Hellobee

I wholeheartedly agree with you. I could have written this post myself. You are definitely NOT alone and I thank you for this post.

ETA: I know a woman who went smaller than pre-preggo weight a mere few months after she gave birth and she always says things like how she can’t understand how women can’t lose their pregnancy weight in a “timely” manner.

I completely agree with you. I pin ideas, write lists and long for just a few more hours in every day, preferably with good light. Then when I actually am able to sew a little, bake something tasty, or rearrange some room in my house, I don’t have the time to take photos for blogging! And running? How on earth did I find an hour to run before baby Stroller hit the scene?

I’m not a mama yet, but I can kind of commiserate. I’ve pinned a lot of those beautiful things, knowing full well I will probably never make them. They’re just so pretty to look at! If I takes all the ideas I’ve pinned for the nursery, I’d need to build a new house!

On another note, that onesie is totally awesome.

Baby Y is soooooooo adorable!

Maybe I’m in the minority but I don’t care about those beautiful things. I am already busy enough 24/7 with my DD, a full time job, taking care of the house, my marriage, maintaining my friendships etc.

For those people who post up beautiful things on the Internet, are they really great moms, or do they try to make the world believe that they are?

I know that I am a great mom and I don’t need to put anything up on the Internet or make other people feel bad to make myself feel good!

Also not even a mom yet, but I feel you. It reminds me of wedding envy when I just couldn’t understand how everyone else seemed to have the time/energy/endless budget that I somehow lacked.

That said, it sounds like you have the important things covered. I am reminded of how my own mom just has all my childhood photos stored in a cardboard box – like, not a fancy photo box thing or an album… a cardboard box in the closet! And yet, she was/is an amazing mother and will be an equally great grandmother. She was just, you know, busy raising three kids!

Seriously, I feel this way and I’m not even a Mom yet. I see all of these gorgeous nurseries and think, wellp, my nursery will never look that way. I painted one wall and am super happy with it.

I’ve decided that there is a very small portion of the community who are a. bloggers and b. people who are creative and crafty and show it off to the world. Unfortunately, it seems like that’s EVERYONE since it’s all we see on the internet. I try to take some perspective from my in-real-life friends and see how ‘normal’ they are compared to things I see on the internet. That helps me come down a bit from the crazy.

Regarding the month photos with Baby Y – I tried to do weekly bump photos…that lasted until week 13. I think I have some cell phone pictures from a few weeks after that. We’re not bad parents/people, we just care to put our time and energy into other things, things that mean something to us, versus trying to keep up with the Joneses.

@Andrea: Your third paragraph. My husband and I have discussed this in the past and feel the same way.

@mediagirl: and people only show the good right? who is going to blog photos of their dirty dishes or ring around the bath tub?

Word! I’m glad I’m not the only mom with a smartphone full of pictures, but no artfully done professional photos.

Also, that is a rad onesie! Where did it come from??

@Andrea: omg. Maybe I should write a blog post just filled with things like my bathtub ring (it’s epic right now) and dirty dishes and laundry. The dark side of motherhood… or, really, not so dark, just real!!

I love the onesie as well!!!!!!

I definitely feel this way and I’m not even pregnant yet. I see the amazing DIY home improvement projects and the beautiful dinners and feel like I’m failing as a wife. I mean, I barely have time to come home from work and throw some chicken in the oven. Thank goodness my husband likes chicken and steamed veggies!! On Sunday night it is so easy to feel like I didn’t get enough accomplished over the weekend because I haven’t refinished a piece of furniture or remodeled my bathroom.

We all get to decide what our priorities are and I choose to spend time with my husband and our friends. I agree with @Andrea and @mediagirl, no one is going to blog about the piles of laundry in their house or the dishes in the sink.

EDIT: I love that onesie!!

@mrs. wagon: haha. the dark side. yes, do it! that goes along with the star wars theme from above. hehehe.

i completely understand your perspective because i often feel like that at times, and seriously wonder how all the online supermoms do it! i think maybe being in the blogging industry though and being exposed to “inspiration” all day long, i’m more desensitized to it. (and i’ll never get around to making that rainbow cake either!)

but on the other hand…. i understand @Andrea’s perspective as well. i’d rather focus on work than have enough time to do all those beautiful projects. at least for now! i still secretly aspire to be martha!

It helps me a lot to think back to what I remember and love from my childhood, and how things like a home-baked vs. store bought birthday cake or a perfectly decorated nursery wouldn’t even enter my top 100 list of things that made my childhood great. I mostly remember times my parents were around, family jokes, how my dad would take us to his office and we could photocopy our faces, how I wished they remembered more quirks about me, etc. It’s the interpersonal relationships that matter so much more than making or having perfect stuff.

I feel this way all the time! My house is always a cluttered mess, DS has eaten the same basic pasta dish every night this week (and last week), and I haven’t even taken my camera out this week!

But DH and DS are happy and healthy and we have families who love us. It’s hard for me to let go of things I’ll never manage to be able to do. I even wrote a short piece, titled The Mom I Am, about accepting my reality and the fact that I’ll never be a great cook or baker, my home will never be clean and organized for more than a few days at a time, and I haven’t got a crafty bone in my body. And you know what? It’s okay! Being crafty, a good cleaner, a good cook, or a good decorator does NOT equate to being a good person, a good wife or a good mother.

Thank you for this post! So happy to hear I am not the only one who sees something adorable and then feels like an instant mom failure.

This is such a great post! I feel this way all the time – there are just so many cute ideas out there!

