Hellobee

I can relate to Mrs. Yoyo’s recent post on having two young children and still being in the weeds. A friend of mine said “being a mom of two kids is no joke” and that really hit me; it’s so true. Things are wonderful, but the first year of Summer’s life absolutely flew by faster than I thought it would. I’ve been so busy while time has been passing, and I feel like I haven’t had much time to reflect. These days my mantra is pretty much keep moving. I’ve sort of realized that when I get behind on chores, meal planning, errands etc., it amplifies and creates stress for all of us. As a mom of two, the biggest thing I’ve learned this year is prep work is key to keep on top of everything and avoid unnecessary stress for me, the kids and my husband. Here are a couple of other things that I’ve really learned to manage better this year.

Staggering naps. Alright, admit it — we all look forward to one of the most glorious times of day — nap time! I am aware of the brutal fact that some babies follow their own agenda and absolutely laugh at your “schedule,” and every baby probably has times of nap protest due to teething/overtiredness/other random problem, so this absolutely will not work sometimes. However, the best thing I figured out this year was to stagger naps so that they overlap. In the beginning, when Summer was really little she needed two naps so it was pretty easy to get both kids down around the same time in the afternoon. Ahh, some much needed downtime for me… until she dropped to one nap at 10 months. So after a bit of trial and error, I realized the best time to put her down was around 11:30am. Gemma could be persuaded to nap for a shorter amount of time if I put her down earlier than usual- around 12:30pm. This has been giving me 45min-an hour to eat lunch and rest, and has even moved bedtime up for both girls.

Combining errands. When you go from one kid to two, taking two kids in and out of car seats/shopping carts/carriers is pretty physically draining. I order a lot more online, do bigger grocery runs, and try to combine a few errands into one trip so that I don’t have to run out every day.

Prepping meals while feeding. My ideal is to have meals where I sit down, but right now that’s just not always the case. In general I get to have dinner as a sit down meal with the family which is really nice–when it works out. I use most of the time that the girls are eating during the day to cook. I make them meals and then when I get them seated, I turn on some music and they eat and laugh and I start cooking. At breakfast time I pack lunches while feeding the girls, and at afternoon snack time I prep dinner and they have snacks. Then Gemma starts helping me cook while Summer practices feeding herself. These are actually some of my best moments of the day; we all have a lot of fun and the kids enjoy trying new food and playing games in the kitchen.

Splitting time at the park. Now that Summer is walking, park play has become quite the challenge. The girls are both really adventurous, which I love, but having two going in different directions is such a challenge. I actually like to spend a lot of time outdoors so I don’t want to nix the park. I’ve realized I need to be more strategic about their play areas until Summer is a bit older. For instance, I try to go to parks that aren’t full of terribly high playground equipment; that way Gemma won’t be in danger if I am chasing after Summer. I also try to distract Summer with a snack or other game while Gemma gets to swing for a while. Basically, I am trying to give both girls their fair share of play that is age-appropriate without the other getting into danger. I also still use the ergo carrier a lot with Summer. It has worked well from the time she was born while chasing after Gemma.

This is also relevant for choices in splitting time for other age-appropriate activities throughout the day. I have learned to be more strategic about entertaining two with similar activities at the same time.

Letting go of my perfectionism. Sometimes things are just absolutely not gonna go the way I planned and hoped, and this becomes glaringly obvious as a second-time parent. There are more personalities, more tasks, just more more more when a family grows and there may not always be time to pick out matching outfits, blend up veggie smoothies or get the kids to bed at “bedtime.” I’ve learned to let go and enjoy a bit more of the chaos this time around and it’s been pretty refreshing.

I know there are a lot of intrinsic details I am leaving out of this post, but these are just a few that are sticking out to me lately as I look at my own growth this past year.

What have you learned or are you thinking about for the second time around?