If you’ve followed our story, you know that Sweet P had a rough few months with colic, reflux, tongue and lip tie and a dairy intolerance. Along with these issues came a lot of crying, screaming and not sleeping. Getting to the bottom of it all was not fun for anyone. We spent so many hours a day trying to soothe her, get her to sleep, get her back to sleep, etc., and it was exhausting.
I just had to add in a sweet picture even though it has nothing to do with sleep training.
In my attempts to research colic and baby sleep as much as possible those first few months, something that I read in “Healthy Sleep Habits, Healthy Child” really stuck out to me. Weissbluth shared how statistics show that in the long run, most colicky babies end up sleep deprived because after the first 3 months their parents are so terrified of hearing their babies cry that they continue doing everything possible to keep their baby from crying, and the baby doesn’t learn how to sleep on his/her own. Weissbluth recommended starting sleep training at 4 months once the colic has passed. I kind of dismissed the idea after reading it because I absolutely hated the idea of leaving her to cry for any amount of time. But as 4 months got closer and her sleep got worse and 45 minute naps turned into 30 minute naps and then 15, I decided we had to start nap training.
By that point we had eliminated dairy from her diet for a few weeks, so she was no longer having tummy issues. I definitely didn’t want her to cry-it-out if she had an upset stomach. I’m so glad to say it was a whole lot easier than I anticipated. I referred to the Weissbluth and a bit to the “Sleep Easy Solution” and set up some “guidelines” to help nap training be as smooth as possible.
First of all, I set aside 4 full days where I could be at home all day and we could just work on naps. This was so important because it set up consistency for her. It also allowed me to do the exact same routine before nap each time so that she would learn that naptime was coming. I also decided that because she needed to eat every 3 hours and she had a 1.5 hour ideal wake-time that her naps needed to be 1.5 hours long. So, if she woke early (like she always did before) we would cry-it-out for her to fall back asleep as well. I said a lot of prayers and mentally prepared myself for her to cry through several entire naptimes and that we would all have a very rough 3 days of constant crying and screaming, but I was pleasantly surprised when she seemed to get the hang of falling asleep on her own by the end of Day 1!
A few keys that I think were important to us making it work, and me feeling more comfortable were:
1. The naptime routine – Before each nap I turned on her sound machine, swaddled her, rocked her and sang one song, then laid her down in her Rock & Play and said ‘Night, night Sweet P. It’s naptime,” patted her and left.
2. I went in on intervals to give her the pacifier, pat her and say, “It’s ok Sweet P. It’s naptime.” I went in after 5 minutes of crying the first time, then waited 10 and then 15 minutes after that. I know many people do extinction crying, but I just wasn’t comfortable with that for us.
3. If she woke early from her nap I would again let her cry for 5, then 10 minutes. But, I never let her go longer than 10 minutes of crying after an early wake-up. And if she had gotten to the 75 minute mark of naptime and still hadn’t fallen back asleep, I would just get her up and feed her since I didn’t think trying to get her to sleep for those last 15 minutes would be too important.
4. She still needed 4 naps at this point, but the last nap was just a 30-45 minute catnap, so I still held and patted her to sleep for this nap as I pretty much just needed her to get in a long enough nap to help her get to bedtime without being too fussy. So, no nap training for the 4th nap of the day, just the first 3 naps.
. . . . .
It went so much better than I ever would have thought! This was a baby who I had never once laid down awake before, but she never cried for longer than 30 minutes! I’m so grateful that we now have a pretty predictable routine going. I was kind of afraid of getting “off” of the routine once we got this nice schedule, but we have since gone on outings or the doctor and she has been able to be fairly flexible for one nap of the day. Of course her naps are still best at home when she is put down within her ideal wake time, but after a week of staying at home, I’m glad we have a little bit more flexibility.
