By a few days after I ovulated, I knew that this wasn’t our month. I just felt it deep down. I wasn’t pregnant and was just biding my time until the next cycle, so I could get down to business on the “It’s Business Time” August POAS thread on the Boards. I really had no symptoms to make me question my intuition. We had a string of company during the two-week wait starting with my brother, and ending with Mr. Blue’s parents and sisters. Not only did we have company, but I was ending one job and getting ready to begin another one. I told my mom at the end of the first week that I was just exhausted from all the activity, I just wanted to cry, and didn’t have time to stop and do anything about it.
On Monday and Tuesday of last week, I didn’t have to work and spent the days with my 16-year old sister-in-law. Even though I had just told my in-laws my body wouldn’t really sleep in anymore, I somehow managed to sleep until 11:30 on Monday morning, which I seriously haven’t done since college. Thankfully, teenagers are always sleepy, so my sister-in-law didn’t mind sleeping in either. We all laughed about how late she and I had woken up, and I knew my body really needed to recover from all the craziness of our life.
That night, I took a pregnancy test just in case so we could tell Mr. Blue’s parents in person if it happened. It was stark white. I told Mr. Blue that I had been right, and it wasn’t our month. Mr. Blue wrapped his arms around me, and I cried. We were both really bummed, but trying to stay positive about the next month.
The next day, I slept until 10:30 and met the family for lunch. That morning, I posted on the July POAS Board:
“I’m unofficially out because (1) I am absolutely convinced I’m not pregnant. I don’t know why, but I just know I’m not. (2) I got a BFN yesterday on 10-12 DPO (unclear of exact O date), and (3) have PMS symptoms flaring up. I’m bummed.”
My in-laws headed home at 1:30, and I was so tired that I decided to take a nap. I woke up at 3:30, and I knew I needed too rush around to get ready for a happy hour we were having for a friend who was moving. I ran to jump in the shower and on a whim, I decided to take one more test before I went and had a drink. I didn’t even wait to look at the test. I just laid it on the side of the bathtub and took a shower. When I finished, I remembered the test and held it up above the curtain to get some light. I froze. Was that a super faint second line??
I wrapped myself in a towel, crouched down right there in the bath tub and gripped the test, while alternating between crying, laughing, and whispering, “I think I’m pregnant!” I finally pulled myself together a little more and ran into my bedroom to tell Blue Dog that I thought she was going to be a big sister. I was super concerned about whether the second line might be an evap line because when I say it was a faint second line, I mean faint. So, I posted this photo on Weddingbee on my old account to get some feed back:
Some of our lovely ladies from Hellobee even weighed in on their Weddingbee accounts (Thanks, ladies!):
@Running Elley: “I see pink in the second line so I’m leaning towards BFP! Evaps usually don’t have color!”
@Highwire: “Pink, pink line. BFP. Congrats! I couldn’t get digitals to show up positive when my line tests were this faint, FYI. If the digital still says not pregnant, don’t give up!”
With comments like that, I knew what I had to do. I had to try to take a digital, so I threw one in my purse to take when I had a chance to hold it for a while. Yep, that means that I was planning on taking a digital pregnancy test . . . in a bar. I felt like mother of the year already, but I had to know.
I arrived at the appointed locale and carefully drank my diet coke while telling everyone I was coming down with something and couldn’t drink. I could barely follow the conversation because all I could think about was that I might have a Little growing inside me. I was just mumbling answers when I had to and silently praying that this was really happening.
About 3 hours after the first test, I decided it had been long enough, and I slipped away from the table. I went to the restroom, took the digital, and paced in the handicap stall while I waited for the results.
Cue more tears, which by the way, pretty much have not stopped since then. In that moment, I became a mother. All I could think of was this little one growing inside me and how I would do anything to protect this growing life. By the time I came out, everyone was ready to go. I got in my car and started planning exactly how I would tell Mr. Blue that he was going to be a Daddy.
