Hellobee

We’re almost over the 4th trimester hump. I’m elated that I can say that! Yes–the cold nights are still as difficult as I remember, particularly between 2-5am! But with each doctor’s visit, I’m shocked at her incredible growth and progress. Baby Pencil was born 6 lbs and 8 oz, but now at 2 months she’s almost 12 lbs! She often gets mistaken for a 3 or 4 month old. Some things she’s been doing at 2 months:

• improving tummy time… and even liking it!
• being awake for about 45 minutes at a time (versus 15-20 minutes in the first month)
• cooing and smiling more often
• having better eye contact and following movements with her eyes
• clearing up her baby acne
• having one long stretch at night (approximately 6 hours but sometimes 8-9 hours!)

From what I remember with Toddler Pencil, she is a much easier baby! I remember the insane rocking and shushing we did on the yoga ball in the wee hours of the morning with Toddler Pencil. He would fuss to the point where we would have to wiggle the pacifier in his mouth until he “took” it to calm down. But with Baby Pencil, she does things I only heard about from other angel babies. She would just kick around and coo by herself for 20-30 minutes on the play mat! Sometimes she would just fall asleep lying there and I would be watching from a distance in amazement. Wow… some babies just do that!? If I could have babies like her all the time, I would have way more!

I think it was actually a good thing that Toddler Pencil was such a difficult baby because it conditioned me to a level of torture I could have never achieved otherwise. Ok – that sounds really bad, but I’m sure some mamas with difficult first-time babies know what I mean! Anything after my first experience would be tolerable because I had been through it before. Because I was so nervous the first time around, I tried to tell myself that certain things didn’t matter this time. Along with my second attempt at breastfeeding, I told myself that I would not freak out every time the baby cried or obsess over timed feedings. I actually finished what I was doing before attending to her crying. I am such a different mother this time around!

One perspective another second time mom told me was that she felt very sorry and thankful to her first born child. When we had our first child, we didn’t know how to be a mom. I resonated with that so much, because I felt like I did everything wrong! I remember feeling lost and had absolutely no “mother instinct” whenever people asked me questions about the baby. I felt so unqualified to raise another human being. I learned the hard way how to love and care for my baby. But by the time the second kid came around, I felt much more comfortable as a mother. I feel very thankful to Toddler Pencil for helping me learn how to be a mom – and I’m sure Baby Pencil is grateful too! I love seeing the connection a family has with the good and the bad of parenting. It is a difficult but beautiful journey being able to have a family. I feel so honored to be able to have this experience!