Turning 40 last year wasn’t really a big deal to me; it was just a number, and not a significant turning point where my life would now be different somehow. In fact I was even looking forward to it! My friend wanted to throw me a surprise birthday party, but Mr. Bee knew that was the absolute last thing my introverted self would want and quickly put an end to that idea. I hate the anxiety of a special event, attention on me, and the pressure of feeling like you have to have fun. So I ended up sending out a Facebook message to all my local friends the day of my birthday, and having a super last minute get together. We had everyone’s favorite local Indian takeout, drinks of course, and an acoustic musician that happened to be staying with my friend hosting the party. Friends dropped in and out throughout the night, which is easy to do in a small town. It was low key and perfect.
A lot has happened to me between 30 and 40. But the biggest difference is that I wasn’t yet a mother at 30 — I had Charlie at 31 and Olive at 32.9 years old. I think it’s safe to say that becoming a mom changes you forever. And when you’re responsible for keeping other humans alive, you got a lot to do… you don’t have time to worry about a lot of the things you used to worry about pre-kids. For example, I worry a lot less about what other people think of me and about things that I can’t change. I spend my precious free time with people I love and things I love to do. Sure I look older and never lost all the weight from having Olive. But I feel much more confident and comfortable in my skin at 40 than I did at 30.
That said, 40 has been bad. At least for me it has been, health-wise.
I’ve always prided myself on being healthy as a horse, very rarely getting sick But something changed when I turned 40, and I realized the full extent of it yesterday when I attended my friend’s watercolor workshop. I was supposed to attend the first one she hosted a couple months ago, but I came down with my first flu in years the day before. I was supposed to attend the second workshop, but I was hospitalized with dengue fever. The third workshop was yesterday and when she messaged, “See you tomorrow!” on Saturday night, I didn’t know if I could make it. I had stomach pain all day Friday and Saturday, and had just come from the ER suspecting that I had an ulcer. I almost couldn’t make three events in a row due to sickness.
For someone that’s used to getting sick once every couple of years, I’ve already been sick, and pretty severely, three times this year! On top of all that, shortly after turning 40, I started waking up with sore joints every morning. My knees, elbows, wrists and fingers hurt when I wake up, and they’re so stiff I have to walk like a penguin until I use them a bit. Many of my ~40-year-old friends are experiencing the exact same thing. I don’t know if something clicked in my body once I turned 40, and everything just started breaking down! Health-wise I may be at a dip now, but otherwise I feel pretty good about myself! Viva la 40!
Are you scared of 40? Looking forward to 40? Loving 40?
pear / 1565 posts
I am turning 35 this year; I’m definitely looking fwd to 40 b/c that would mean by 3rd would be 5 and all kids would be in public school, haha! I have so far spent the whole first half of my 30s growing kids!
pomelo / 5621 posts
40 will mean pre-school age & older kiddos. That I can look forward too.
The first half of my 30’s was baby and now the second half is too. I love my babies but am looking forward to the next stage.
blogger / apricot / 275 posts
glad you made it to the party. sounds rough!
pomegranate / 3272 posts
40 is fast approaching come the end of August. I have some friends that are having a really hard time with it and others that are completely fine. I’m somewhere in the middle. I think just having to say 40 will be tough and I don’t know why. It’s just a number. I think b/c I feel like a lot of my new friends that I’ve met through my kids are younger but who cares? But this year…..this year has been the worst in awhile. DH has been having some health issues and has finally made some hard realizations in his life that have definitely affected our marriage and family. I think all will be fine as he (and we) are dealing with it but man does it suck…..
pomelo / 5084 posts
I turn 36 in a month. When I really stop and think about that it freaks me out bc now I’m officially in my late 30s when I still feel like high school was yesterday??
That aside, I am looking forward to it. My wife is 12 years old than me so she’s already breezed through it. Our kiddo will be 7 and I hope we’re all healthy, traveling more, and living life!
GOLD / wonderful coffee bean / 18478 posts
I feel the same as you, Bee. I will be 40 soon. Everything’s great except for aches, pains, and other random health things. I had my 1st child at 30 so I feel like the last 10 years have been a blur. I am excited to focus more on myself in this next decade.
guest
My college friends and I have decided to take a trip for our 40th! Maybe it will be someplace close that many people would come to-maybe some place exotic that will require sun and umbrella drinks. Thanks for sharing your 40th-it’s been fun to read the comments, too!
guest
My girls are the same ages as Charlie and Olive but I am turning 45 in less than a month
I can’t believe I have been raising little humans for the past 10 years! I don’t have sore aches / joint but I worry more about any little aliment, not sure if it’s something more serious …. my girls are still young and I am an older mom so I want to be healthy and be around for them for a long time.
guest
Hi! I love your posts and website. So sorry to hear about all these health issues since turning 40 :(. As a rheumatologist, I’m concerned about the degree of your joint pains which sound abnormal even for your age. I suggest going to see a rheumatologist to get checked out to make sure you don’t have something treatable going on. Hope you feel better soon and have a better year!