I am especially thankful for the supportive community on Hellobee during this special time in our lives. You have been here from the beginning, before we even started TTC, and have flooded me with support, encouragement, and laughter. I have so many friends, both in real life and online, that are waiting to get their BFPs. I wish everyone that is TTC your sticky baby soon!
Stay tuned for Part II: Telling Mr. Blue!
hostess / wonderful persimmon / 25556 posts
Hoooray!!! Congratulations, @Mrs. Blue!!
pomelo / 5720 posts
Congratulations! Wishing you a healthy happy 9 months!!
GOLD / papaya / 10206 posts
I’m so excited to see this post first thing in the morning!!! Hurray for the Blues!!
cantaloupe / 6397 posts
Yay!!!!! I’m so excited congrats to the Blues!!
blogger / pear / 1964 posts
Congratulations! So pumped for you!
I have a sixteen-year-old sister-in-law, too, and they’re the best.
grapefruit / 4079 posts
Congrats!! HUGS!! Here’s to a happy and healthy 9 months!
GOLD / wonderful coconut / 33402 posts
Congrats!!!
blogger / pomelo / 5361 posts
@Mrs. Tricycle: Aren’t they?!?! Mine are 16 and 18, and they are so funny. Love!
hostess / eggplant / 11068 posts
Congratulations!!!!!!!!!!!
coffee bean / 37 posts
Woo hoo!!!!!!! Congratulations!!!!! Can’t wait to find out how you decided to “propose” pregnancy to Mr Blue!!!!
grapefruit / 4770 posts
I’ve been waiting for this for you! Congrats!!!
hostess / wonderful grape / 20803 posts
Great news!! Congratulations!!
pear / 1786 posts
Yaaayyy!!! I was hoping for this since you had not reported AF on the boards!!! Congrats to the Blues!!!!
pineapple / 12793 posts
Congrats!!! When you posted that you were convinced you were out, I knew you were PG, that’s how it was with my bfp. So so happy for you and Mr. Blue!
blogger / wonderful cherry / 21628 posts
Congratulations!
GOLD / wonderful pomegranate / 28905 posts
OMG – how exciting! Is that not the best feeling??
honeydew / 7504 posts
Congratulations, Blues!!
wonderful pomelo / 30692 posts
Yay!!! Congratulations!!!!!
GOLD / papaya / 10166 posts
Oh so exciting!!! Congrats
clementine / 958 posts
Yea!!! Congratulations!!!!!
cantaloupe / 6730 posts
Yeahoo!!! Congralations!!
guest
Congratulations!!
hostess / wonderful watermelon / 39513 posts
Congrats!
persimmon / 1491 posts
Yay!!!! I am do excited for you. Congratulations!!!
GOLD / pomelo / 5167 posts
I’m sooooo happy for you!!! Congrats!
blogger / pomelo / 5400 posts
So exciting Many congrats and hopes for a smooth pregnancy!
GOLD / wonderful coffee bean / 18478 posts
Wonderful news, congrats!!
cherry / 101 posts
Congrats!!! Can’t wait to hear about how you “proposed” pregnancy to Mr. Blue!!
guest
Congratulations. Good thing you doubled checked before heading out for a drink
GOLD / wonderful apricot / 22646 posts
Congrats!!! YAYYYYYYY :D:D:D
hostess / wonderful honeydew / 32460 posts
CONGRATS CONGRATS CONGRATS!!!
GOLD / cantaloupe / 6581 posts
That’s amazing!! I saw your post about how you thought it wasn’t your month and I’m SO glad you were wrong lol!! Happy & healthy 9 months to you and your new LO!!!
blogger / wonderful cherry / 21616 posts
Ooooooooooh my gosh!!!!! I have been rooting for you since I joined. You have noo freaking IDEA how excited I am for you!!!!
