Hellobee

@mrsbee: how old was Charlie when you started anp training?

@miranlee – he was 4 1/2 months

Great guidelines :)

I also nap-trained and sleep-trained at the same time (at age 4 months). I tried to make my routine as short and simple as possible so that other people (dad, grandparents, etc) can easily duplicate it when they babysit — Make the room dark, rock her in my arms while singing “Rockabye Baby”, then place her in the crib and say “Go to sleep, baby-girl”. Same routine for nighttime sleep except preceded by a bath.

Nap training was definitely tougher than sleep training for us ’cause the book I referred to said to scrap the nap if she cried more than 30 minutes. I’ve got a pretty stubborn little girl with a healthy set of lungs so I had to scrap naps a few times. The books, however, didn’t address how to deal with an over-tired cranky infant ’til her next nap. We survived but it was not fun. I’d love to hear how others handled the scrapped nap so I can be ready for future attempts.

She was fully sleep trained by day 4. Unfortunately, on day five, I took her to a function with kids and she caught a cold, which completely derailed the training. I couldn’t bear to let her cry it out while sick so I reverted to my old methods. We attempted training again four weeks later after she was completely well and when I had nothing major on my schedule to interrupt the training. Training was much longer (7 days) and even more difficult the second time around. It was like she knew what to expect from the training and was determined not to give in, lol.

If I had to do it again, I would definitely keep her away from large crowds for at least a week after the training to lessen the chances of her becoming ill and to give the training a chance to really take hold. Despite the fumble, sleep training still rocks!

Wow, sorry for the essay. Didn’t realize I had written so much, lol.

I’m not sure if we will nap/sleep train or not – it’s not something my husband & I have yet discussed. it is really helpful to have this information on hand, though, for when we do get ready to talk about it

Our Charlie is six weeks old, and has set her own schedule, unfortunately. Some days there’s absolutely nothing I can do to get her to fall asleep, sometimes she’s awake for 6-8 hours straight and happy as a clam! Which is kind of nice, since those nights are the ones when she sleeps in 5-7 hour chunks. No idea how she got this way, I just let her sleep when she’s sleepy or play when she’s alert. Then other days she’ll have a regular sleep/wake pattern and sleep in 2-3 hour chunks. I’m not sure yet if I’ll try and regulate her, or let her regulate herself. I’m a big believer in “body knows best”, so unless she gets super cranky or irritable I’ll probably let her set her own sleep/wake times

@Killer B – I think that is very normal behavior for a newborn. I basically parented the same way, for me the toughest time sleep-wise was between 4-6 months but it does get better (my son is 2 now). I just put a super long comment in the “Sleep Training, Part 1″ post!

My daughter is 7 weeks old and similar to Killer B’s Charlie. She would go 6-7 hour stretches during the day without sleeping. At first I was worried but since she was a happy baby and sleeping well at night I left her alone. However, this week she started showing classic signs of being over tired and its now affecting her night sleep. In the past 4 days I’ve tried to read every sleep book i could get my hands on, but like Mrs Bee said, there aren’t too many books on how to get your child to nap. I’ve tried the no-cry method with no success and today resorted to the cry out method, something I said i would never do :(. after today I decided she’s way too young for that. any pearls of wisdom would be greatly appreciated.

@Tlee – When my son was really young, he had very subtle tired cues. If I missed them, it was a lot harder to get him to nap. One book that I read that was helpful was the “90-minute Sleep Solution” – no need to buy the book, as the basic premise is that babies are on a 90-minute cycle, so just before the 90-minute mark, do your nap time routine. If you miss that window, then try again at 3 hours, or 4.5 hours, etc. Make the room dark, do your routine, turn on white noise (the best $0.99 I ever spent at iTunes) or a lullaby as your cue sound, etc.

If I recall correctly, up until 4 months my son’s tired window for his first nap was 45 minutes (half of the 90-minute cycle!) after he woke up. Most baby books say to not let your child be awake for 1-2 hours, but I’d missed the signs since it was so soon after he woke up. Try looking for sleepy signs then. Sometimes the signs are so subtle they are easy to miss. And then, as soon as you get good at reading the signs and figuring out their patterns, they go a change their pattern as they enter a new developmental stage! ;)

The other thing that worked for me was that my son fell asleep very easily while being held, and since I work from home, the easiest and happiest solution for us was for me to wear him in a baby carrier (I loved The Portable Baby woven wrap) while he napped. Even though I broke all the “rules” on sleep training he naps fine now at 2 and doesn’t need to be held to fall asleep. There are many paths, try several and see what works for you and your daughter!

