Hellobee

When we first started this journey at 16 months we knew that Olive had some delays, but we weren’t sure about the degree since she was so young. At 2 1/2 now, she is thriving. An early delay could have resulted in a greater compounded delay later, so we have no regrets about being as proactive as we were. The very best thing we could have done for her was to intervene early, and ultimately I think everything we did made a big difference in her development.

I wanted to share the single most important thing that we did to address Olive’s specific needs. While traveling to the Philippines last summer to visit Mr. Bee’s parents, I noticed that she had a developmental explosion. She went from saying single words to stringing together 3-4 words seemingly overnight! I theorized that all the sensory stimulation must have been key (we were staying on the beach and there were endless things for the kids to explore), but I really didn’t know anything about sensory processing issues at the time.

After we returned home to New York, Olive had a regression in many of her behaviors, and I thought that it was because she wasn’t being stimulated enough after all the sensory overload she had just experienced. Then I exchanged wall posts with a Hellobee mom about her son,  who had similar issues, and hearing about her experience was really a light bulb moment for me. It felt like she was talking about Olive! That exchange was so revelatory for me, that I’ve reposted most of it below with her permission.

M R S .  B E E

Olive started stringing together 3-4 words while we were traveling. I think it was an amazing experience for her — she learned so much! Maybe so much sensory input!

But her receptive language is still so far behind her expressive language. We still have some concerns, like how she never answers a question appropriately with yes (she will say no), and instead repeats a word in our question. For instance, “Olive do you want water?” She’ll say “water.”

There are some other issues too like toe walking, and now she hates shoes and certain clothes. I think she has some sensory issues.

H E L L O B E E  M O M

My son had a lot of the same concerns that Olive had at around that age. His receptive language was really behind (as was his expressive) but he’s made huge improvements since we enrolled him in his new preschool. He also toe-walked and hated to wear certain shoes (he said they hurt his feet). He actually stopped toe-walking at around 2 1/2. He didn’t do it that often but enough for us to notice. We ask our OT and developmental ped about it and they both said it was sensory-related. My son’s sensory issues were mainly vestibular and visual and maybe a little oral. He wasn’t sensitive to noise at all.

The biggest and best therapy we could give him (and my DH 100% agrees) is exposing him to new experiences and bombarding him with sensory input. His very first words ever was “give me more” when we were at Disneyland eating churros. He was SO excited and I could just tell from his face that he was soaking the sensory inputs all in. That’s when we realized that the best therapy we could give him is to expose to as many sensory-related environments that we could. Sounds like Olive was getting awesome therapy during your travels!

My son’s eye contact wasn’t great. He didn’t respond to his name and couldn’t really answer open ended questions. We were really REALLY concerned. But now that he’s almost 3 1/2, most (like 90%?) of those sensory issues have gone away! He tolerates any texture, eats so much more variety, has really good eye contact and completely stopped toe-walking. We’re still working on expressive and receptive language (he has trouble answering open ended questions still) but he’s made huge improvements.

What’s interesting is that we had him evaluated many times and all of his IQ scores came out really high. His cognitive skills and pre-academic scores came out 14 months ahead. Yet, his expressive and language scores always put him 10-12 months behind. So his development is uneven and we’re hoping to smooth it all out before Kinder.

Autism definitely crossed my mind (many times) but as he’s growing and developing, I’m convinced that it’s all sensory related. We had him evaluated 3 times by psychologists and they all ruled out autism. They all mention that his IQ is really high but that he sounds like a much younger child because of his speech and phonological issues.

All of this is really tough and draining. But it’s SO worth it in the end. Their brains are so malleable at this young age. There’s a lot we can do right now to help them as they develop.

Are most of your concerns with Olive sensory-related? It took me a really long time to figure out what the root issue was with my son.

M R S .  B E E

wow that is really interesting! olive’s issues sound very similar! she toe walks, but it’s not all the time. our ot told us to keep her in shoes at all times so she can’t toe walk, but she still does it in her crocs! crocs are the only shoes she will wear these days because she says all other shoes “hurt.”  i guess those really are the most comfortable shoe because it is so big and doesn’t touch their feet as closely as other shoes.

Olive also objects to certain clothes and this has actually gotten worse since we came back from traveling. She was pretty flexible about letting me dress her (though she was always particular about shoes). Now she refuses to let me put her hair up (she let me most of the time while we were traveling), and refuses to put on certain clothes or she wants to take off all her clothes and diaper.

she too is not sensitive to sound either.

her expressive language is not that far behind (she has at least 150 words… maybe closer to 200 at 23 months), but her receptive language is so poor in comparison. she never responds “yes” and doesn’t understand/follow simple commands. she also doesn’t listen and tunes us out even when she does understand. most of her words were gained while we were traveling for 5 weeks!

it is SO interesting to hear you say that exposure to new sensory experiences had the biggest impact. i feel that has totally been true with olive too, and that is what i will focus on now.

oh another thing is olive’s lack of focus. it is so hard to sit down with her to read a book. the only ones that keep her attention for a short while are interactive books with pull tabs, but maybe she is seeking a sensory experience so it’s hard to sit there and just read a regular book?

i’m glad that your son has made so much progress and most of the things you were worried about have gone away! very interesting that he is super smart but struggled with these issues…. probably related to being born early? of course i’ve thought autism many times too since we started this whole process, but i think she probably has a speech delay and some sensory issues. i am encouraged by your story so thanks so much for sharing with me! 

