Hellobee

While I was pregnant I read so many birth stories and found every single one of them helpful in some way, so it’s my hope that this will help someone else.

My induction was set for a Friday morning at 6 am. I was 41 weeks pregnant, and I could hardly sleep that night. Nerves and excitement jostled me awake around 3:30am, and even though I tried to keep calm and sleep on, I quickly discovered there was no way that would happen.

I was nervous because I had no idea what to expect from an induction. I heard and read so many different birth stories and they were all completely different. Some women had an easy-breezy delivery and others swore off ever having children again. For that reason alone, I didn’t have a birth plan. There were way too many variables for me to “plan” for that day. My unwritten “goals” consisted of: holding off on pain medication as long as possible, staying out of the bed as much as I could, and not having a c-section. I really, really, really didn’t want surgery unless absolutely necessary.

We drove the half hour to base and checked in, only to discover that we got there right during a shift change, and the base was having an exercise (basically, drills for war scenarios), so even though we were expected, nobody knew what to do with us. I also met the head nurse around that time and cringed a little bit. I had been doing NSTs twice a week for several weeks, so I knew a lot of the staff, and she was one of my least favorite nurses. Once she left I decided to put my opinions about her aside. I needed positive vibes that day and didn’t want her bringing us down.

9 : 3 0  A M

After four attempts, they finally got my IV going and around 9:30 am, they started me on 6mg of Pitocin, which was fine with me. The smaller the dose, the better! They wanted me to have five contractions within 10 minutes and once my body could handle that, they’d up the dosage. Less than two hours later, those Braxton Hicks contractions I’d been feeling for a couple months were kicked up a notch; I hit their five-in-ten goal, so they upped the meds. My body liked the 8mg, because I kept steady at their five-in-ten goal so well that they went up to 10mg just a half hour later. That, however, hurt…a lot. Around noon they brought it back down to 8mg, where it stayed for several more hours. I was happy that my body could maintain the contractions at the lower dose.

My husband doesn’t usually wear trucker hats, but that one was a gift from my dad that says “Father to Bee,” so he wore it on her birth day.

During that time, “nutritional medicine” came in with food! I had a plate with Jell-o, a tiny cup of beef broth (maybe like 4 ounces), a Popsicle and some juice. I wasn’t really hungry, but figured I should have something to sustain me for the next several hours. Over the course of an hour or so I had the broth and Popsicle, all of which I’d later regret.

A couple hours later I told the nurse I didn’t like that I needed to use the bathroom. She suggested I put on this belly band type thing to make the monitors portable. I went number one and then felt the need to go number two…so I went. It turns out that if you need to go number two while in labor you need to let a nurse know since the same feeling mimics how you push to get the baby out. Whoops. Luckily I really just needed the bathroom.

On the way out of the room I asked if I could stay out of bed for a while and try some of the techniques I read about to get through the contractions. I tried the yoga ball, but at that moment it was the absolute most uncomfortable thing in the entire world. I was there for a little longer than I wanted (mostly because I felt bad asking for help moving again!) and then moved on to “slow dancing” through contractions with my husband.

2 : 0 0  P M

Standing up and moving around was the most miserable feeling in the entire world. The contractions were just so strong that I couldn’t focus on anything, so around 2 pm I caved and said I wanted an epidural as I got back in bed. There went my other two “goals” for the day!

The base had three doctors and one midwife on staff, and that day, the midwife (my favorite out of all of them) was on duty. She came in (she had been in before the check me earlier) and talked to me about options. She knew I wanted to wait for an epidural as long as possible, so she mentioned another medication that’d basically take the edge off and help me rest. She mentioned it could work for up to three hours and I’d feel a little drunk. I hadn’t had a good drink in almost a year, so I was game.

Thirty minutes later I had my first “margarita” in nine months and could finally relax. The medicine kicked in quickly and I started feeling loopy, so I closed my eyes and napped for a little bit.

3 : 0 0  P M

A mere thirty minutes later I woke up with intense pain. The contractions were back (well, they never really left) with a vengeance. I tried working through them, by breathing and using relaxation techniques, but gosh darn-it, those things hurt! I wanted the good stuff and I wanted it now; I asked for an epidural.

