Hellobee

Tuesday, October 4th

My stomach felt a little strange all afternoon, but I thought it was Olive’s position or some indigestion so I just went about my normal day.  I had to poop, and then felt an overwhelming need to take a nap.  I napped for about 45 minutes, but woke up around 4:45pm because I had a stomachache. This was the exact sequence of events with Charlie’s labor — poop, nap, woken up by stomachache.  The thought that I might be having contractions briefly flashed across my mind, but there was more than a month until my due date so I didn’t think I could possibly be in labor.

5:00pm – Picking up Charlie while in labor.

My stomach cramps were coming at regular intervals, but I thought they were probably just Braxton-Hicks contractions. Still I called Mr. Bee just in case I needed to go to the hospital.  Unfortunately AT&T has the worst reception in our neighborhood and I couldn’t get in touch with him.  My contractions seemed to be pretty regular and I thought maybe this was the real thing, but I had to pick Charlie up from daycare.  I emailed Mr. Bee and then texted him, “Where r u????? Call me asap!!!!!!!!!!”  Mr. Bee got my text, and called me back right away.  I told him that I thought I was in labor and to come home asap.  In retrospect I probably should have gone straight to the hospital with Charlie and met Mr. Bee there given how fast my labor with Charlie was, and this was my second child so the labor was probably going to be even faster.  But I wasn’t in significant pain yet so I thought I had a little bit of time, and I didn’t think I could handle wrangling Charlie by myself if my contractions got any worse.

I arrived at Charlie’s daycare and chatted with the teachers as if it were just another day.  As I was getting ready to leave, my contractions were painful enough that I had to pause to let them pass.   One of the dads noticed and asked if everything was ok.  I told him that I was having a contraction and that I was in labor.  He was shocked and asked me if I needed a ride home.  I didn’t want him to worry so I told him that I was in the early stages of labor, and that I only lived a block and a half away.

Charlie and I got home and I kept him occupied by playing his favorite youtube videos.  Meanwhile I downloaded a free contraction timing app.  My contractions were coming every 5 minutes, lasting 1 minute each, and they were getting stronger and stronger.  Just before 6:00pm, Mr. Bee finally arrived home.  He packed a couple of things for Charlie and the three of us got in a cab and headed to the hospital.

6:45pm – Arriving at the hospital.

By the time we got to the hospital, my contractions were so painful I could barely stand. It had been 2 hours since the contractions first started.  A security guard asked if I needed a wheelchair, and I said, “Yes!” so he helped me into one and pushed me up to the labor and delivery ward.  The receptionists in labor and delivery are always so brusque.  I’m sure they deal with frantic moms and dads every day, but must they move at a snail’s pace when all I could think about was how quickly I would be able to get my epidural?  They asked for my id and insurance card and slowly went about checking me in.  Luckily a doctor came by and told the receptionists to check me in immediately because I was in active labor.  One of them replied casually, “Oh she is?  Ok.”

I was wheeled into a temporary overflow labor and delivery room because no clean rooms were available.  I asked for an epidural right away.  The contractions were so painful at this point that I was crying through them.  Charlie was freaked out and kept saying,”Mommy’s crying.” A bunch of different nurses kept coming in and out of the room asking me the same questions about allergies and anesthesia and having me sign forms.  The on call doctor came in to check how far dilated I was – only 3 cm!  I couldn’t believe I was in this much pain when I was only 3 cm dilated.  I kept asking for an epidural and was told the anesthesiologists were on their way.

The anesthesiologists arrived around 8:00 and Mr. Bee wasn’t allowed to stay in the room while I got my epidural, so he left with Charlie.  Our babysitter had also arrived at this point so she took Charlie home.  The anesthesiologists explained that epidurals don’t always take the first time, and that it may take 2 or 3 tries.  I kept praying out loud, “Please work, please work, please work!”  I had to sit completely still through my contractions (which were coming every 1-4 minutes now) for 30 minutes while they administered the epidural.  The epidural takes another 20-30 minutes to kick in, and thank goodness it worked on the first try.  Sitting completely still while you’re having nonstop contractions is not easy.  But thinking about them having to start all over again if you move is incentive enough to keep you dead still.  Little by little the contractions got slightly less painful, until I could hardly feel them at all.

9:00pm – Deciding on a VBAC.

The doctor came in to check on my progress.  I was now 6 cm dilated.  I told him that I was originally scheduled for a c-section on Halloween, but he brought up the option of pursuing a VBAC since the baby was a month early, so she’d be on the smaller side.  Everyone that came into the room — my labor nurse, the cord blood nurses, the anesthesiologists, and the doctors were gently pushing me towards a VBAC, though they said that it was totally up to me if I wanted to get a c-section.  I was torn.  I had planned on a c-section, I knew what to expect with a c-section, and I was going to get rid of my scar with a second c-section.  On the other hand, the recovery with a vaginal birth is faster, the baby was small so it probably wouldn’t be as difficult, and I would be able to experience a vaginal delivery!

I’d read that if you push and then ultimately end up with a c-section the risks are greater than if you opt for a c-section from the get go.  But the doctor assured me that there was no increased risk if I pushed and ended up with another c-section.  I think my biggest fear with pursuing a VBAC was mental. What if I pushed and ended up with another c-section? I’d feel like such a failure when so many women around the world pushed out much larger babies, and without drugs at that.  I talked it over with Mr. Bee and decided to wait until the doctor rechecked me to make my final decision.  If labor was progressing well, then I’d probably go for a VBAC.

