When I decided to become a teacher, one thing I never really expected was how much I would learn about life and parenting from my career. As a teacher, you have a very personal insight into a ton of different families and family dynamics, and it has always been fascinating to me to see the different patterns and how situations can affect students. Once I became a parent, I started to study what I noticed much more closely – I saw every interaction I had with parents in a new light, because I had a much deeper understanding of what they were going through and how they felt.

I’ve tried very hard to internalize what I have observed and learned over the years, and to apply it to my parenting style with Jackson. Here are 10 of the things I’ve learned about being a parent from my job as a teacher:

1) Every day is a fresh start. No matter how rough things are with my students one day, the next day has to be a blank slate or else we’ll never get anywhere. This is so applicable to parenting as well – I try to look at every day as a “reset” and not dwell too much on issues or struggles that we had the day before. Having this mindset really helps me avoid getting too frustrated with behavior issues, and it helps me to have a positive attitude most of the time.

2) You really do know your child best. I’ll admit – there have been times where a parent would tell me something about their child and I just flat out did not believe them (mostly, this was before I was a parent myself!). However, over time I have learned that the vast majority of the time, parents really do know their children inside and out, and most of our instincts about our kids are spot on! There have been some situations where I have made significant progress with students just because I listened to the hunches their parents had about certain behaviors, and it paid off. So now, no matter how outlandish I might think a parent is being when they tell me something about their kid, I try to believe them because it has been proven to me time and again that parents know what they are talking about. This is a great confidence-builder for me when it comes to raising Jackson – I trust my instincts and I go with my gut, and I’m usually right! Of course, there is a flip side to this…

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3) As parents, sometimes we have a major blind spot. Sometimes there are things that we don’t want to be true about our children, so we have a hard time believing that it is. We all have weak spots when it comes to our kids, and sometimes we willfully ignore what is sitting right in front of us without even realizing we are doing it! I see this all the time as a  teacher, and it helps me to be more mindful of Jackson’s struggles and the areas where he isn’t perfect – it’s important for me as a parent to see and understand all of him, not just the parts that I want to see.

4) Manners are vital! Even the biggest troublemaker in class is instantly a little more endearing when they respond to your requests with a “yes ma’am.” I fully plan to teach Jackson to open the door for people, use “ma’am” and “sir,” and to always let ladies go first from a young age. I know some people feel that these kinds of manners are old-fashioned, but I’m okay with that! At school I’m always very impressed by the students who go out of their way to be polite to others, especially adults, and I’d like for Jackson to be one of those kids.

5) What you do at home matters. Often as an educator, you can tell the difference between students who have families that spend quality time together and students who have a tough home life or one where they never see their parents. Even in families where the parents work long hours or have to travel a lot for work, students have a completely different demeanor if their parents spend time with them when they are around – it’s definitely a “quality over quantity” kind of situation. This is so encouraging to me to see as a parent – it reminds me how important it is for us to get in quality time as a family even when things are busy, and it helps me to know that the time we do spend together will very likely make a big difference for Jackson as he gets older!

6) Kids really do want your affection and time. Even the older ones. Even when they act like you’re the most annoying human on the entire planet. They thrive on it. Don’t let the eye rolls and loud sighs deceive you. Kids need time and attention from their parents, and they often start to act out if they feel like they aren’t getting it. This is something I’ve really only come to fully understand this year as I’ve been teaching high schoolers for the first time, and it’s something I will always carry with me – especially when Jackson turns 13 and suddenly wants nothing to do with me!

7) Don’t believe everything you hear. I’ve had to remind parents on occasion that if they’re going to believe every little thing their kid tells them about me, I’m going to start believing every little thing I hear about them, and neither of us wants that to happen. I’ve learned it’s so important to remember that kids sometimes exaggerate, and sometimes they just don’t have a full understanding of what the truth is. This has taught me to take just about everything a kid tells me with a small grain of salt and remember that it may not be the full truth (even if they truly believe that it is!).

8) They’re capable of so much more than you know. This is something I learn over and over and over. It’s so easy to assume that because our kids are too young or they have a certain disability that they aren’t capable of achieving certain things. But you will never know if that’s actually true until you try. Because of this, I have had pretty high expectations of Jackson in terms of what he is capable of doing. That doesn’t mean that he gets in trouble or that I’m disappointed if he doesn’t meet those expectations, but it does mean that I give him an opportunity to do things that I originally may have thought he couldn’t do. For example, one day when he was just under a year old, I randomly decided to teach him how to throw his diapers away and put his dirty clothes up. I had no clue if he would even understand what I was telling him to do, but he did and he’s been doing it ever since – and now he can clean his entire room!

9) Don’t compare your child’s development to another child. SERIOUSLY. Don’t do it. It’s a waste of your time, energy, and stress. It is highly unlikely that your kid will go to kindergarten still wearing diapers, sucking a pacifier, and sleeping in a crib, so don’t stress if your child is running behind other kids their age in accomplishing developmental tasks. If your pediatrician isn’t worried, you shouldn’t be. Promise. This continues to apply as they get older. Kids are different. Don’t worry.

10) Kids are gross. Theoretically, I knew this before becoming a teacher, but I have to say that the teaching profession definitely prepared me a little better for the disgusting things I would have to deal with as a parent. I now know that it’s not just my little snot-monster, all kids have perpetual runny noses, dirt under their nails, and aren’t afraid to lick anything that comes in their path. It’s just a kid thing. It builds up their immune system. Let it happen…within reason, of course.

Has your job ever taught you anything about parenting?