5 : 0 0  P M

Around 5 pm my new best friend walked into my life in the form of the anesthesiologist. I already knew the drill when it came to epidurals (thanks to my lengthy chat with the Italian anesthesiologist), but she still had papers for me to sign and told me all the risks again. I had a contraction as she was telling me about the extremely slim chance of being paralyzed, and I told her to stick me with her giant needle. She got me all set up and I honestly don’t even remember being scared about the needle or the fact that she was poking next to my spine.

She handed me a button so I could administer the medicine as needed. (There was a cap on using it three or four times within an hour…or something like that…to prevent an overdose.) A half hour later I could feel the medicine flowing down my back and eventually the contractions started fading away…almost. I could still feel everything plain as day on my right side, so they had me turn on my side so the medicine could head in that direction. That helped a little bit, but there was still one spot on my stomach where I could feel every damn contraction. Still, it was better than feeling everything.

The nurse (a new one at this point, they had a shift change) came in and checked me for progress. Within an hour (they checked me before the epidural and there had been no change) I went from 4 cm to 7 cm dilated and I was 100% effaced. It was nice knowing things were actually progressing. In fact, just a half hour after they checked me, I progressed even more.

A nurse tech was in the room getting my blood pressure stats when we all heard something on the monitor that sounded like the baby leaped inside me. At the same exact time I felt something happening down there.

6 : 1 5  P M

“Um…I think my water just broke,” I said. Sure enough, at 6:15 pm, my water broke all on its own.

Just as my water broke, the contractions started intensifying and I felt the need for more of the epidural, so I pressed the button for the first time and felt more relief. I liked knowing that I was in control of how much I wanted. After they confirmed that my water broke, they also said they noticed that the baby already pooped, so things would need to happen sooner rather than later. Around that time I started feeling weird: I got very shaky and nauseous. The nurse tech smiled and said that was a sign that things were progressing and getting close. As happy as that made me, I really, really felt like crap.

7 : 5 0  P M

Feeling sick and feeling more pain, I pressed the button for a second time, and an hour later, I finally threw up the little liquid I had in my stomach. I immediately felt better, stomach wise, but I could tell things were getting more intense at this point. I was just feeling so much pressure and I started to get a little panicky knowing that I was getting closer. I had my husband read some Bible verses I prepared and the only one that stuck in my mind was,“I can do all things through Christ, who gives me strength.”

At 7:56 pm the nurse checked my progress and I was at 10 cm, 100% effaced, and ready to go. The nurse had me get into position and do some practice pushes so I could get a feel for what I was about to do. My midwife also came in to say that she’d be hanging around upstairs for when I was ready to actually push out the baby. She said that most first-time moms usually push anywhere from one to three hours, and since the baby went to the bathroom, they’d really like her out within three hours at most. There was an end in sight, which was hard to wrap my head around!

The next several hours are unlike anything I’ve ever experienced in my life. If you recall, I only pressed the epidural button twice, so the epidural started wearing off. During this stage of labor I could literally only think of one thing at a time, so even though I started hurting more, I didn’t even think to press the button again. To help manage the pain and get through each contraction, I moaned in a rhythmic pattern. I remember making the noise and being fully aware of how different I sounded; I knew I was moaning, but it didn’t sound like me at all.

At the beginning, I put my feet in the stirrups and started pushing that way. Getting the right technique for pushing took some time—I was using muscles I never knew I had, and I had to get my mind absolutely and completely focused. After about 10 minutes I knew I needed more leverage, so I asked if someone could hold my legs up. Some poor young (male) nurse tech had my right leg and my husband held up my left leg—I owe them so much for what they did! Little did they know then that they were in for the long haul.

8 : 0 0  P M

I started pushing with all my might. With each contraction I would push three times and hold that push for 10 seconds each time.

PUUUUSH two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten.

Relax.

Take a deep breath.

Get ready and go again.

PUUUUSH two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten.

Relax.

Take a deep breath.

Get ready and go again.

PUUUUSH two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten.

