Hellobee

I’m a big fan of the reset button. Whether a new year, new season, a Monday, I’m always open to a redo. A redo, a reset, is different from a new way of living.  New presents a challenge for me. I get too focused and too attached, so much so that when I stray from the new I fall apart and begin to get really bummed. I can, however, handle a cleanse like a champ and then change my habits from that point. A cleanse has a visible (read, not too far off) end point. The main point of the cleanse is to be flexible and see it as a learning experience.

Eli and I recently did a bit of a screen cleanse. While I have no issue with watching movies as a family, utilizing the iPad as a babysitter so that I can get some rest or dinner made and using my phone to stay in contact with a myriad of people and using Pinterest to help me redecorate — our screen time use had been creeping up and was having some adverse effects on our family.

Reasons for the Increase:

• My pregnancy-induced exhaustion had me relying on screens for extra rest and a bit of peace and quiet.
• The weather was changing rapidly, and not in a positive way. I love the heat and can handle cold, but rain that cuts through my clothes makes me want to hibernate.
• The flu hitting each member of our family, leaving us exhausted and miserable for about 10 days.
• Visiting family that brought out a screen anytime Eli wanted one, plus an incredibly long road trip.

A little too much screen time to get through some less than ideal circumstances is not a major problem in my book.  The breakdown in behavior is what really made me question our use.

Behavior Issues:

• Tantrums every time we tried to turn off the tv or take away the iPad. I mean full blown, fall apart tantrums.
• Too much screen time was affecting my ability to rest. Screen time gave my body the illusion of rest, but not the sleep that my body so desperately needed and craved.
• The sleep issues weren’t just for me, though. Eli began sleeping terribly. As embarrassing as it is to admit, he also began waking up in the middle of the night and asking to watch specific shows. Hello red flag!
• The lack of sleep and constant overstimulation were leading to exhaustion and behavior problems that had Eli whining for attention and me wanting to avoid having to actually parent. A vicious cycle that we had to break.

After Eli’s nap one day, we were busy making sugar cookie houses as a family, cooking together and playing and no screen got turned on. It was just what I needed to kick myself into detoxing from our abundant screen use. The next day we officially started our cleanse.

First day, no screens. Eli asked to watch his shows and asked for my phone, requiring me to play and respond to him quicker and with more eye contact. This day was all about play, reminding Eli (and myself) that we didn’t need the constant technological distraction. While he was asleep, I allowed myself to scroll through Instagram and check in with any necessary correspondence.

Second day, very similar to day 1. Only the requests for tv became more infrequent and he was routinely going off to play independently. He also began sleep better!!

Third day, watched a show (not a cartoon) together as a family. While Eli whined at first about wanting to watch “his tv” he danced and ended up playing and enjoying the show, while not being completely immune to everyone else in the house.

Fourth, Fifth, Sixth days, allowing some small amounts of tv time. These were the days that I worked and I understand how at the end of the workday, my husband needs to be able to zone out for a bit. We noticed the biggest change comes over Eli’s behavior when he is watching youtube on the iPad and wanted to make sure that interaction was minimized the most. I also loosened up my individual screen time rules and began watching a show with my husband after Eli’s bedtime and using my phone more frequently.

Seventh day, we started allowing Eli to look at pictures and videos on our phones again. The kid adores watching himself and family members and he had learned at this point that our phones were for that purpose, not for youtube.

.  .  .  .  .

The takeaway? Guys, limiting our screen time had such a massive impact on our family. Eli once again became the fairly obedient and regular sleep scheduled kid we knew him to be. I stopped watching meaningless videos and using Facebook as a news source. I was more rested and managed to still parent and run my household. We spent time playing in the snow and taking sledding walks around our neighborhood, getting that much sought after winter time vitamin D. Going forward there are several things we would like to keep in place:

1. No Facebook app. Facebook is mainly full of garbage for me and removing it from my home screen has made it so that I check it every couple of days and don’t hang out there falling down internet rabbit holes.
2. Carrying a book around. I pull out my phone anytime I’m not immediately occupied or entertained just to waste time. Carrying a book around makes me conscious of the habit and ensures that I will get more reading done this year. Win-win.
3. Check blogs on a rotating basis. Not every blog updates every day and I don’t need to read them everyday.
4. Instagram and Pinterest only get checked twice a day (sad, but I still struggle with this!).
5. Consciously watching a movie or show with my husband – not show, laundry, cook dinner, phone scrolling.
6. Podcasts or music on as background noise instead of the tv. Eli and I sing and dance together while cleaning or playing.
7. Eli has to accomplish things before watching tv. Breakfast, play clean up, then a show.
8. Schedule our days so that Eli and I aren’t struggling to fill up the day.
9. Ipad is super limited  It gets brought out, but only in a “we NEED some time kind of way,” not a “it would be convenient to not deal right now.”
10. Get outside and get in the kitchen, two sure-fire ways to get us both engaged and do something productive.

To be fair, this is our ideal situation and every day is different. We don’t have a limit on time with screens, more just an idea of what we would like to happen beyond the television set. Also, setting the tone for honesty: we have both been sick while the worst snow storm in 30 years has hit our little town so these rules have gone right out the window, but we at least have an idea of what to head back to.  Any changes you’re making in your screen time?