I first heard the term “tongue tie” after Drake was born. We had a horrible experience breastfeeding — the pain was unbearable and I cried a few times. Since I was a first time mom, I had every nurse who came through my room check our latch, as I assumed something had to be wrong for breastfeeding to hurt so bad. From the outside, they all said his latch looked fine. Still the pain continued, and his weight dropped significantly in our first week home. I was beside myself, torn between the pain and the need to feed my baby. I hated nursing him and cried doing it, but I also realized he was failing and something was wrong with what we were doing.
After a week home and so many tears, I fought with my insurance company and had a lactation consultant come in to see what was going wrong. That’s when she noticed Drake’s tongue tie. She noted how she only noticed it when he was screaming, as his tongue wasn’t pulling up like it ought to have. It didn’t prevent him from latching on, but because of the restriction, it made his latch very shallow which was the reason why I was in such pain — he was only clamping down on the front part of my breast even though from the outside appearance it looked correct.
Luckily our lactation consultant not only sent her own kids to the same pediatrician we used, but she also worked closely with them and was able to get us into an appointment that same day. At the tender age of one week, Drake had minor oral surgery to cut his frenum. The doctor said afterwards that his was quite thick and short, and was probably very much affecting his ability to nurse.
After the surgery nursing did improve somewhat; the pain was lessened, but sadly Drake and I never did get the hang of breastfeeding. While I can’t say for sure, I do attribute the tongue tie and the week we lost in the supply and demand of breastfeeding as part of the reason things never got better. After 3 months of breastfeeding, we switched to pumping and supplementing. The experience made me quite aware of what an undetected tongue tie could do though, and armed with that knowledge I was prepared to make sure that never happened to us again.
When Juliet was born, the first thing I asked before she came near my breast was to check for a tongue tie. I was reassured multiple times that she did not have one. I posted about our breastfeeding journey in the past (in short we did have some early issues but were able to eventually breastfeed successfully).
At Juliet’s 2 month check up, her weight was starting to slide and the doctor said we might have to take a look at her 4 month appointment. In the month or so leading up to Juliet’s four month appointment, I had a nagging feeling that maybe weight gain wasn’t going as well as it ought to have been. On my home scale I would often hold Juliet and weigh us together and then weigh myself without her, and the weight difference wasn’t as much as I had hoped or expected her to be with the amount of time I spent nursing. I did realize that this wasn’t a totally accurate measure though, and held onto hope that some how the numbers were wrong.
Two weeks before Juliet’s 4 month appointment on a particularly cranky day, Juliet managed to scratch some of her cradle cap off which caused some bleeding, so I decided to take her to the doctor in case it got infected. While at the doctor’s we got a quick weight check, and it was then my fears were confirmed. At 2 months Juliet weighed 9 lb 6 ozs, and at that appointment she was 10 lbs 2 ozs. In the span of almost 2 months, she didn’t even gain a full pound. I was upset and disappointed and we spoke to the doctor about it. She suggested since Juliet was already 4 months old to start her on some solids: oatmeal with olive oil mixed in, bananas, avocados, foods with natural fats in them to see if they could help her gain more on top of our regular nursing. Juliet’s 4 month check up was in 2 weeks and she said that would be a good time to check up on progress as well.
Juliet started solids and it went pretty well. At her 4 month appointment she weighed in at 10 lbs 8 ozs, gaining 6 ozs in 2 weeks — not terrific but also not terrible. During her 4 month check up, the doctor asked me a few questions: Was Juliet laughing? Was she able to stick out her tongue to imitate me? Afterwards, the doctor checked Juliet’s mouth and told me that Juliet had a tongue tie.
I was flabbergasted. I told her how I asked every nurse in the hospital check her and was told she didn’t have one, and while breastfeeding had been difficult, we made it through our early troubles. This was the same doctor that had fixed Drake’s tongue tie, and she told me how Juliet’s tongue tie was different from Drake’s. Drake had an anterior tongue tie, but Juliet had a posterior one. And because tongue ties are usually an inherited trait that both of my children have been affected by, chances are that if I have other children, this might come up again.
Anterior tongue ties like Drake’s are toward the front of the tongue. They can be seen when the baby cries and the tongue is being held down to the mouth by a tissue membrane. Posterior tongue ties are harder to diagnose, and can usually only be diagnosed by feeling as they are further back and sometimes under the membranes of the tongue. Tongue ties, both anterior and posterior, can affect breastfeeding, speech, eating, as well as numerous other things. This site is a wonderful resource for additional information about tongue ties.
