It has been six months since I first told you about our family dynamic changing to one of a foster family. As often comes with fostering a child, our time has come to a close.
I have to be honest — when we were struggling through infertility, and then the adoption process, I thought to myself, “Surely, there is nothing more stressful.” And I was proven wrong. The last six months have been the most tumultuous months of my life…I would venture to also include this statement for Mr. Polish and Isaiah. Our world has been turned upside down, and even though we’re seeming to end up right back where we started, I know that our world will never be the same.
We’ve known for a few weeks now that our foster son (I hate calling him that, but for his privacy, and state law, I have to in public forums) is going to move out of our home. We’re waiting now for the official documentation before he moves, but it is coming. Since we found out, we’ve been pretty accepting of it. Really, what choice do we have? We knew this was a possibility going into it, and we really want to be so happy for him in his new situation, but the selfish part of us feels like part of our hearts is going out there without us. And it’s so painful because he’s just a baby.
I thought I was maneuvering through this fairly painlessly until I was out shopping with my mom, and we found Christmas stockings on sale. I don’t like buying decor of any kind because I don’t like having “things.” But these stockings were beautiful, and we don’t have any, so I decided to get them. I quickly made the decision that I would only buy three because he wouldn’t be with us for Christmas, so we made our purchases and left.
Then later, after the boys were in bed and I was enjoying the quiet of the house, the enormity of his leaving hit me. He doesn’t have one of our stockings. He won’t be here for Christmas.
He isn’t my child.
He is leaving.
And no matter how difficult this has all been, I love him as if he were my child. I hope that I’ve provided him with all I could have in the past six months, and I hope my love is something that he somehow knows will always be with him.
Because when he leaves, he’s taking part of me with him.
Fostering part 3 of 3
1. adopting through the foster care system by Mrs. Train2. Our Ever Changing Family by Mrs. Polish
3. Party of Three by Mrs. Polish
GOLD / wonderful coconut / 33402 posts
My heart aches for you. I can’t even imagine how hard this is.
blogger / pomelo / 5400 posts
Welling up here, Polish. He’s fortunate to have you guys.
pineapple / 12053 posts
I can’t imagine how hard that must be. You are amazing for caring for him during a time of need!
eggplant / 11408 posts
This is so beautiful. How amazing that you opened your heart and home to him. Hugs and peace to you.
blogger / pomegranate / 3201 posts
I can’t imagine how hard this must be. So many hugs.
bananas / 9229 posts
Oh ((hugs))…
pomegranate / 3401 posts
persimmon / 1165 posts
I can’t imagine how difficult the transition is going to be for you and your family. You all were very lucky to have each other, even if only for a short time. Hugs!!
blogger / eggplant / 11551 posts
I can’t even imagine having to let him go after pouring so much of yourselves into him. I’m sure you’ve changed his life forever (in the best way possible) just like he has yours. Hugs!
admin / wonderful grape / 20724 posts
So heartbreaking… and I agree, I am sure you have changed his life forever!!
GOLD / wonderful pomegranate / 28905 posts
I’m so sorry to hear this. I hope where ever he is going you will be able to keep in touch. (((hugs)))
blogger / cherry / 247 posts
heartbreaking…
do you know where he is going? is that something you get to know?
blogger / cherry / 113 posts
I’m so so sorry.
pineapple / 12234 posts
Gosh. You are an incredible person. I am so sorry.
honeydew / 7295 posts
You are amazing. What you’ve done for this boy and for your strenght . I am so sorry you have to endure the pain of letting him go. I hope the universe has another forever baby in store for you.
clementine / 920 posts
You are amazing for having opened your home and your hearts to him. I can’t imagine how it must feel. Hugs!
nectarine / 2771 posts
Hugs. I can’t imagine how painful it must be to have to say goodbye…
grapefruit / 4703 posts
I’m so sorry, that must be so hard. Will you get to continue to see him? I imagine that it’s going to be a hard transition for him too (and Isaiah). Hugs!
hostess / wonderful watermelon / 39513 posts
I am so sorry.
coconut / 8079 posts
This is so very hard. I have experienced this many times as a big sister but never as a mom. I cannot imagine how much harder that is. Saying goodbye is just awful. I know he will be changed forever because of the love you showed him, even though it was only for a short season.
guest
Our foster son went home a few weeks ago after 9 months with us. I don’t know what your son’s circumstances are, but we were blessed to send him home to a family who loved him just as much as we do. The joy of giving our son the chance to know and be loved by his family was matched only by our deep grief at not being his mom and dad. I can only say that with time, the joy grows greater and the pangs a little less. We took some family photos right before he went home and wrote him a little letter for his mom to share with him if he ever had questions about his time with us and both those things were a real balm to me as we said goodbye. Wishing you and your family peace in the weeks and months ahead.
blogger / pomegranate / 3044 posts
I’m so sorry. I imagine this is so, so hard. Big hugs.
hostess / wonderful persimmon / 25556 posts
He is so lucky to have had you for those 6 months. My heart aches for you.
pomegranate / 3225 posts
oh, my gosh. You are so strong. Prayers and positivity to your foster son and your family.
blogger / nectarine / 2010 posts
I’m so sorry. My heart breaks for you. He’s so lucky to have had you.
pomelo / 5621 posts
I can’t even imagine how hard this must be.
cantaloupe / 6669 posts
I’m so sorry. It sounds like you all were very lucky to have had each other.
pear / 1786 posts
I am so sorry, that sounds extremely hard. Love & hugs!
GOLD / wonderful apricot / 22646 posts
You are such an amazing and strong mama! I am in awe!! Hugs!!
GOLD / apricot / 341 posts
It’s hard even imagining how you get yourself and your family through something like this! You’re amazing to do it!
blogger / grapefruit / 4836 posts
I had to wait until i was alone to read this, and im glad i did. Oh, the tears
You are such a strong momma, and i know that the love you have given him in the last 6 months was such an incredible blessing in his life.
blogger / pomegranate / 3300 posts
I can only imagine the heartache. My prayers are with you during this transition.
hostess / papaya / 10540 posts
Without a doubt you’ve changed his life. I’m so sorry.
GOLD / papaya / 10166 posts
I’m crying over here – I can’t even imagine how painful that is.
nectarine / 2974 posts
I can’t even imagine how hard this is for you. Could you buy him a matching stocking and send it with him? maybe with a letter for when he is older? Like how he is always part of your family?
blogger / persimmon / 1398 posts
Oh Mama. My heart breaks for you.
pineapple / 12566 posts
This is just heartbreaking. You’ve given him such a generous gift being his mama, even if it was only for a short time. You will both carry that with you.
grapefruit / 4731 posts
*big hugs*! Sorry to hear he’s not staying with you. Hopefully he will be happy in his new situation. So sad that he can’t be a part of your family.