Hellobee

When Juliet started kindergarten this year, I imagined smooth sailing for her. Unlike Drake who went from a private preschool to kindergarten in one school, and then onto first grade at a larger elementary school, Juliet stayed at the same school where she had attended preschool for two years. I figured she would feel so comfortable since she already knew the school, was just down the hall from her old classroom, and Fiona was going to be in the same school for her afternoon preschool class.

On the first day of school when I dropped Fiona off, Juliet’s class was going to lunch at the same time so the girls got to see each other. It was such a nice surprise for Fiona to see her big sister and give her a hug before her first day. Compared to what Drake had in transitions, I figured this was going to be a breeze for Juliet.

I started to notice Juliet seemed less than enthused about going to school, however. In her preschool days, she was always ready to go in the morning and happy coming off the bus in the afternoon. She would chatter nonstop about all the new songs, books, lessons, and friends she experienced through the day. School was always so much fun for her.

As the kindergarten year rolled on, I started to get a little push back in the mornings. Juliet is typically a very compliant little girl. But she started pretending she was sick by doing a little cough or pretending to be asleep when I came her room, though I had heard her singing and playing not five minutes earlier. After I brushed off her little antics, she would get ready and go to school. Still this was new for her and it stuck out in my mind. For the first time in years, she ended up having two potty accidents in school, coming home in spare clothing from the nurse’s office. Lunch also became an issue as many days her lunch would come home not eaten or barely eaten.

I tried to figure out what these changes meant. Then one day at drop off for Fiona, I saw Juliet on her way to lunch though she did not see me. When I saw her after school, I mentioned, “I saw you skipping to lunch earlier,” and her entire demeanor froze. She immediately told me she was not skipping; you aren’t allowed to skip at school and listed all the proper ways you had to walk down the hall including no talking, no running, no touching, etc. The whole incident left me a little caught off guard to see how violently she seemed to have taken my little statement and how firm she was with me about the rules.

It was then I started to wonder if perhaps there was a larger issue at play that needed to be addressed. After a little discussion with some family and teacher friends, I decided to send a little note to the school asking what might be the cause of Juliet’s newfound anxiety, as well as any suggestions they might have. The school was wonderful and I was worried that I had blown a mole hill into a mountain, but it did lead to some great ideas which I had never thought about before.

I guess I just assumed that because I had one child pass through kindergarten fine, that it would be the same for my second child. I hadn’t considered that Juliet is a much more sensitive and emotionally in-tuned child, much more than her brother for sure. She is a people-pleaser and rarely ever steps a toe over the line, whereas both her siblings skirt it with smiles on their faces on a daily basis. Somewhere along the lines from preschool to kindergarten the rules, which she had absolutely followed in preschool, were laid out in a way that made Juliet more anxious. That led to her fear of getting in trouble to overwhelm her. Kindergarten is now full day too, which is a lot longer than her 2 1/2 hour preschool days were, so she had to behave for a much longer period of time. Together both of these things seemed to make her less enthused about school.

Thankfully her teacher understood how to address this issue with Juliet on a one-to-one basis. She explained that the general rules were not simply directed at her alone, and consequences would only occur if she was not listening, and not if others were not listening. Coupled with some ideas of helping her cope with her anxieties like a worry doll, deep breaths, and letting her know what the results would be if something bad did happen, Juliet rebounded quickly and now is excited for school again.

This experience gave me some new insight as a parent, helping me to realize that each of my children are clearly different, and will face the world ahead of them with their own weaknesses and strengths. Just because Drake has never worried about a test in his life does not mean that Juliet won’t. I am so thankful that the school system she is in was so ready to help us navigate these new waters.

First Day of Kindergarten