Juliet had been feeding consistently every 2 hours around the clock for months, and yet her weight didn’t reflect the amount of time I spent nursing her. Also in the last month or so she would often pull on and off for most of the feeding, which was irritating and also a little painful. The doctor said all of these things might be attributed to her tongue tie, as she didn’t really seem to have a lot of mobility with her tongue. She told me that because it was a posterior tongue tie, I would have to see a pediatric ENT to get it clipped.
After going through Drake’s tongue tie clip, which was a lot easier to do than what Juliet would have to go through, I was scared for Juliet. The doctor said if I wanted to, I could wait a month and bring her back in to see if her weight would improve with the solids. But if after a month her weight didn’t increase significantly, it would probably be best for us to consider getting her tongue clipped as well.
So that’s where we are now. I talked to Mr. Chocolate about the pros and cons of what we should do. We could wait the month and if Juliet’s weight improves a lot, we might avoid having to go through with the clip. Tongue ties can affect speech however, and there is a chance we would have to get it clipped anyway if Juliet has speech issues; that might be traumatic to do when she is older as well. I am unsure what would be best — do it when she is little in case we have to do it for speech later, or not do it and take the chance that she will gain weight successfully now and not have speech issues later. I have a month to decide either way and I’m not sure at this time.
I never realized that this was the extent of her tongue’s extension
squash / 13764 posts
Oh my goodness, I am so sorry that you’ve had such a rough experience with TTs!! My LO had a posterior tongue tie (and a lip tie–they almost always go together, so I would DEFINITELY get Juliet checked for a lip tie as well). As you know, when it’s clipped when they’re little, it’s a super easy procedure–at her age now, I imagine they would use a laser? I would still 100% get it done if I were you–this is just my opinion, but if I wanted the best shot at having a good nursing relationship for as long as possible (maybe up to a year, not sure what your goals are?) I wouldn’t want anything to get in the way of that, especially not something that is easily fixable. Plus, as you said, it could cause issues down the line and it’s not something you would want done when she’s 7/8/9 if you can help it! And it sounds like it’s already making it difficult for her to nurse (causing her to pull off, etc).
I am so sorry that she was misdiagnosed as not having one–I can’t even imagine how frustrated you must feel. I know as well that they are genetic, and I am definitely having LO#2 checked out by an ENT in the hospital before we leave!! Good luck with your decision!
guest
Boo! My daughter had a lip tie and we had it lasered at 12 weeks because it destroyed one of my nipples. The procedure was so quick (though lip ties are a bit easier I believe) but the improvement it made with nursing was amazing. My daughter was such a slow nurser (always at least 30+ min) but she did so much better afterward (15 min tops). And my nipple finally healed!
That’s just our experience – it’s always hard to make those types of decisions. Good luck!
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Oh and I meant to mention that sometimes TT/LT can’t be seen until the baby grows a bit so it’s always good to keep having them checked – esp if you feel there are symptoms.
apricot / 340 posts
When I got to the part where the pediatrician diagnosed her with a tongue tie I she’d a tear. I would have started crying right then and there if I were you from the frustration. I have no experience on this topic so no advice or suggestions from me. I wish your family the best and know you will make the right decision for yourselves.
eggplant / 11716 posts
awww….sorry to hear about your tongue tie issues.
My LO’s problems with latch were I think, in the end, more of a jaw issue from birth trauma, but before we started getting cranial sacral therapy for that, we had a pediatric ENT confirm an IBLC’s diagnoses of a posterior tongue and lip tie. We had them both clipped and it really wasn’t bad at all—maybe 1 minute of crying tops.
HOWEVER….it didn’t solve our breastfeeding issues (neither my pain nor her transfer problems) and what I was sure about was that it wasn’t supply. At the time I was pumping 45 oz a day.
In the end, I’m glad we had it done because I always would have wondered if there was something else I could have done to help our breastfeeding, even if it ultimately didn’t work. My husband disagrees–he’d rather we didn’t do it if we’d known BFing wasn’t going to work out (hindsight!). In any case, I exclusively pump now.
I’m not at all worried about the speech issue at this point because the ENT pointed out that I have a pretty severe tongue and lip tie and it’s never affected my speech (and I was a BF baby with no issues either). So go figure.
blogger / nectarine / 2600 posts
@hilsy85: Thank you for sharing your story and helping assuage my feelings. I have read up that they use lasers these days but I dont remember my Dr mentioning that. All I heard was clamping the tongue down and I think I blanked as I got so upset at the thought. She didnt mention a lip tie so Ill be sure to ask next time as I didnt know they went together a lot of times. I am leaning toward doing it as I do think it would be best in the long run Im just having a hard time with the idea since it seems more complicated than with my son whose was an anterior one.