I follow our night routines and LO is excellent at Night. Bath/ Book/ Nurse and put down drowsy and will roll over and sleep.

For naps, I have no idea how to handle. Once I lay down, LO immediately rolls over and stands up! I know LO is tired! Then the crying begins… and can’t do it, when it goes over 20mins.

I will then scrap the nap and try again later but then get sucker in and nurse to sleep in our bed. I know I should be consistent, but it is tough.

It took LO 1 day to sleep train — cried for 52mins. Day 2 was 2mins and Day 3 was 1min.

Suggestions? LO was slept trained at 8 months and now 8.5m.

@EmmeBaby: the only thing i can tell you is to be consistent. it took charlie weeks…. maybe a month before he was going down for every single nap without crying. i also didn’t let him cry more than 20 minutes, but i was consistent. it was much harder for our nanny actually.

i know it’s tough, but charlie has been a truly excellent napper post nap training. we pretty much have to wake up him from every nap because he can almost always sleep 3-4 hours+ if we let him.

stay strong and i promise it will be worth it!

Hello. I have 12 week old that is having trouble napping, but sleeps well during the night. I’ve been trying to set her on a set schedule but it has been tough, I need to be more consistent. Thanks for your tips and experience, will have to try your method. Do you think it’s too early to start letting her cry it out? My intent was to start sleep training at 6 mths, if need be. Thanks.

@babyaudrey – here’s an article from Psychology Today against CIO – http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/moral-landscapes/201112/dangers-crying-it-out

Having given you that, I like this blogger’s advice: http://www.askmoxie.org/2011/05/infant-sleep.html
I recommend listening to yourself and your child. Does she show signs of overtiredness? Is there a way you can both get sleep that works for you both? (e.g., my son would sleep contentedly in my wrap baby carrier and I could get lots of work done online; at night I started brushing my teeth as part of his bedtime routine so that if he took a long time to fall asleep and I feel asleep with him, at least I knew I had done MY bedtime routine, etc.) There’s a difference between CIO and a child that needs to release tension before bed – I know that CIO would have never worked well on my child, but you need to trust your instincts/inner voice.

@babyaudrey – there is no generally agreed upon age when you can start nap training. most pediatricians i’ve spoken to feel that 3 months is ok. but my daughter is almost 4 months old, and i don’t have the heart to nap train her!

like mrsnarbonne mentioned, you can try putting her on a schedule first — that may improve her sleep. also check out this recent post i wrote on things you can do to improve your baby’s sleep:

http://www.hellobee.com/2012/01/18/2-tips-to-help-your-baby-sleep-better/

even though i’m doing everything “right”, my daughter’s sleep is still getting worse as she gets older and more aware. some children are good sleepers, some get better as they get older, and some need our help. i hope your lo is in the middle category!

Hi, I know you posted this a while ago, but I am also nap training my 3 month old and wanted to know what did you do if your baby takes a short nap (less than 1 hour). Did you end the nap or keep trying for about 30 mins and end the nap if he couldn’t fall back asleep.

@sandra – you can do either. i never tried to lengthen naps because they instantly became longer when we started nap training. but i know that some people try to nap lengthen by leaving babies in the crib until 1 hour is up, and sometimes they fall back asleep.

once your lo is used to putting themselves to sleep, their naps should naturally lengthen because they won’t wake up after 1 sleep cycle.

Thanks Mrs. Bee, my LO is slowly taking longer naps. Since he can only stay awake for about 1.5 hours each interval, I’m finding it difficult to take him out without interfering with his naps. Did you go out with Charlie much after nap training? If so, how did you do it?

@sandra – if you register, you’ll get an email whenever i respond to one of your comments.

after nap training we stayed home for at least a month. it sucks, but they have really have everything down. after that he’d fall asleep in the stroller and was still able to sleep well in his crib.

My son is 4 months. Sleeps great at night but his days are terrible. We started sleep training in the last day and he has done pretty good with it. My question, this morning he woke up around 7:15. At 8:55 was sleepy so I put him down for a nap, he cried for 8 mins and I went to turn him to his back once. He feel asleep for 45 mins. Then he woke up with a very full diaper. I changed it but then before I knew it he was falling sleep in my arms. So I put him down in a infant vibrating seat. When I put him down he woke up but then went right to sleep. Should I have out him back in his crib and let him cry it out more? I felt I should change his diaper!

