We gave Noah a bath the other night (we call it “tubby time”), and I was astonished to realize how much he’s already grown. He has this cute basketball belly and chub. I about cried from the cuteness, and just stared at him with love as he basked in the glory of the warm water.
Later that night as I was getting changed, I spotted myself in the mirror and sighed. My body just looks so different than it used to. I have an extra 20 pounds on me right now. My stomach muscles are totally blown out so that when I don’t suck it in, I look 5 months pregnant. My boobs have become saggy beings compared to how they used to look. And worst of all, I have stretch marks all over my belly. I had them before, but not this bad. I have a genetic predisposition to them… but I did put stretch mark lotion all over during my pregnancy (to no avail!). They surround my belly button in a sort of spider web-ish pattern. In truth, it makes my belly look like it’s hairy. The total effect? My belly looks like the hairy pot belly of an old man. Sigh.
I slumped off to bed and stared out in the darkness. This body of mine has been through a lot. It seems like yesterday I was 21 and fit. My body was slim and tight and I totally took it for granted.
I wish I’d enjoyed it more.
As I lay there on my back, I placed my hand on my squishy soft belly. I felt a slight disdain, but I also felt something different… a sense of pride and love. My body has given me my precious children and I am so grateful.
How could I feel anything but good about my body?
I thought back to Noah’s tubby time, and how I looked at his sweet little body with such love and joy. I thought about my own mother, and how she must have felt the same way when she looked at me in the tubby all those years ago. She probably still looks at me in that same light? I would never want Noah to look at himself and think he’s anything less than perfect no matter what. I realized right then that I need to look at myself with love and joy the same way my Mom does. The same way I look at Noah.
It’s funny how the lessons from motherhood open our eyes to so many things we’d never considered before. I appreciate my body and love it for what it is. (But I don’t have to like the stretch marks!)
Is there anything you see in a different way now that you’re a mother or mother to be?
cherry / 116 posts
My friend told me that stretch marks fir a momma should feel like an honor badge or as I saw on an ad once “well earned stripes”.
GOLD / olive / 65 posts
@redboots: I suppose so. I guess it’s just that they are so bad and make my entire belly look furry. Oh well!
pomegranate / 3053 posts
Yes, I am not “as” concerned about my looks b/c I know I can always change it later on when I’m done with having kids. Of course, it’ll take lot of work and food sacrifices (I say this b/c I LOVE good food) but it’s do-able. And, like you, whatever “mark” it had left will be a good reminder of what an awesome feeling it is to be able to have kids and be so happy to have them in your life. Every time I look at my 34-month-old I just want to hug and kiss him for all the happiness he has and continues to give me. And I’m sure I’ll feel the same when #2 comes around (which is soon!). I also then look at my Mom who has had three children in a row (we’re all a year apart) and with stretch marks and wish I look like her when I’m her age. She’s 5’4″ and a size 4, 6 at most! How awesome is that being over 60 years of age?
honeydew / 7968 posts
well, i’m just glad i was never a bikini person. =) so far, i don’t have the “after”, so i guess we’ll see. but i wanted these babies so bad, i (hope i) don’t care how i’ll look….as much.
GOLD / olive / 65 posts
@tequiero21: Yes! Thank goodness for one-piece bathing suits!
kiwi / 718 posts
I’m 39 weeks right now & have just gotten stretch marks on my belly in the past 2-3 weeks. I’m just thankful I got a couple of super cute one pieces last year before I found out I was pregnant. yay cute one pieces!
grapefruit / 4120 posts
This is so sweet. And maybe I’m hormonal LOL. But it’s true, now I understand why my grandfather kept telling my mom (even when she was like 50) that she didn’t need to wear makeup — she was beautiful without it! I never want my babe to think he’s less than or not good enough somehow.
admin / watermelon / 14210 posts
love this post! i’m going to try to think this way every time i look at my flabby belly.
guest
Over the last two years I have gotten used to my stretch marks. I had twins and carried them to 37 weeks. I developed pre eclampsia and gained an extra 30 pounds in 3 weeks (all water) during that time I got stretch marks down my arms and all over my torso from chest to hips, and all down my legs. It was kind of funny, when I found out there were two in there I was prepared for stretch marks but about a month post partum I was trying to find a dress for my cousins rehearsal dinner where I was the matronof honor, and I saw the ones down the back of my legs for the first time. I sat in the dressing room and cried because my legs looked like they had lightening streaks down them. My mom came in and talked me down ( I’m blaming some of it on hormones) and I got over it. Now they don’t bother me. This body is the mother of four wonderful kids it has stretch marks and extra weight (which I am working on) but its nothing to be ashamed of.
hostess / wonderful watermelon / 39513 posts
@sloaneandpuffy: aww, what a sweet Grandfather!
blogger / pomegranate / 3201 posts
I definitely wished I had enjoyed my prepregnancy body more! I’ve never had great body image (even when I was at my thinnest I wasn’t happy with my body – I look at pictures now and realize how crazy I was) and prgnancy has certainly made it even harder to feel good about my body, but I am starting to appreciate the changes. Mr. TTT is also great about telling me how cute or beautiful I look pregnant, which helps a lot.
grapefruit / 4120 posts
@mrs. tictactoe: Can I just weigh in (so to speak) on this? Before I was pregnant, I was very slim and didn’t appreciate it. Then, when I was pregnant, everyone told me I looked cute, and I never believed them and I felt like a huge whale. Now that that’s over and I look back at pictures, I did look pretty cute! So I guess the grass is always greener… or, we could always look worse? LOL. Anyway I encourage all the ladies to appreciate what they have, although I know that’s hard!
blogger / pomegranate / 3201 posts
@sloaneandpuffy: I agree! I sometimes think I look cute pregnant, just like I sometimes thought I looked good when I was thin. However, I do think I am far too critical of myself and I have to constantly keep those thoughts in check.
persimmon / 1465 posts
The belly is the difficult part for me. It’s so …soft! Then I have to remind myself WHY it’s soft. DH doesn’t care, he thinks I look great/sexy/awesome. It’s different to before not worse.