H E L L O B E E  M O M

I feel VERY strongly that a lot of his sensory issues stem from being born too early! He was just barely 6lbs when he was born and had horrible reflux. Looking back, I think there were signs of some sensory problems early on but because he was my first child, I never picked up on them!

Whenever he tuned us out, it was usually because he was seeking sensory experiences (visually for him). We can be walking around the mall and he’ll be so interested in his surroundings that he wouldn’t even hear us call his name. He’s gotten SO much better with this though. He answers to his name at least 9 out of 10 times. And sometimes I think the other 1 time is because he’s just plain ignoring us! haha. Punk.

With sensory, it’s all about exposure (my OT’s words). I try to keep this in mind whenever we do anything, even every day activities like baking cookies (textural) or folding laundry (swinging him on blankets). We try to incorporate a few activities a day to help with his oral, vestibular and fine motor skills (the areas that he needs to work on). It’s pretty easy to incorporate OT activities throughout the day. Just have to be creative and look for opportunities!

I can tell you that my son is a completely different kid than he was when he was 2. Night and day. Once his sensory needs were met, he was SO much more focused and attentive. He never used to let me read a book to him (he would just keep flipping the pages). Now he’ll sit through an entire circle time at school! I would have never imagined him doing this 12 months ago. His poor eye contact was sensory related. He just wasn’t focusing long enough on anything (like my face!) because he was a sensory seeker, not because he wasn’t socially connected to us (which was my biggest worry). Poor joint attention…all of it…. totally gone once his sensory issues were addressed.

M R S .  B E E

i’m seriously having an aha moment because of your comment about the sensory experiences. i think one thing that had a huge impact on olive while we were traveling is that we were surrounded by animals. they were very therapeutic. Also we were always surrounded by water, which she is obsessed with.

we bought a couple of books on sensory processing disorder and have lots of ideas on how to incorporate more sensory experiences for her. the more i think about it, the more i think that really is the key.

thanks so much! i think this is life changing!!! 

H E L L O B E E  M O M

I agree that exposure is key. I think about it like they have sensory NEEDS. Like hunger or thirst in a way. If you’re hungry/thirsty, that’s all you think about all day. No matter what you’re doing, you can’t focus on anything else because you’re so hungry. For my son, he had vestibular and visual needs. So he wouldn’t focus on anything (reading a book, playing a game, having a conversation with me) until his needs (“hunger”) were met. Once we were able to consistently fulfill this, he was able to focus on other areas of development like speech and motor and everything else! The good thing is that OT activities are actually really fun, whereas practicing speech can be so boring. 

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Sensory need as a hunger/thirst that needed to be quenched?! Light bulb! Olive was a sensory seeker as well and needed to have her sensory needs satiated!

After that conversation, we started doing as many sensory activities as possible. Anything that involved nature was always a surefire hit, but we just went to as many new and different experiences as possible. Olive loved sensory experiences of all kinds. Soon Olive’s regressions started to subside, and we could really see a big difference! We saw general improvements in her delays as well — her focus improved (she could finally read books!), her receptive speech (which lagged far behind her expressive) finally started to catch up, her tantrums subsided, and her toe walking lessened.

Today Olive is no longer considered speech delayed, but she is still a sensory seeker (as opposed to someone who is overwhelmed by sensory stimuli), and she still toe walks pretty regularly. The only thing that may or may not be a problem is her fierce independence. For instance she is generally very friendly and affectionate, but she really only engages with her immediate family and the few people that she is really close to. You can really see her independence/need to seek sensory stimuli whenever we are around other kids. All the kids usually play together, but Olive is always off doing her own thing touching and exploring everything. She is perfectly happy to play completely by herself. When we went to a birthday party at the park this weekend, she wandered off by herself, hundreds of yards away, for hours (it was an open field so we could see her the entire time, but she went really, really far!). Whether that’s just her personality, her fulfilling her sensory needs, or both I’m not sure.

But there’s no denying that she has come such a long way in the past year, and I do believe that exposing her to so many sensory experiences have been the key. To be honest worries still linger in the back of my mind, but for now, I am optimistic. I’m so thankful to this Hellobee mom for helping us unlock the secret to Olive, and hopefully it’s helpful to some of you out there as well!