@natalie – no you could have ended the nap after 45 minutes. it wouldn’t have been fair to let him cry it out after he slept one sleep cycle and then you changed his diaper. at that age though, i wouldn’t change a diaper. would he have gone back to sleep if you didn’t change his diaper?

@mrs.bee I’m not sure if he would have went back to sleep…. But he did sleep another 50 mins in the chair so he was still very tired and I knew that… I didn’t want to try I keep him awake. This afternoon we put him down for a nap at 12:30, he cried for a full hour and when we picked him up he feel asleep in our arms. I’m just not sure what to do when that happens. He is so tired from crying of course he wants to sleep so besides trying again later for his next nap I’m not sure how to avoid him falling asleep in our arms. I know he can fall asleep on his own!

What about waking between sleep cycles during naps? We have a 6 month old girl who has no napped well in 3 months. She fusses when she goes down but puts herself to sleep just fine. But, like clockwork, 30-45 minutes later she pops back up and is ready to be done when we know she is still tired. We have to go in and pat her back to sleep if we want a longer nap. If we leave her to cry she does not stop and then is up for sure. Any advice on how to get her to put herself back to sleep after those sleep cycles? At night she sleeps ok with only one wake up but the no naps are affecting her night time sleep too with a crazy early wake up for the day time of 4:45am today (when she went to bed at 7). Any help would be appreciated, thanks!

@mrs.bee – My 7 MO went through sleep training last week (CIO without checks). It went great. First night cried for about 25 minutes, night two about 12, night three less than 5. She now is an expert night sleeper each night sleeping 11 – 12 hours straight. Now we’re moving onto naps. She shows tired signs after 2 hours. I’ve started to follow a same routine each time (3 times a day) of dimmed room, noise machine, sleep sack, nursing and putting her into the crib drowsy but awake. She immediately starts to cry and it takes her about 20 minutes each time to fall asleep, and usually wakes after 30 minutes. I almost buckled yesterday and put her down asleep, but I can’t even pull that off anymore! Am I doing something wrong?

@allison — can you do an earlier bedtime than 7? you might be surprised that going down even an hour earlier can make a big difference. if she is taking short naps in the day, 7 might be too late of a bedtime for her.

many babies naturally start napping longer as they get older. i know that some people have had success nap lengthening after one sleep cycle using the shush/pat method, but i never tried that since both my kids slept beyond one sleep cycle. if that is working for you, you can continue it, or maybe wait a little bit longer and see if her naps lengthen on their own. olive’s sleep improved when she was 8 months old (7 months adjusted).

@erin – i would not nurse her before her nap. my little one would get mad too if i nursed her before her nap and then put her in her crib… understandable since they’re all nice and snuggly! an eat, play sleep schedule is best when you are nap training so they don’t associate nursing as part of the sleep routine. can you nurse after waking up, or at least not as part of the nap routine?

@ mrs. bee – I can certainly try dropping the nursing before the nap! That will help with my husband putting her down for a snooze too. I’ll start that pronto. Do you suggest putting her down drowsy or just awake? Not sure how I’d get her drowsy without nursing. Also, will sleep times eventually lengthen on their own? I’m hopeful we can get to a 2 nap/day schedule soon, but with such short naps it seems impossible. Lastly, how long does nap training usually take?

@erin – i always put both kids down awake. our nap routine was put on sleep sack, dim lights, read 3 books, shut off light, turn on white noise, hold over shoulder while patting back and singing twinkle little star, then into crib with lovey. the whole routine took 5-10 minutes.

sleep times usually lengthen on their own if they are going into the crib awake. with short naps, a 2 nap schedule is hard.

as far as how long it takes, it is different for every baby. charlie it took weeks though he went down for most of his naps without a fuss, he still had problems here and there. but after nap training his sleep was pretty perfect until 1 year (travel, sickness, walking, teething molars, affected it). olive it took a couple days. average is 7-10 days from most parents i’ve spoken to if you stick to it.

good luck!

thanks, mrs. bee! this is very helpful. i’m a FTM, so this is all a mystery to me. my LO Is a very mild-mannered and easy baby, with sleeping being our toughest challenge. i’m so hopeful that we can take the frustration out of the process and she’s well rested. i’ll try a new naptime routine and keep putting her down after 2 – 2.5 hours of wake time. hopefully she starts falling asleep more easily. just seems like torture for her to cry for 15 minutes or so for a measly 30 minute nap!