I did that scenario for three and a half hours straight, adding in a fourth and fifth push near the end. There was a point, towards the end, where I was so exhausted that I fought the natural urge to push and made my mind and body ignore the contraction, because I just needed an extra 30 seconds to regroup and rest. I’ve completed two half marathons and I can honestly say that labor was more taxing on my body than those events.

Everyone in that room was so supportive. The nurse would tell me that she could see my baby’s head basically bobbing back and forth and kept telling me I was doing a great job. But around 10 pm, after pushing with all my might for two hours, I started losing steam. I started pushing on my side, just to change things up and see if I could push better that way, but nothing changed. I kept hearing the same thing over again—that they could see her head and that I was doing great—but I couldn’t understand why I wasn’t making more progress. I literally couldn’t push any harder.

1 0 : 3 0  P M

My midwife came in to see where things stood. She told me that I was doing a great job at pushing, but the baby’s head was stuck behind my pelvic bone and she was turned to her side, making it more difficult for her to find her way out. She also said that, at this point, she was going to call the doctor to come in (he was on call and lived about 10 minutes from base), because if I kept pushing to no avail, the baby would need to come out sooner rather than later (because of the meconium, so time was of the essence).

Calling the doctor only meant one thing in my mind: a c-section. As a midwife, she couldn’t perform one, so if I needed it, he’d have to come in. Fifteen minutes later, she told a nurse to call the doctor. I was too exhausted to cry, get upset, or argue.

At one point, when I had half a second to breathe and recover from my latest contraction, the midwife asked if I wanted to touch her head. I said yes and felt my baby for the very first time. It was a surreal moment, but I was tired of her being in and just wanted her out! I started staring at the clock, knowing the doctor would arrive any minute. I knew they wouldn’t pressure me into having a c-section unless medical necessary, but I was just so tired that I knew I’d give in once I saw him. So I kept pushing.

My midwife suggested I change positions to see about rotating the baby better so that her head could slip past my bone. I was so fiercely determined to not have a c-section that I started pushing four and sometimes even five times during a contraction. Each time I pushed I amazed myself with the noises that came out of my mouth. Not sure if I had another push in me, I prayed for strength and repeated, “I can do all things. I can do this!” over and over in my head. The nurses were still counting for me, but since I hadn’t pushed the button for more of the epi medicine in awhile, I could absolutely feel when I needed to push, which is how I could add in a couple extra pushes per contraction.

Putting in extra effort started paying off and I could tell I was doing something good, because the Green Team (all the nurses and techs in there were wearing green scrubs) started getting louder and more excited with their encouraging words.

Then, all of a sudden, things started to happen.

The Green Team quickly started moving things around the room. I just kept pushing, literally holding on to the bar (and the nurse) next to me for leverage as my legs were still up in the air. I remember seeing my midwife put on an apron-type thing, a hairnet, and she changed her gloves. I thought for sure that something was wrong and that they were seconds away from wheeling me in for a c-section, but then she told me it was just about time for me to meet my baby. She said I managed to get her head out from under the pelvic bone, so I just had a few more pushes to go. I was completely shocked. I did it! I was doing it! I was seconds away from meeting my baby!

She said that with my next push she wanted me to push with everything I had and that it would feel like I was “on fire” down there. Then she said she wanted me to stop after I got to the ring of fire and try pushing slowly so they could make sure the cord was okay and to help with her shoulders, and all that jazz.

I told her I felt the urge to push. It was time.

1 1 : 2 7 P M

I pushed and instantly felt the ring of fire; I knew I needed to slow down… but I couldn’t. I was in such a zone and so in tune with my body that I just kept pushing. On the second push, at 11:27 pm, I felt immediate relief as my baby slipped out into the world.

I was speechless and in awe as they placed her gooey, brand new body on my chest. I said, “hello,” and kissed her little, perfect head.

Only her head wasn’t all that little. At the beginning of my morning, my midwife guestimatted my little one would weigh around 8 lbs. It turns out she weighed 9 lb, 2.7 oz. Crazy!

We enjoyed a little skin-to-skin contact before they whisked her off of me to check all her vitals.

I did it.

We did it!

Julia Grace, our little Bunny, was born at 11:27 pm and was 9 lb, 2.7 oz, and 21-inches long.