The best part of living here is being so close to nature (there is even some science that says the closer you live to water the happier you tend to be, which is definitely true for me). I feel much less stressed here than I did in Brooklyn, due to the slower pace of life. We have no morning rush out the door, or rush to do anything pretty much. Having less to do, less things we own, less people to meet means we have a much simpler life.

Filipinos are very friendly and warm, which makes it a lot easier to assimilate. Plus they love children. On Snake Island, we took the kids up a steep hill to see an amazing view of the area. On the way down, without us even asking, some friendly Filipino tourists helped lift our kids down past some tricky rocks on the mountain trail. That would never happen in the States, where it’s rare for anyone to touch someone else’s kids without asking the parents for permission first. Here, everyone looks out for each others’ kids and it’s assumed that we’ll all help each other out.

There is some petty crime here, but violent crime is very rare. I feel very safe, though I can’t say that I feel the same way about Manila where I’m always a little wary. The Filipino people are extremely hard working, always striving to provide better futures for their children.

The hardest things I’ll go into in a separate post!

What have you learned to live without and what new things you live with now do you love?

We’re learning to live without a lot of the foods that we used to eat!

The reduction in variety has been fine for me and Mr. Bee, but it’s been really hard on the kids. Neither have ever been good eaters but I’ve been able to get them to eat a good range of healthy foods through dogged persistence over the years. But most of their favorite foods are not available here — broccoli, cauliflower, asparagus, brussel sprouts, peas, sweet potatoes, berries, salmon, cheese, etc. It will be hard getting them to adopt a new palate since they hate trying new foods, but they will have to!

We’ve made changes to our diet too. For instance Mr. Bee loves apples but his mom pointed out that they are expensive here and also imported (and therefore not fresh). She suggested that we should live more like the locals, which means eating bananas and mangoes, but particularly bananas because mangoes are expensive. So we are trying to live more like the locals, and eating local fruits and vegetables! I’ve actually discovered that I love eggplant. I never cared for it that much — probably the texture of it. But we’ve been eating eggplant by the truckload here and it’s a great meat substitute and very filling.

Was it hard for you and Mr Bee to leave, not knowing how long you would be gone?

Not at all. The impetus for coming here was to spend time with Mr. Bee’s parents, and initially we thought we would be here for a year or so. But once we decided to get rid of all our belongings and talked about what an adventure it would be to live abroad, it didn’t make sense to go for less than 2 years. I also love adventure and change, so I was on board right away. We’re obviously in a unique situation that makes living abroad easier since Mr. Bee’s parents are basically locals at this point. But it’s something we’ve always wanted to do, and the kids are a good age for it so why not?

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I hope this was an interesting glimpse into our new lives here in El Nido! Coming up I have interviews with local moms about being a parent in the Philippines, as well as a day in the life post and home tour. If you have any questions, please feel free to leave them in the comments!