Another huge benefit of the nap training is that she sleeps much, much better at night now. Within a few days of doing nap training she was down to just one night feeding when previously it was at least 2-3 times. And other than having to give her the pacifier once in the night, she actually sleeps through the night more often than not now (less than 2 weeks later) without any nighttime cry-it-out! But, to me, the biggest benefit is that she cries far less for naps than when we were soothing her. When we do her nap routine she knows her nap is coming and although she might fuss a bit for 5 minutes or so, she goes to sleep pretty easily and either sleeps the full 1.5 hours, or she wakes early and falls quickly back to sleep. She’s also even more smiley and happy because she is well rested now.
I logged exact crying times those first 4 days of nap training because I found that reading how much other babies cried encouraged me that the crying wouldn’t last forever, so I will share that with you too. Don’t be discouraged if crying increases after a few days of success. We had more crying on Day 4 than on the previous 2 days, but it’s rare that she cries much at all these days and it’s usually more fussing and crying, and I do think there is a difference. So, be encouraged if you see regression. It won’t last forever.
D A Y 1
Nap 1
9:30-10am- Crying
10:00-10:23- Sleeping (hooray!)
10:30-10:50- Crying
Ended nap early at 10:50
Nap 2
12:30-12:35 Crying
11:35-1:15- Sleeping (Oh my goodness! Just 5 minutes of crying for this nap!)
1:15-1:25- Crying
1:25-2:00- Sleeping (I had to wake her up for the next feed.)
Nap 3
3:37- 3:40- Crying
3:40-4:25- Sleeping
4:25-4:30- Woke briefly without crying
4:30-5:00 Went back to sleep
D A Y 2
Nap 1
9:45-9:52- Fussing
9:52-11:30- Sleeping
Nap 2
1:05-1:10 Fussing
1:10-1:45- Sleeping
1:45-1:55- Crying
1:55-2:30- Sleeping
Nap 3
3:48-3:58 Crying
3:58-4:32 Sleeping
4:32-4:58 Crying
4:58-5:15 Sleeping
D A Y 3
Nap 1
9:15-9:25 Fussing
9:25-11:00 Sleeping
Nap 2
12:40 Fell asleep right away and slept until 2:10
Nap 3
3:43-3:50 Crying
3:50-4:30 Sleeping
4:30-4:35 Fussing
4:35-5:10 Sleeping
D A Y 4
Nap 1
9:35-9:40- Fussing
9:40-11:00- Sleeping
Nap 2
12:30-1:00 Crying
1:00-1:26 Sleeping
1:26-1:38 Awake and Calm
1:38-1:44 Crying
1:45 Ended Nap Early
Nap 3
3:27-3:30 Fussing
3:30-4:00 Sleeping
4:00-4:15 Crying
4:15-5:00 Asleep
Did you ever do nap training for your little one? Was it successful?
cantaloupe / 6131 posts
Yes, we did pretty much the same thing for our colicky reflux baby. He went from being the angriest baby on the block to being the happiest baby (for the 30 minutes he was awake and not eating), so we were (and still are) strict about his nap schedule. I didn’t go anywhere those first few months! Month 4 and 5 were the hardest in terms of pegging his schedule because the amounts he was eating were fluctuating, as were his waketimes. Lots of experimenting going on and really frustrating. We’re now at 4 feedings, solids 3x a day, and 2 naps at 8 months and its nice to have reached a schedule that we’ll roughly be on for a few months (although is 2 hour naps are going down to more like 1.5 hour naps!)
guest
Agh so happy to find your site. I did night training few weeks ago same as you with checks. And now ready to do naps. But am very scared. Hopefully it goes as fast as yours!
guest
Oh my goodness, thank you so much for posting this. I’m on day two of nap training my 4.5 month old son – for the past two months I’ve let him take every nap in his swing, but finally decided he needed to learn how to nap in his crib and put himself to sleep bc he hasn’t been doing that well at night. This is just so helpful to read and know I’m not crazy! He’s finally getting to the point of falling asleep without crying, but almost always wakes up after only 25-30 minutes of sleep and is crying again. This is just so encouraging to see that you faced the same thing and knowing that it won’t last forever! Thank you thank you thank you.
