Hellobee

June – July 2007

We decided to take a couple of months off from trying to allow my body to recover from the miscarriage, but getting pregnant was definitely on my mind.  Often the only thing that helps you forget and move on from a miscarriage is to get pregnant again.  After two uneventful cycles that were around 30 days each post-miscarriage, I purchased a ClearBlue Easy Fertility Monitor so we could start trying again.  I’d recommended this product to a friend who had been trying to get pregnant for 6 months, and she got pregnant the first month she used the monitor.  Though Mr. Bee wanted to take the casual not preventing approach we did the first time around, how could I not be obsessed?  I was a woman on a mission… a mission to get pregnant!

August – October 2007 – ClearBlue Easy Fertility Monitor

I faithfully peed on the test sticks every day starting on the fifth day of my cycle to determine which days I was most fertile.  Though the monitor indicated some high fertility days, it never indicated my peak fertility days, which were the days I most likely ovulated.  On day 50 with no period in sight, I went to see my ob who prescribed a pill to induce my period, and I got my period a couple days later on cycle day 53.

The second month of using the fertility monitor showed similar results — high fertility days but no ovulation once again, so I contacted my ob to let her know that I wasn’t ovulating regularly.  Maybe my cycle would have returned back to normal on its own, but I wasn’t ovulating regularly and I didn’t want to waste time trying if I couldn’t even get pregnant at all because I wasn’t ovulating.

November 21, 2007 – Clomid

My ob referred me to a reproductive endocrinologist who I saw on day 41 of my cycle.  They did an ultrasound and bloodwork and found that I did ovulate that month, and I eventually got my period on day 45.  My RE said that I could wait to see if my cycle got back on track by itself, or I could give Clomid a try.  Clomid is a fertility drug in pill form that stimulates ovulation, and is often the first line of fertility treatment. If I were a more patient person I might have waited, but almost 9 months had gone by since we first started trying.  And the problem with having a long cycle can mean the lining of the uterus is too old for implantation, the egg is considered not as good as when ovulation happens earlier, and when ovulation happens late you ovulate less often over time, further decreasing your chances of conceiving.

So I decided to move forward with the Clomid.  On November 21, 2007, the 3rd day of my cycle, I started taking 50mg of clomid for 5 days.

November 30th, 2007 – hcG shot

On day 12 of my cycle, I got an ultrasound to see my follicle growth.  Your eggs have to be a certain size to be viable, and I had one egg that was large enough, which was a little disappointing.  That meant a 20-25% chance of getting pregnant – the same as any regularly ovulating woman.  Many women get multiple viable eggs, hence the increased chances of twins with Clomid.  After the ultrasound, I received an hcG shot to trigger ovulation within 36 hours — this way we would know exactly when we should… well you can use your imagination.  I started my 2 week wait — the period post ovulation until when you can take a home pregnancy test.  Alas on day 29, I started my period.  Every month you’re trying to conceive, you’re so hopeful that this will be the month.  Though I’d tried not to get my hopes up, seeing that BFN (big fat negative) was a big fat disappointment.

The following month we did a second round of clomid + hcG shot, but this time we decided to give an IUI (intrauterine insemination) a try.  Though Mr. Bee and I weren’t diagnosed with any fertility problems other than my irregular ovulation, an IUI would boost our chances of getting pregnant.  An IUI uses a catheter to put washed sperm (the best and strongest) directly into the uterus to increase the chance of fertilization.  Yes we were being a little aggressive, but it wasn’t overly costly and it wasn’t invasive so I thought why not.  On December 29, 2007, I got an IUI.

January 2008 – Big Fat Negative

On January 11, 2008, 12 days after the IUI, I got a big fat negative.  But it turns out that I had just tested too early because when I tested 5 days later, on the 31st day of my cycle, I got a BFP (Big Fat Positive)! Of course I took a second test just to be sure, and another glorious + appeared on the EPT home pregnancy test.  A blood test the following day confirmed that I was indeed pregnant.

January 25, 2008 – First Ultrasound @ 5 Weeks, 5 Days

At my first ultrasound, I had already fully prepared myself for the doctor to give us bad news.   I didn’t see anything initially… but then there it was – the gestational sac and yolk sac!  Still I made it further than this the last time around, so I didn’t let my guard down in the least.  It saddened me that I wasn’t able to experience this as a joyful event, but I had to protect myself.  I didn’t allow myself to be happy… to plan… to hope… even a little bit because if something did go wrong, I’d just be too devastated.

My first three blood tests revealed the following hcg and progesterone levels:

1/17: hcg – 401, progesterone – 39
1/19: hcg – 1040, progesterone – 37
1/25: hcg – 8462, progesterone –  30

Hcg is a pregnancy hormone that doubles every 48-72 hours through the first 8 weeks or so.  Progesterone is the hormone that helps maintain the pregnancy until birth.  Although there is a lot of variance in levels from woman to woman, both numbers should continue to increase.  While my hcg levels looked good, my progesterone dropped for three consecutive blood tests.  And I didn’t really feel any pregnancy symptoms yet, whereas I felt pretty strong pregnancy symptoms with my last pregnancy when I was just as far along.

Perhaps someone who hasn’t experienced a miscarriage wouldn’t understand, but I literally prayed and hoped for the worst possible morning sickness to hit me and last throughout the entire first trimester.  I’d read that approximately 2/3 of women experience morning sickness and those that do, are less likely to miscarry.   I know that some women have absolutely no morning sickness and go on to have perfectly happy babies.  But every lack of pregnancy symptom was a potential sign of miscarriage for me.

I was pregnant again, but my journey was far from over…

to be continued.