Hellobee

I spent the last 5 years working from home… and although it was the best scenario for me at the time, I was completely comfortable with the recent decision to become a stay at home mom. Since I had been working at my family’s business, I was given the trusted opportunity to work from home. It was especially nice being able to stay at home when I had intense morning sickness for the first 3 months. I can’t imagine going outside when I was in that stage! I absolutely commend all the working women who had to crawl to work with that intense nausea! When Baby Pencil was born I had so much intense guilt that it made working so difficult and distracting! I basically had this innocent face staring at me while I typed on a computer from 2 feet away:

“Work can wait… right?”

Being a WAHM meant:

• I could see, play and hug my kid whenever I wanted
• I would be distracted pretty much all day long
• I had to plan meetings and phone calls only at night or during naps
• I still had to cook, clean, and take care of the kid while trying to squeeze in work here and there
• It was nice being able to plan play dates, as long as work was squared away
• I felt like I was just half-working and half-being a mom 24/7 with no sense of boundaries
• I still looked horrible and hardly showered (yay)
• When asked “how’s work?” I never knew how to respond. Work was something I sort of just did all throughout my days, even on weekends. It kind of felt like going to meetings and managing work in your pajamas with a baby strapped to your back, babbling nonsense in your ear all day.

But since becoming a SAHM, I’ve realized it meant:

• I still feel just as guilty and sad that I don’t do enough
• I have a more clear sense of my duties since I didn’t have the lingering thought of work in the background
• I find 849,279 more things to do on my To-Do list (how did these get done before?!)
• I feel a little bit more pressure to do all the housework and cooking perfectly (which has nothing to do with my husband’s expectations)
• Hooray, I have more time!! More time spent on worrying and reading about diseases and the saddest stories on the news
• My time with my toddler isn’t as limited anymore, so I’m pretty beat being trying to be the best mom ever 24/7
• Cooking and cleaning straight up sucks
• I have even more pressure to work out… and Instagram has amazing mama + toddler workout videos you can do from home! (My current muse)

I go to the grocery store about 3-4 times a week! I used to love going with Baby Pencil, but now that there are 2 kids there’s no way I would drag two toddlers with me on purpose!

Since our transition to living with another family, we’ve entered our kids into daycare/school so I know I have it reeeeal good. I am literally a “home maker,” meaning that I am creating a home for all of us. Deciding where the dishes will go, finding out how to work the sprinklers, calling gardeners, researching dishwashers, putting up frames and so on. I feel just as odd and awkward doing these things as I did when becoming a new mom because these things don’t come naturally to me. I’m not good with home decor or know anything about home maintenance since I have been living in apartments for the past 15 years.

Now my kid is in school, my husband is working from home and I have the ability to focus 100% to my only job, which is to be a mother and a wife. I also have flexibility to be there when the kids get sick or if there’s an emergency situation. Between doctor visits, school interviews, grocery shopping for 6, doing loads of laundry, picking up and dropping off the kids I feel like I’m busier than ever. But honestly? It has been really good! So far I have enjoyed being a SAHM because I prefer busy work and being the one making all these decisions.

All of parenthood seems endless. At the end of the day, there will always be 30 more things to do. But just knowing my personality (I tend to get stressed very easily) I think this flexible, controllable environment suits me very well. I find time to wind down, breathe and simply enjoy the kids. I try to let the self criticisms roll off and try to make sure the rest of the family is also not getting too caught up with work. I’ve basically become the house wife of 3 adults (my husband, my sister and her husband) so it’s kind of an intense introduction to this lifestyle. I figured this is the perfect time to TTC… so that’s where we are now! Eep!

How was your transition from a working mom to becoming a SAHM?