apricot / 363 posts
This post motivated me to nap train our 5 month old! After quitting my job, holidays, travel, and a bad 4 month sleep regression we decided it was time. Previously, she was in daycare 3 days a week, with my mom 1 day, DH 1 day, so we were all over the place. For almost 2 weeks, all I could do was hold her for naps if we wanted to get anything more than 30 minutes (lots of Neflix!). We are on Day 2 and it is going really well! We had 2, 2 hour naps in the crib yesterday with one stroller catnap in the afternoon! She is currently in her first nap of the day and it was a little bit of a struggle – she woke up at the 30 minute mark but I let her fuss for another 15 minutes and she is back asleep now. The biggest help from your post was to block off the whole week to focus on it. I just canceled lunch with a friend and while I’m disappointed to miss seeing her I know that we have to get through these first few days! Thank you for the helpful hints and good luck to all the other mommas nap training out there!
blogger / pear / 1563 posts
@rpparker: Thank you so much for sharing this! I’m glad this post helped someone!
That sounds hard to have those short naps.
Keep me posted! You’re so right that you have to hang in there and block off the time to be sure they get into a good routine. I’ll be crossing my fingers for you for continued success. Her going BACK to sleep after 30 minutes is a huge success!
guest
Thanks for posting this! We are on day 2 of nap training and tonight will be day 3 of night training my 4 month old. It is rough!! But, I am hoping he will catch on. My question is – once little one was trained, how did you handle having to disrupt his nap schedule? I work hard to keep his schedule as much in tact as possible (first baby and only child so it’s possible right now), but we go to church on Sundays, he has drs. appointments, mamma needs to get out of the house, etc…how do you put him down if you know you are borderline on his sleepy window? Help him go down, or once they are trained do they go down pretty easily even if overtired?
blogger / pear / 1563 posts
@Jillian:
Personally, after we trained and she had the skills to get herself to sleep, if she had a hard time I would soothe her to sleep. Especially if we had messed with her ideal wake time for appointments or church or something.
guest
Thanks for sharing. I find reading other mom’s real-life experiences so much more helpful than any sleep book on the market!
I’m working up the courage to sleep train my 4 mo and banish these 45 min naps once and for all. Was your LO still swaddled when you nap trained? What time was bedtime/morning awake time? (About how many hours of night sleep was she getting?) TIA.
guest
dear mrs pinata,
I’ve been reading and re-reading your nap training story for the last two months since my baby girl was 2 months old.
she turned 4 months last week and I think I’m officially ready to nap train her.
I just have a couple of questions for you. You mention you used a pacifier during nap training. My daughter refused the pacifier at first and only accepted her after she turned 3 months. We still only offer it when she needs to go to sleep or when she gets fussy in the stroller or the car seat. I’ve witnessed her going to sleep without it (e.g. if she wakes up really early I’d breastfeed her and leave her next to me in bed. She’d play with her blanket, babble a bit to herself and drift off after half an hour) and during our past tries in nap training after rejecting it and crying her lungs out she would eventually accept it, calm herself and fall asleep.
The main reason I’m having doubts about the pacifier is that her cat naps of 30min are truly notorious. She wakes up on the dot and there are absolutely no ways to prolong her naps unless she’s in the Ergo carrier. I’ve watched her waking up after 30min and she basically first wakes up then spits out the pacifier. I’m not sure how our prolonging the naps will look like if she’s reliant on my re-inserting the pacifier after every sleep cycle? Or do I expect her to just prolong it after some days of nap training regardless of having the pacifier or not? What was your experience with your daughter? Thank you so much for your reply
blogger / pear / 1563 posts
I think use of a pacifier is totally up to you. DD was still swaddled at the time and I wanted her to have something to self soothe. If you are dealing with just 30 min naps I might ask if your wake times are.too long. How long are you keeping her up before putting her down for a nap?
