Hellobee

Describe a typical day in your life.

6:35 AM – I wake up and begin getting ready for work.

7:00 – 7:20 AM – I used to go get Baby Checkers from her crib, change her diaper, and get her dressed for the day until I quickly learned she will not go to anyone else if I get her in the morning.  She makes much less of a fuss about me leaving for work if my sister-in-law or my mom gets her in the morning.  These days she usually wakes up at 7:10 AM.  This gives me some time for hugs and play in the morning before I have to leave.  She is generally used to the routine now, so when I leave for work, she gives me a hug and a kiss and waves bye-bye.

7:30 – 4:30 PM – These are generally my work hours on most days, but some days I work longer depending on if we are in a busy season or if a crisis is thrown my way.  My days are filled with meetings, student appointments, parent meetings, emails, phone calls, and various projects.  I had already weaned Baby Checkers by the time I went back to work so I never needed to pump there, although I do not imagine it would be a problem if I needed to pump at work.

4:30 – 5:15 PM – I try to go straight home, but if I need to run any errands I generally sprint through them and try to get home.  Baby Checkers takes a late afternoon nap (usually between 3 – 5 PM) and every now and then I can catch her at the tail end of her nap and be the one to get her from the crib.

She still enjoys sleeping in the fetal position.

5:15 – 5:50 PM – I will whip up something in the kitchen that is quick, easy, and healthy.  If there is something I’m trying to make that requires a lot of prep time, I’ll try to prep everything the night before since I am so strapped for time when I get home from work.  My go-to meals are usually a protein paired with rice and a veggie/salad or pasta and a salad.

5:50 – 6:20 PM – Baby Checkers LOVES food.  She is a human vacuum, and I swear the food goes into the abyss.  Once she is fed, she is the happiest little girl.  Can you tell?

6:20 – 7:30 PM – Play time!  We do a number of different things after dinner because Baby Checkers is an active little girl and becomes restless very easily!  We spend our time singing songs, dancing, reading books, playing with toys, and when the weather permits (which is about 85% of the time in Southern California) we go outside for a ride in her car or I’ll let her run around freely.

7:30 – 8:15 PM – We start Baby Checkers’ bedtime routine with a bath.  After her bath, we’ll give her a little milk in her straw cup, read some of her favorite books, and give her a little more play time.  Then I have her say goodnight to Mr. Checkers, and head upstairs for some wind-down time with my little girl.  I cuddle with her in the rocking chair, we say a prayer, sing a few songs, and when she is ready to go in her crib she’ll ask for Pooh Bear.  Then it’s time for Mama to go.

8:15 – 9:15 PM – CLEAN.  Has anyone else become neurotic about cleaning after having kids?  No?  Just me?  Once Baby Checkers goes down for the night, I make a bee-line for the kitchen, pack up any leftovers, do the dishes, wipe down the table, clean the floors, clean up any stray toys, clean/fold laundry, and pack lunches for me and DH.  This is on a good night.  Some days I just pass out on the living room floor at 8:30.

9:15 PM – 12 AM – MOMMY TIME.  Time with DH.  Veg.  Read.  Write.  TV.  Phone calls.  Emails.  Social Media.  hellobee.  Shower.  Sleep.

And then repeat.

Has your work schedule changed since you had a baby?

No.  I was fortunate to take a longer maternity leave, so when I returned back to work I came back at 100%.  Since Baby Checkers was a little older (about 5.5 months old), I felt comfortable doing this.

What is your childcare situation?

We are very blessed to have my mother and sister-in-law around to watch Baby Checkers.  Our original plan was to enroll  Baby Checkers into daycare when I went back to work, but my mom retired early and offered to watch her.  My sister-in-law is in graduate school and moved in with us a couple months after Baby Checkers was born, and she was also free to watch Baby Checkers during the day.  How could I resist?  It has been the perfect situation for me, and knowing my baby was in the hands of two awesome ladies and FAMILY, I was able to leave for work worry-free.

How do you juggle work/family/spouse/personal time balance?

Someone once told me that you can have it all, you just can’t have it all, all the time.  Long before I was pregnant, a colleague of mine had shared that as a working mom she never felt like she could give 100% to any one thing.  I’ve found this to be true to some degree, and inevitably there is always some self-imposed Mommy guilt (I think all of us moms feel this way, regardless of whether we are a SAHM, WOHM, WAHM, etc.).  What I’ve learned in this past year is to give myself a little more grace than I am used to, to give my very best in each of these areas in my life, and to let go of the things out of my control.  DH and I try to sneak in a date night here and there, and I have to be intentional about spending time with my girl friends – usually I pick a favorite place that is non-kid friendly where we do not have to worry about feeding another person and eating a cold meal.  Maybe there is alcohol involved.

What advice would you give to other moms about the work/family balance?

It IS possible to have a career AND be a great mom.  You just need to find what routines and rhythms work best for your family.  Be kind to yourself.  Do not spend time comparing yourself to other moms – it is pointless and a waste of time and energy.  DO find a couple of moms whom you trust and build relationships/connections with them – I am the first one to admit that I need help, support, and encouragement and believe it really takes a village to raise a child.

What is the hardest part of being a mom?

Letting go.  This could mean so many things.  Letting go of control, which is both 100% freeing and terrifying at the same time.  And letting go of my baby.  One day, if I’ve done my job right, I will need to let her go completely.  It will begin with pre-school, then Kindergarten, then college, and perhaps marriage . . . it is such a joy to watch her grow before my very eyes, but heart-wrenching at the same time because the time goes by incredibly fast.

What is the best part of being a mom?

The best part is that I am Baby Checkers’ and she is mine.  Every day I am amazed that part of my DNA is locked into this beautiful little girl, and I wonder how I came to be so blessed.

What three words describe you as a mom?

Learning by doing.

What do you like to do in your personal time?

Everything mentioned in the 9:15 PM – 12 AM time slot.

If you had an entire day off, how would you spend it?

Brunch by the beach with my family.  Then there would be shopping involved, great food, one-on-one time with DH, time with my girl friends, I would get a pedicure, a massage, have time to sit and read and write at a local coffee shop . . . we are talking about 48 hours in the day, right?