@yourekindapretty: Aww thank you so much for your kindness. I hope I make the best decision, its the struggle of all parents I guess when we are entrusted with such precious lives.
@Anagram: Thank you for sharing your story. Im a little worried too as we are breastfeeding decently now so Im worried maybe things will change if we get it clipped too. Im not sure if it would be worse but its a risk and I have such issues with BFing to begin with its scary to think about changing things up again. My husband and I are both always looking at each others mouths right now trying to figure out who is the root of this issue lol We dont think either of us have it but who knows maybe the ENT can tell us
apricot / 329 posts
Speaking from the perspective of someone who has a tongue tie myself, I urge you to go ahead and have it clipped! My parents didn’t. While I don’t have speech issues, it really sucked not being able to stick out my tongue to lick a big lollipop like my siblings, or an ice cream cone. And, perhaps TMI, but I can’t French kiss. It was always embarrassing for me that my tongue has “limited mobility” but by the time I started complaining about it (around age 4 or 5, due to ice cream cones and giant lollipops that I couldn’t properly lick!) my pediatrician told my parents that clipping it at that point could lead to speech problems as I had learned to speak with the tight tongue and a “newly loose” tongue could therefore cause problems. I’m not sure if that’s correct, but I’ve never had the tongue tie medically corrected but I sure wish it had been done when I was a baby.
guest
Although we got my little one’s tongue tie clipped when he was two days old, nursing continued to be excruciating until five weeks later, when I worked with a lactation consultant to help him change the way he sucked. It turns out that he wasn’t accustomed to the new range of motion, and so he was just continuing to suck the same way that he had when he was tongue-tied. It didn’t help that I had over-supply, so even with bad latch he was getting plenty of milk. We had a set of exercises and stretches that I would do with him before each feeding to help him open wide, engage the right muscles, and extend his tongue. Especially given that she’s been breast-feeding with the tongue-tie for so many months, if you go ahead with the tongue tie revision, you might want to have a lactation consultant show you some exercises to help her learn to use her new range of motion. I really wish I had done it earlier; within a couple of weeks of working with the lactation consultant, breast-feeding shifted from excruciating to tolerable to enjoyable.
nectarine / 2217 posts
we had our LO#2’s tt clipped early as well, but i can’t help but wonder if LO#1’s bf’ing troubles were related to a tt as well… perhaps!
i just wanted to chime in with the french kissing thing as well… i knew someone with a tt and they were also unable to ‘properly’ french kiss. not really a big deal in the grand scheme of things, but just one of those thing we don’t think about!
blogger / watermelon / 14218 posts
awww Juliet, she is just too sweet. How frustrating that you were so vigilant to check her for tongue tie and they still didn’t catch it! Sigh. Both my kids have pretty severe tongue and lip ties, but luckily it didn’t affect breastfeeding for either of them, so we haven’t had anything clipped. They both drool pretty severely, but that’s the only drawback I’ve seen so far. Wagon Jr.’s speech is fine (he mixes up L’s and W’s, but he CAN say the L’s… normal kid mispronunciation stuff) so we’ve taken the approach of not doing anything if it’s not causing any major problems. Wagon Sr. has tongue and lip ties too!
guest
We went through somewhat the opposite. Our lactation consultant watched our little one feed and suggested she might have TT. Fortunately we had our one-week appt with the doctor the next day and she poo-pooed it. It certainly didn’t look like TT to us either. We broke down that day and decided to try feeding our little one pumped breast milk via a bottle. You know what? Once she figured out exactly how to latch on, she actually got BETTER at breast feeding. In our case, parental instinct turned out to be the best option.
persimmon / 1161 posts
My son did not get properly diagnosed with a tongue tie until he was about nine months old despite asking two LCs and a few doctors. We finally saw an ENT who diagnosed it. Originally we were told he would have to be put under general anesthesia, but then called me after thinking about it for a few days and said we can try in the office. That’s what we did and my baby cooperated enough to get it done. I’m so glad we did.
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Cyrus has a tongue tie. Maybe raven has one too! You’re doing great finding what your children and you need in order for them to thrive! Great Job, Mrs. Chocolate.
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Morgan or anyone- where did you get it lasered at? Any suggestions for a Dr is Southern California?
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My daughter is 4 moths and I just checked her after reading symptoms and she totally has both under tongue and upper lip. Nursing has been really hard and has every issue but she does gain weight thankfully.