For me, I always gave the paci back when I did my checks at 2, 5, 10 mins., and it helped. I think would say give nap training a go and if you don’t see longer naps and/or more self soothing within 3 days or so then she may not be ready yet.
guest
Thank you so much for your reply!
Should I try to nap train during regression or should I let it pass?
Now at 4 months her awake time is around 90min. But I start putting her to slep at around 90min mark.
She now naps exclusively in the Ergo carrier and it usually doesn’t take her long to fall asleep. But after 30min, wide awake.
Obviously, if I wait 90min for the second nap, she is overtired. (Should I put her earlier?) And that is the case for the rest of the day (and night).
She always had a thing for short naps but when she was smaller I managed to shhh her or rock her or breastfeed her to prolong them. Now, absolutely nothing helps.
Also, we seem to be experiencing a sleep regression. She reached her record of waking up 11 times last night
blogger / pear / 1563 posts
@melange if her naps are short, I would definitely shorten the wake time. If you’re wanting to nap train then I would definitely get rid of.the Ergo for naps. That sounds exhausting!
guest
Dear mrs.Pinata, here’s an update.

I’ve ditched the Ergo for naps and it went more smoothly than I expected. But, after almost a month of naps in the crib she still doesn’t sleep longer than 30 minutes.
I’ve tried putting her to sleep after she’s been awake for 60 minutes, 120 minutes, giving her paracetamol just in case she’s teething, putting her in a disposable diaper (we use cloth diapers) just in case she pees and finds it uncomfortable, wake-to-sleep, waiting for her to wake up and immediately replacing the pacifier. We let her cry it out for 30 min after she wakes up, She went back to sleep only two times, and even then she would wake up 10 min after falling asleep.
In the past month, she only slept 3 times longer than 30 minutes. It’s ridiculous.
She isn’t even able to sleep longer in her stroller.
One of the main reasons we began putting her to naps in Ergo was because it was easier to put her back to sleep after she would wake up too early. But that’s also impossible now. I guess because she’s older and her sleep patterns have changed.
What I find confusing is that when we put her to sleep in the evening, she sleeps for 4-6 hours stretches. There’s no waking up after 30 minutes. How is that possible?!
I’ve tried to recreate the night atmosphere when she naps. Darken the room, white noise, sleep sack. I even tried turning on the night light. Nothing
I’ve hit the wall. I honestly have no idea how to help her. And it’s taken a toll on our family life too.
I’ve read on multiple sources that some babies start naturally sleeping longer after 6 months. But I’m not so sure that will happen in our case.
If you have any advice or sources you could point me to I’d be truly grateful. Thanks for listening anyway
blogger / pear / 1563 posts
@Melange: So sorry I’m just now answering you!
How old is your LO again? I think that’s really true about kids sleeping longer after 6 months. How well does she sleep at night? Have you tried a 70 or 75 minute wake time?
Did you make sure you stayed home at least 4 days straight to practice her nap times and be really sure you never let her end a nap at just 30 minutes? (So, having her cry in 5-10 minute increments for at least 30 minutes after each short nap)?
This sounds like a HARD situation! If her naps are continually just 30 minutes, you might have to shorten her wake time even more, because she may be over-tired?
Do you suspect and tummy issues? Is she totally happy and content when she’s awake and only fussy at naptime?
If I were you (and I would be losing my mind!) I would look into hiring a sleep consultant who would know much more than I can help you. Have you looked into that at all? Many people will say that 30-45 minutes are fine for awhile, but I’m grateful both of my kids ended up taking longer naps once we did a few days of nap training.
guest
My baby is 5.5 months old now.
I don’t suspect any tummy issues. We didn’t even have problems with colic. She’s gaining weight normally, doesn’t show any discomfort when and after eating. And I don’t think teething would have an impact on her sleep this much and this long.
She’s been an awful napper since birth.
We’ve restored to using Ergo when she was 4 weeks old because that was the only way she would nap for longer than 20 minutes. That and the stroller.