I came across this article not so long ago and I think it compliments your post perfectly, and reminds me that I am not a failure.
http://powerofmoms.com/2012/04/your-children-want-you/

Although, when our LO started swimming classes this past weekend, and I was in a maternity bathing suit (9 months post pregnancy), and other mommas were in their bikinis- I felt pretty blah about myself. Then I looked at how much fun LO was having and I was like who cares if I am in a potato sack?

Great post – and fun to read! You kind of want hate those supermoms that can do everything and look good doing it. It’s not real though. They are just sharing their “pretty” side. I’m sure their closets are messy and there’s piles of laundry that need to be folded and put away on their bed (plus they probably have a cleaning lady).

Great post Mrs. YY!

I feel the same way, but I’m also a masochist and sweat the details, not to prove anything or to show off, but because they matter to me. I’ve always been that way about everything and it’s taken motherhood to put me in line because as a working mom, I can barely get out of the door in the morning with a shower (I often shower at work), so I know the feeling of pining for a beautiful image on the internet.

But when I can, instead of relaxing, I’ll go that extra mile because it makes me happy… like going nuts over LM’s 1st birthday with making homemade hats and various decorations, because the handmade aspect of it brings me joy (and also makes for great pictures!) I splurge on things like pro-photos for big events and Christmas cards because so many people in our family get happiness out of it.

So I guess it’s definitely a fine line of wants vs. needs, but sometimes it can be both!

I love this post. It so needed to be said. Good for you, yo (yo).

Darn – I’m jealous of Mrs. Yoyo for writing such a well written and insightful post despite being a busy mom!! My blog posts tend to be half thought out ideas and iphone snapshots… I’m still doing the monthly baby photo though so haha – I guess we all have our strengths and weaknesses

Such a great post. And it makes me feel not so bad that our hallway never finished getting painted (from two years ago) and that 9 out of 10 pictures frames in my house have never been filled… but, hey, all four of us got bathed, dressed, and fed today, so I think it’s a success!

I’ve always felt this way even from my weddingbee days! I’ve never been a DIY / crafty blogger… I have def delved more into pinterest, but have decided to take it as works of art for me to admire rather than get down on myself about why I can’t do those things. I’ve accepted the fact that I will never be one of those women!

that photo of baby yo-yo is ADORBS!

I love doing fun projects, but every time I spend a nap time sewing or making a cool cake, my housework suffers and we probably get frozen pizza for supper. People wonder how I get things accomplished but it’s always priorities. Those bloggers are only showing you the pretty side, not how their toddler wore their pajamas all day because no one felt like leaving the house.

Love this post – so well written.

@Rubies: I hope I never meet this woman. Ever.

@Andrea: You do have to wonder if some of the more insane blogs are some sort of facade … or at least very carefully edited!

@meredithNYC: my childhood photos are in a cardboard box too, haha.

@mediagirl: I never even attempted bump photos! But I’m rather camera shy in general.

@pointybird: Wish I knew – it was a gift!

@mrs. wagon: @Andrea: @mediagirl: Have you seen the blog Crappy Pictures? A more realistic portrait of motherhood

@Mrs. Bee: I bet it takes a lot to wow you with everything you’ve seen online!

@Pipers Mommy: Thank you for that link! Oh, and I am totally going to need to buy a new (larger) swimsuit soon. Sigh.

@Mrs. Bicycle: Having a cleaning lady is one of my goals in life!

@Mrs. Marbles: Agree that sometimes you can have your (rainbow) cake and eat it too — and it’s good to see you on here

@Honeybee: I guess that goes to show you that everyone does have their “thing” — I love to decorate, so that probably make me crazy. However, I haven’t had to do a significant amount of it post-kid yet. We’re moving soon, so we’ll see!

@mrsjyw: I occasionally felt that way on WB too … but I was ultimately really happy with how “us” our wedding was.

@Hanasu: Frozen pizza is a perfectly legit meal in this house, projects or no

@Rubies: I have a friend who was pre pregnant weight and in her cut off shorts ONE WEEK after giving birth. But her LO is 6 months old now and in newborn clothes and weighs 12 pounds. My LO is 9 months and in 18 month clothes, always in the 90-95th percentile in weight.

I think I’m striking a good balance between making all of those amazing pinterest things and being a mommy. Usually I only pin things that I know are doable for me, and even then I’ll find some sort of cheat. Example: there are some cute sugar cookie things out there, like stamping them. So I’ll buy premade cookie dough- they’ll still be pretty and impressive!

@artbee: That’s an excellent idea for a website: Pinterest Cheats!

@Mrs. Yoyo: Yes! And pinterest fails. I’ve wasted a lot of food trying things that just aren’t yummy.

Really good post. People usually just show their good side, not the mountain of ironing in the corner!

On a side note, that rainbow cake, and it’s little sister the ombre cake, has been taunting me. LO’s 1st birthday is coming up and I think I am going to give it a crack but just 3 layers in chocolate. Wish me luck!

Haha, I made the rainbow cake! I could have gone super simple and used a mix, but I did it from scratch and had to make three batches…let’s just say we won’t be having that again anytime soon! Use disposable cake pans, and make sure you have a recipe that yields as many cups of batter as colors you plan to make.

As for the overload of good ideas and not enough time, it’s one of the main reasons I stay away from Pinterest.

@Mrs. Yoyo: I was expecting to see photos of dirty dishes! But those badly drawn stick figure illustrations of bratty kids are pretty funny. Thanks for sharing!

Thank you for reminding me I’m not the only one who lets the baby chew on dirty toys or can’t keep up with other moms who look so perfect!

Love this post!