Congratulations a bajillion times over!!! Wooooo!!! Can’t wait tofollow your pregnancy journey
grape / 75 posts
amazing news!
kiwi / 553 posts
Congrats! When I got my BFP, I had NO symptoms and was totally convinced I was out of the running! Gotta love how the mind plays tricks on you!
blogger / eggplant / 11551 posts
CONGRATULATIONS!!!!
GOLD / eggplant / 11517 posts
Yay!!! Another one here who had zero symptoms before the BFP and was sure we were out for the month. Congrats again! So happy to decode a test. I love looking at faint BFPs, is that weird? LOL.
admin / wonderful grape / 20724 posts
So exciting!!
grapefruit / 4187 posts
Hooray, Congrats to Mr. & Mrs. Blue!!!
blogger / nectarine / 2687 posts
so, so, so happy for you! can’t wait to hear more about baby blue as the months go by!
apricot / 275 posts
Congratulations!
p.s. I love that you took the pregnancy test in a bar
guest
CONGRATS!!! Can’t wait to follow the next part of your journey
cherry / 141 posts
WOHOO! I’ve so enjoyed following your journey on the blog and the boards! CONGRATS!
bananas / 9357 posts
CONGRATS! Wish you happy & healthy 9 months!
cantaloupe / 6206 posts
OMG CONGRATS!
honeydew / 7916 posts
Congratulations!!
hostess / watermelon / 14932 posts
Congratulations!!!! Cannot wait to read how you told mr blue!!
cherry / 237 posts
Congrats! I had a similar feeling about not being pregnant the month I got knocked up with our son!
cherry / 170 posts
I’m reading this on the table at Physical therapy for my ankle and tears are filling my eyes and one just dropped down my cheek and it is so awkward and I dont care. This is so awesome!! So many congrats to you and your growing family!!
GOLD / wonderful pea / 17697 posts
Aw yay, congratulations! I was 100% convinced I was out the month we got pregnant, too!
pomegranate / 3225 posts
Congrats! There is just nothing like getting that digital test! So happy for you!
pomelo / 5178 posts
Yay, congrats!
kiwi / 711 posts
Congratulations! I can’t wait to read how you tell Mr. Blue.
pineapple / 12053 posts
yay! i posted on your WB thread!! congrats!!!!
nectarine / 2530 posts
I nearly cried as I read your post. Super-congrats!!
cherry / 186 posts
Congratulations!! Best type of blog post to read on a monday morning!
kiwi / 614 posts
Congratulations!!!
clementine / 750 posts
Yay. Congrats.
grapefruit / 4923 posts
what wonderful news–congratulations!!
hostess / papaya / 10540 posts
Yay!! Congrats!!
GOLD / squash / 13464 posts
Yesssss!!!!! No longer a TTC blogger! So happy for you and Mr. Blue (and Blue Dog!)
olive / 59 posts
CONGRATS!
And this…”In that moment, I became a mother. All I could think of was this little one growing inside me and how I would do anything to protect this growing life.” BEAUTIFULLY WRITTEN!
blogger / pomelo / 5361 posts
Thank you all! I read all your comments all day even though I was stuck in a work deal that prevented me from responding. Your support and excitement make me giddy all over again!
grapefruit / 4649 posts
I am so happy for you!!! Congratulations! I can’t wait to hear more!
hostess / wonderful apple seed / 16729 posts
Congrats!
olive / 52 posts
Congrats!! So happy for you. Reading your story brought tears to my eyes…for some reason it made all of the emotions when I got my BFP come rushing right back. Looking forward to hearing about your journey. Congrats again!
cherry / 128 posts
Yayy! congrats!
coconut / 8681 posts
Ahhhhhhh congratulations!!! I KNEW that was a BFP and I still love that you tested in a bar So exciting that it was you!
bananas / 9229 posts
OMG, I don’t know how I missed this post!!! CONGRATULATIONS!!!! I can’t wait to read future posts especially from a fellow attorney
honeydew / 7968 posts
i must have missed this!!!!!!!!!!! CONGRATS! saw somewhere that you were pregnant so i was looking this post up! looks like i missed a lot of posts!