It’s more than obvious that she is chronically overtired.
But I don’t know what to do about it. If she crap naps because she is overtired and she is overtired because she crap naps…
As for her night sleep, it varies. She has nights with only 2 wakings when she eats and goes to sleep right after. She has nights when she wakes up for three times before midnight. Her bedtime is at 19:30.
I’m looking into talking to a sleep consultant as well as reading multiple blogs and science articles. Oh, and praying for a miracle after she turns 6 months haha
guest
Hi Mrs Piñata,
My 3 month old is fairly easy to put down for naps (after putting the binkie back in a couple of times) but almost always wakes up after 40-45 minutes. He sleeps in his crib, is swaddled and has a binkie. Usually after 60-70 minutes he starts yawning so I swaddle him, give him his binkie, sit in the rocking chair while telling him a start and then lay him down. He’s drowsy when I lay him down but not asleep.
I read your post but I’m wondering about the checks after he wakes up. You said you never let your daughter cry for more than 10 minutes after an early wake up so if he wakes up at 45 and cries for 10 minutes should I go get him and consider him awake? Should I go in after 10 and give him his binkie? I guess I’m just trying to figure out how to stretch it for longer than 45 minutes before I go back to work in 2 1/2 weeks.
Thanks in advance!
blogger / pear / 1563 posts
@Natalie: Sorry it took me a few days to see this! So, what we did after 10 minutes of crying was go back in and soothe her by giving her her pacifier and patting her and telling her everything was ok, and then we would let her cry for 10 more minutes before going in again. Once the total time of her in her crib was an hour and 15 minutes I decided she wouldn’t go back to sleep and decided nap was over. It worked well for her personally, but I know some kids just only nap for 45 minutes seemingly forever! And I imagine he would be fine at daycare to nap for just 45 minutes at a time because I’m sure that’s what other kids will do in his room and it would probably be hard to sleep longer than that anyway with so many kids in the room. But, it did help us a lot to get longer stretches of sleep during the day when we had her cry it out some, as much as it totally broke my heart!
guest
Hi there! I know this comment is way later then your original post so I hope you still see it. My son goes down excellent for naps but almost always wakes up at 35 minutes and will rarely put himself back to sleep despite me always putting him down awake and he frequently wakes at 11pm and 6am, cries for a few minutes and puts himself back to sleep. Why did you only do max 10 minutes for early nap wakes? I should add he is three months and has always been very healthy and is already 16 pounds! Any advice? Thank you! And great site!
guest
Hi Mrs. Pinata — Thank you for this inspirational post! I found myself in a similar situation as you, with my 4mo daughter who suffered from bad reflux and colic… I have been wearing her for all of her daytime naps, and until recently had been holding her at night too. I’m so glad I came across this old post, as it gave me the encouragement I needed to start nap training my daughter today and she did amazing! I know there will always be regressions (I still have to sleep-train my 3yo daughter from time to time) — but in just one day we are already in a much better place. Thank you so much! All the best to you and your Sweet P.
guest
Dorothy, if you read this, can you please tell me how things went for you after the first night? We are in a similar situation, our baby needs to be held for all naps and it is very physically difficult because he is a big baby and emotionally we are completely at the end of our rope. My husband thinks that sleep training is only to get babies that already sleep in their crib, to simply fall asleep on their own, but I disagree and your comment is one of the only examples I see that shows that. Could you please write of your experience (or anyone else who used sleep training to get baby to sleep in their crib versus arms). so we have an idea of how it can go in that type of situation. Thanks so much!
blogger / pear / 1563 posts
@Liz- how old is your baby?
guest
Hello!
Thank you for this post! It has been SO helpful in helping put my 4 month old down for a nap. I had a question. What would you recommend doing if my 4 month old wakes up from a nap after 30mins? How long would you recommend letting him cry/try to settle, before giving up?
guest
Hi great article. SO my life right now.
