While stay-at-home parenthood definitely has its perks, some of the upsides of being home with Little C have a surprising downside that comes in its wake.  Not schlepping on my morning commute in rush hour traffic is wonderful, and not being obligated to dress up for anyone makes for easy mornings, but sometimes looking like a bum trapped in my disaster-zone of a house during nap time isn’t so great either.  Not being obligated to make small talk with colleagues at the water cooler is refreshing, but having no adult interaction some days has its downfalls as well.

Here are a few tricks I have found help me keep my cool and feel like I’m on my A-game as a SAHM:

1)      The Three Minute Sweep

One of the biggest changes that comes with being a stay-at-home parent is how much time I actually spend in my home.  I never noticed how much time I spent away from home when I was working before I had Little C.  Between eight and ten hours each week day working and commuting, evenings out with friends, and plans on the weekends, I was home just long enough to eat breakfast, eat dinner, maybe watch a bit of television and go to sleep.

Now, being home with Little C full-time means that our apartment is being utilized much more.  We eat most of our meals at home.  Little C spends quite a bit of time playing on the floor, climbing on our furniture, and exploring every nook and cranny of every space below my knees in our entire apartment.  Messes are made, every speck of dirt becomes more evident (especially as Little C masters his pincer grasp), and generally speaking, by the evenings, without a little bit of intervention, our home looks like a pint-sized tornado has struck.  On top of all that, he is still taking two naps a day, which means that there are 2-3.5 hours a day where I am trapped in “nap jail” in our apartment as well.

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To maintain my sanity, I discovered the beauty of the three minute sweep.  When I put C down for a nap, my first step, even before showering or checking my email, is to fly through our place and to a quick tidying up.  I’m not talking about using cleaning supplies, busting out a vacuum or taking on any major organizing project.  For me, the semblance of order is enough to keep me calm in the midst of what can easily become chaos.


Before and After

Most frequently, my three minute sweep means tossing stray toys into our storage ottoman, putting the dog toys back in Kenzie’s bin, rinsing a dish or two and popping them in the dishwasher, hanging up our coats in the front closet and rinsing off Little C’s high chair tray.  All of that usually takes less than three minutes, and yet it makes my apartment feel livable again.  A few sweeps a day, and our place never seems too messy (although clean?  not so much…at least not always).

2)      The Three Minute (or Less) Make-up Application

Before having a baby, I almost never wore make-up.  Unless I was going out for a fancy occasion or had an important work meeting with clients, I rarely touched my make-up bag at all.  I was comfortable in my own skin, and didn’t really care what people thought of me.

While I can still say the same, I feel like I never knew what being tired felt like until I had a baby.  Little C, even with his fairly good sleeping habits, still has the occasional rough night, and even when we are all as close to well-rested as we can be, the exhaustion that comes from chasing around a speed-crawler all day (heaven help me once he runs…) can make me feel – and look – worn out.

Spending three minutes or less to put on a little bit of Bare Minerals foundation and blush and a touch of mascara does wonders for me, making my eyes look less tired and giving me a bit of color on my face that makes me look more alive.  I have been amazed at the difference it makes when I look in the mirror and see a lively face, even if the only people who will my made-up face are my child and my dog.

I was going to put a before and after picture in here, but honestly, it’s a minimal difference – I truly think this is more mental.  Putting my face on for the day is like putting on my game face for the challenging day again.

3)      The Three Minute Phone Call

Being a stay-at-home parent can be an isolating existence.  I have been fortunate to have made many new stay-at-home mom friends, and Little C and I have two weekly playgroups and two weekly classes that keep us busy.  But there are still days where I can spend many hours with no one to talk with (at least no one who responds with real words – dadadadada doesn’t count in this instance).  Especially on days where weather or illness thwarts our plans and we’re stuck at home, I miss that annoying co-worker who never stops gabbing about her love life or the banter in the office kitchen while half a dozen people wait to use the one microwave to heat up their Lean Cuisine for lunch.

On days where I am facing many, many hours with a whiny, clingy, or sick little dude, I take a moment for myself and make a three minute phone call.  Mr. Confetti, my mom and most of my closest friends all have full-time jobs, and can’t sit on the phone for an hour to listen to my sorrows, laugh about silly stories or just catch up on our lives.  But nearly all of my most supportive family members and friends can spare 2-3 minutes to say hi and chat for a bit.  Because I try to use nap time to be productive, and Little C has limited patience to entertain himself for more than 3-5 minutes for me to chat on the phone, those 3 minutes are the perfect brief snippet of adult interaction that tide me over until the evening.

My mom is usually the one who gets the, “How will I make it through the day with this crabby baby?” phone calls, and is happy to give me the one minute pep talk.  Mr. Confetti is less available on the phone during the day, but unless he’s in a meeting, he will answer and remind me how much Little C loves me, even when he isn’t showing it.  Just chatting about what’s new with a girlfriend can lift me out of a funk.

Stay-at-home parents, what helps you get through the day and keep your sanity?