We bought our house when I was about six months pregnant with M. It’s a 1950s-era build, hastily constructed during a military boom in our town, much like most of the other houses on our street. We envisioned moving in, painting a few rooms, and settling in with lots of time to spare before our baby joined us.
Then we actually moved in and discovered our home is like a terrible onion, and every layer peeled reveals some new kind of construction sin. The bones of the house are good, as they say, but when it comes to renovations, it literally needs to be brought down to the bones and rebuilt. There are no quick cosmetic fixes here!
So, back in 2013, we stepped into what would be the nursery, and started to pull down some built-in drawer units. Then the painted wallpaper fell off behind where the drawers had been. There was wood panelling underneath. It all kind of smelled terrible and looked awful and within a week, Mac Daddy had ripped everything out down to the studs. He’s an experienced framer, a self-taught drywaller, and an amateur electrician, and thus launched our first big DIY renovation project while increasingly-pregnant me pined over paint samples and felt hugely jealous of everyone with a move-in ready home.
That nursery was ultimately finished when I was around 36 or 37 weeks pregnant. The rest of our envisioned simple and easy fixes went firmly on the backburner for ages thanks to our mad dash to get M’s room done. Fast forward three years later and… here we are again. I’m about 36 weeks pregnant and surrounded in boxes with zero nesting done because I’m anxiously awaiting the completion of a DIY master bedroom reno that will let us move M into our old room, and free up the nursery for the latest arrival. It’s about as fun as it sounds!
Having been through the renovation drama twice now, I have a few tips for anyone else who may find themselves in the same situation:
Get the Basics in Place
Our upstairs bathroom has also been ripped down to the studs for about a year (again, as fun as it sounds). About halfway through my pregnancy I started to get really, really insistent that Mac Daddy at least install the toilet and the tub, because I could not waddle downstairs in the middle of the night anymore, and I could not deal with not being able to put M in a bathtub. So, while we have a really bizarre construction site aesthetic happening in that room now, it is at least meeting its basic functions. If you can do this kind of thing — make sure you have a place to cook if you’re working on a kitchen, make sure you have a place to sleep if you’re working on a bedroom, etc. — it is far less painful.
Have a Contingency Plan
We are really, really close to being able to shuffle everyone’s rooms around but for the past month or so we’ve had a backup plan in place — if the baby comes early, Mac Daddy is hauling a bunch of stuff to the basement, bringing the cradle to our current master bedroom, and everyone’s staying in place until things calm down and we can reboot the renovation.
Keep Perspective
My brain is screaming at me to get stuff done, to fold the teeny baby clothes, to scrub and clean and feather the nest. I have to consciously remind myself, when the anxiety takes over, that all my kid needs is a place to sleep. Lots of people don’t do nurseries right away, or at all. Cardboard boxes are not going to kill me. It could be worse.
Know When to Fold ‘Em
Back when we finished M’s room, the living room was next on our list and because of that, it was in total disarray during the three months it took to get the nursery in shape. Ultimately we had to recognize we were out of time, and shelve all of those projects until M was older. It meant that the living room was not very pretty, but it was liveable. In a similar vein, once Mac Daddy gets back to the bathroom renovation he’s likely calling in a contractor to rewire some electrical stuff because he doesn’t want to fight with it anymore, and calling in a pro will save us time (and prevent electrocution).
Make Time for Fun, Too
It’s easy to fall into the taskmaster role when it comes to renovations. Anxious me looms over my husband like, “GET THIS DONE YOU ONLY HAVE TWO MORE WEEKENDS TO GO.” And when the renovations have been stretching out for so long, it really feels imperative to just finally get it freakin’ DONE. But that’s not a fun way to live, especially for the preschooler in the house. So I’ve had to step back and remind myself that we all need to have lives, too, and it’s important to cultivate family time, and in the grand scheme of things nobody is going to suffer if we take an hour to run around outside.
Realistically, renovations while pregnant are kind of awful, especially when they’re long-term projects that take forever to complete. It’s not ideal, but it’s the situation that we’re in, and it’s ultimately worth it once it all gets done.
If you’ve dealt with renovations while pregnant (or with little kids in the house — that’s challenging too!) do you have any other tips?
hostess / wonderful persimmon / 25556 posts
I feel every feeling you mentioned above. I’m not pregnant but the deadlines (“I have girls night in 2 weeks!!”) and the part where you are hugely jealous of everyone with a move-in ready home. We recently went through a kitchen demo and reno (we demoed it) and doing that with a 4 year old around was tough. I can’t imagine doing it pregnant or with younger kids. Hooray for getting the nursery the way you want it, though! (boo for painted over wallpaper – what is WITH that??)
blogger / apricot / 482 posts
We were in the exact same boat! We moved in to our condo when I was 31 weeks pregnant. We thought we had plenty of time to do renovations…and then, at 32 weeks I had a placental abruption and was put on bed rest. Did I mention that we had no bed because we got rid of it in the move? Mr. Dolphin worked hard to get renovations moving because we were worried that the baby would come at any time (and did come early at 37 weeks). We did not have a good contingency plan and our home literally looked like a construction zone for the next several months.
blogger / clementine / 985 posts
@mediagirl: I am so scared of the kitchen renovation looming in our future! We might contract that out based on our ridiculous history, hah.
@Mrs. Dolphin: I’m scared this is going to happen to us — not the specifics, but I injured myself last week and now I don’t think I can really be a big help with renovations and I’m 36 weeks pregnant today!
blogger / apricot / 389 posts
Oh man, I feel for you guys. I didn’t really tap into that glorious clean the house nesting, but getting that nursery done was the one thing I had to do. It’s still a disaster in the closet and not perfect by any means, but it certainly settled my anxiety about feeling ready. I hope that Mac Daddy can get things done in time. I think the worst is when you want to be helpful, but can’t/actually don’t want to be
guest
I feel ya! We bought a foreclosed 1920’s-built Tudor revival in 2012. The structure and systems were solid, but everything needed to be updated aesthetically and the kitchen and both bathrooms needed to be renovated (one bathroom is original to the house and boasts “beautiful” pink wall and floor tile plus a pink tub, toilet, and sink!).
We used Baby #1’s arrival in early 2015 as impetus to get a 75% contracted/25% DIY kitchen remodel done… and finished it ten days before I gave birth.
Baby #2 arrived at the end of September and that meant we needed to make a master bedroom out of unfinished attic space and renovate the (non-pink) bathroom upstairs. Bedroom project was 60% contracted/40% DIY, and it will be finished as soon as some RE-ordered doors come in and we buy a new bed.
Our contractor is not available to do the bathroom until this winter, so with the extra time we’re saving up to make this project 0% DIY. Major DIY projects with two kids under two are impossible!
blogger / persimmon / 1225 posts
We loved while I was pregnant with Crumb and had mostly cosmetic fixes to deal with, I would be majorly stressed with major renovations! Hoping you guys get the basics done before baby arrives and some relaxing time too!