At 10pm I was 8 cm dilated, so I told the doctor that I was going to give a VBAC a try.  Shortly thereafter I was wheeled into a labor and delivery room.  My labor nurse was a soft-spoken woman, but very kind.  I had the meanest labor nurse ever with Charlie, so I was glad that I had someone nice.  I was so much more nervous about giving birth this time around because I couldn’t shake my fear of not being able to push the baby out.

October 5th, 12:50am  – Time to push!

By 12:50am I was fully dilated and my water hadn’t broken yet (it broke on its own with Charlie), so the doctor manually broke my water.  I didn’t feel anything, but he said that there was a lot of water!  At 12:55am I was asked to give three pushes, but the baby’s heartbeat was slowing down during my contractions.  They inserted a clip (I think it attaches to the baby’s head) to monitor the baby’s heartbeat.  I went through the same procedure with Charlie, so I wasn’t too worried at this point.  I switched positions to my right, to my left, onto my hands and knees, but the baby’s heartbeat was still slow, so at 1am they gave me a shot in my leg to slow down the contractions.

I gave three pushes at 1:10am.  My contractions had slowed down due to the shot, so my next contraction didn’t come until 1:19am, at which time I gave three more pushes.   These are Mr. Bee’s actual notes that he took while I was pushing!

1:23 three pushes, “halfway there”
1:28, three more, “bleeding, placenta tear?”
1:31, three more, “a bit closer”
1:33, three more
1:36, three more, “you can see the head”
1:38, three pushes, “that was much better, you are doing great!”
1:40, female doc – “first push is always best, try to make other two that good.” male doc – “I can see more head”
1:41, “you’re pushing much better. Perfect. Push just like that.”
1:44, three pushes
1:47, “that was amazing”
1:48, big pushes, mirror is in place to see baby. “I think you can do it in the next few”
1:50, “you’re having this baby with the next contraction”
1:52: wow!

Once Olive had descended low enough, they held up a mirror so I could see her head. I felt so much pressure down there that I wanted to push and get her out asap, but at the same time I was so tired and wanted to rest a little bit. The contractions were coming every 3 minutes, and I was pushing for at least 2 of those minutes, so there wasn’t much time to rest in between pushing.  But seeing she was so close to being born gave me the energy I needed to push with everything I had.  I don’t really remember it hurting significantly when she came out because it happened so fast, but my memory may already be a little hazy.  She started crying immediately, and despite being born a month early, she was perfectly healthy in every way.  They cut her umbilical cord, wrapped her in a towel and placed her on my chest before she was cleaned up.   The doctor didn’t ask Mr. Bee if he wanted to cut the umbilical cord, but that’s ok because Mr. Bee doesn’t like blood and I don’t think he would have wanted to cut the cord.  You can’t really tell in the pictures, but she was so teeny tiny, especially compared to Charlie who looked like he was a month old when he was born.  I couldn’t believe that I had just pushed her out of me.  She’d lived inside my belly for almost 9 months, and now she was laying on my chest crying, breathing in air with her little lungs.  It was the most surreal feeling in the world!

first picture of Olive Bee after the nurses cleaned her up

The labor process wasn’t over yet.  I delivered the placenta at the same time as Olive, though most women usually deliver it separately within 30 minutes of giving birth.  I experienced some bleeding during the labor because my placenta had separated — a potentially deadly complication.  But luckily I delivered Olive relatively quickly and she was fine.  Then came the stitches.  Considering Olive was so small, I was surprised that I had to get so many, and that the stitches were so painful.  It took a good thirty minutes for them to stitch me up, during which time I tried my best not to squirm because it was so uncomfortable.  I had an idea of what to expect with the labor and the recovery, but I definitely wasn’t prepared for how long it would take and how painful it would be to get stitches!

I had two doctors present during my labor — the attending, a male doctor, and another female doctor who was his junior.  The male doctor was nice enough, but he wasn’t very encouraging during the actual pushing.  He made it sound like I wasn’t making much progress and that I might need the assistance of a vacuum or forceps, or even another c-section.  At one point he even sat down on a chair across the room to rest while the female doctor took over.  The female doctor, on the other hand, was my biggest cheerleader.  She kept saying such positive and encouraging things, and that really kept me going.  She guided me on pushing the right way — I was putting too much pressure in my face, and I needed to push like I was taking the biggest poop of my life.  Once I was pushing correctly, it took three sets of three pushes of 10 seconds each to push Olive out.

I now understand why a good labor coach and doulas are so important.  It’s no wonder that women who give birth with a doula have a 50% less chance of having a c-section.  I think the female doctor was instrumental in keeping up my morale and helping me believe that I could do it.

My labor from first contraction to delivery was about 9 hours.  With Charlie, my labor from first contraction to delivery post c section (including 3 hours of pushing) was about 24 hours.  My experience with the VBAC was infinitely better, mostly because I had a great labor and delivery team.  I have no regrets about pursuing a VBAC rather than another c-section and wouldn’t have done anything differently if I could.  I think so much of the labor process is mental, and I was psyching myself out when I had it in me to do it all along.

Have you had a VBAC?  How was the experience different from a c-section?