What time did she wake up every day?
blogger / pear / 1563 posts
@DRU: Poor thing and poor mama! That’s normal and frustrating! How long are baby’s wake times? With a 30 minute wake up I would be curious if the wake time is too short or too long and might need tweaking. But once you know it’s a good wake time, I would go in after 5 minutes, then after 10 minute increments until he goes back to sleep or you get to 75 minutes. But that 75 minutes isn’t a hard and fast rule after the first few days. If other naps are good I would get him up after 60 minutes, unless he’s calm and just not sleeping.
@Colleen Rugg: 7am!
guest
After reading your post, I have decided to do nap training with my son. He is turning months next week. He does pretty well night sleep. But only take 30min nap. I’ve let him sleep on my chest for few weeks but it needs to stop. He fell asleep by himself today and woke up after 30 min. Then, trying to self soothe by sucking but then he started crying a lot! .. Now nap #1 is ending soon and never went back to sleep. Do you think continuing the training will work?
blogger / pear / 1563 posts
@Kara- how old is your son? How many months?
guest
Thank you for posting this, it gave me the courage (and hope) to nap train my LO. My LO only napped for 30 mins since 5 weeks old unless I was pushing him in a stroller or napping with him.
We did the night training first at 4 months old (Ferber) and then nap training at 5 months old. I only used a 60 min window and no checks. It lasted 4 days pretty much like what you posted. To everyone reading… there is hope! Be consistent and good luck.
guest
Hello
So we are in day 2 of nap training. He had been self settling great for being first nap of the day and sometimes sleeping 2.5hrs but won’t nap for any other naps, be would just lie there quite happy but wide awake for like an hour! So I’ve decided enough is enough. My question is I am trying to stick to 3 times for naps each day, sticking to what you’ve said about giving it 75mins, my problem is he’s never gone back to sleep after waking at 45mins since we started and obviously is then super overtired by the next nap. For example I put him down for his 11.20am nap, he slept his usual 45mins after fussing and woke up at 12.10pm, I left him for a while but he did not return to sleep. I have put him down for his 2.20pm nap and he’s super overtired so has been moaning in his pram for the last 20mins. I have tried going by his sleep cues and he is impossible to read just like his sister was which is why I’m trying go by 90mins wake time and stick to the schedule. Even if he does a little tiny nap should I stick to the same times for each nap or go by waketime from when he woke up but then I feel like I’m back to square 1!
blogger / pear / 1563 posts
@Katherine Mitchell: Well, if the first nap is 2.5 hours long I’d say that 45 minutes the rest of the day is all he needs! I have always stuck to wake time over clock time for my kids though. I hope that helps! And how old?
guest
Hello,
Such helpful info. LO is 3 days shy of 4 months. Naps only 20mins. We are on day 2 of nap training. He is good at night. Wakes up only for feed twice.
Is not going too well. Yesterday and today he refused two consecutive naps. Had to do rescue naps in arms to stay within total wake time.
Question: did you do checks at nap time. Or no check for reassurance. My LO gets very upset after a check. So we have tried both with no success
blogger / pear / 1563 posts
@Shweta: Oh that’s rough. If you’re having total nap refusal I would suspect the wake time is either too short or too long. What are your current wake times?
guest
He did better after day 5. Plus pediatrician asked us to continue sleep training. He takes atleast 2 naps that are 1.5hrs. He still wakes up every 30mins and cries for 5-7mins and falls asleep again. Few days he did wake times 1.75-2hrs. So 3 naps. But last 2 days wake times have been 1.5hrs to the dot. With 4 naps. 4th nap is the crappiest one. I say we r still playing around a bit with wake times
blogger / pear / 1563 posts
@SHWETA: I have no idea how I missed your comment until today! It is SO NORMAL for the 4th nap to be totally crappy. The goal is just to keep baby from being over-tired before bed, so even a 15-30 minute nap is great! The 3rd nap will do that over time as well so that by 6-8 months you will just need 2.