We are going to try nap and bed time training tomorrow, I think when I tried it last time he was a little too young. Our doc said it was fine to start now. My question is… If I put him down for a nap at noon and he just cries for upwards of a hour (which he has done before) when do I pick him up? If its after hour or two should I just try to keep him awake after picking him up? He has put himself to sleep several times in the morning but never in the afternoon… He has always fallen asleep in our arms.

@Natalie – I mean this in the nicest way possible – you are your little one’s mommy. Listen to what your gut tells you – you will find a path that is right for your child, you, and your family. There are many paths to an end.

@natalie – you can leave them to cry for up to an hour then stop the nap, keep them up for an hour, and try to put them down again.

but i could never let charlie cry that long. i capped it at 20 minutes and got him and then stroller napped him. that worked for us and he still became an excellent (truly, truly excellent) napper.

but what works for every baby is different. some parents cap crying at 15 minutes, 10 minutes, etc. You have to do what feels right to you and how your baby responds. Adjust here and there… sleep is always a work in progress.

Good luck!

I’ve started doing the nap training and it has made a big improvement in my LO (5.5 months old) being able to self soothe and put herself to sleep fairly quickly. Only problem is she still isn’t taking naps longer then 30-40 minutes. I’ve tried putting her down a little earlier to avoid being overtired and I tried keeping her awake time longer. Neither option seems to help with lengthening her naps and it has gotten really hard to read her sleep cues as the day goes on because she is always tired. Any idea what might be keeping her from lengthening her naps? I’ve thought about putting her on a more strict schedule but didn’t know if that would just cause more over tiredness as this point.

hi Mrs. Bee. I have a 5.5 month old baby who sleeps great at night. He goes down at 8pm and wakes up around 7am. He mostly puts himself to sleep, sometimes we just have to pat/shush.

He does fine for naps as well, sleeps 45 mins, sometimes even 2 hours, BUT we have to rock him to fall sleep, and I think it might become a problem since he is getting heavier each day.

Well, we started the nap training yesterday, and he complained for up 1.5 hour and then fell asleep, and slept for 2 hours. Today, he complained for 1 hour (we check on him every 5 mins), but then he stopped complaining and started the really crying, so we felt bad and went in, pat/shush so he fell sleep and is now sleeping for 1.5 minutes already.

Is that ok letting him for 1.5 hour before falls sleep? I’m worried it gets to close to his next meal time. Do you think doing the nap training might interfer on his night time, which is going so well? Am I doing anything wrong at nap training?

Thank you in advance for any piece of advice.

Can I just say, THANK YOU for this in-depth explanation on nap training. I’ve been looking all over for a more concise look at how to nap train, and I am so grateful I found this. Breaking-down each day to show how your son responded was also incredibly helpful. Thank you for sharing!

@marie – you’re welcome! glad that it was helpful!

@lbo1212: you can give her a little bit of time. notoriously short nappers often improve on their own after they’re 6 months old. some people have luck shushing and patting their babies back down after one sleep cycle, but we never tried that so I don’t have any personal experience to share.

@mitsue: i once read that if it takes your baby longer than 30 minutes to fall asleep, they’re either overtired or not tired enough. but given that you’ve rocked your baby to sleep until this point, that might not be relevant since he’s used to going into his crib asleep.

leaving him in his crib for over an hour is a really long time. what is is schedule like now? do you have a strong nap routine?

Hi there,

First of all, I am happy to have found your website as I find many useful advice and comments.

As the article points out, my 3 month old daughter wakes up after 30-45mn and may sometimes reach to 1h. She’s doing great at night with one feed between 7pm and 7am and I have had her on a routine for 3 weeks. She first cried for 20min at nap time before finding sleep and now cries less than 5min, so I am very proud of her. Still her naps are short and she wakes up screaming.
Today I was driving and made an interesting observation. I started driving around nap time (she stays 2 hrs awake) and she fell asleep immediatly. 45min later I happened to stop by to buy some bread. She screamed for 2s and then nothing continued sleeping for another few minutes. Then again her face turned red and she started screaming (I could see her in the car seat). That lasted 1min and she even opened her eyes. As I went on driving she fell back sleeping. It’s completely disturbing for mummy to see her screaming out of the blue but it showed me exactly what was happening in her crib during naps. Any suggestions on how to tackle her naps? Thanks!

@marianne – at 3 months 2 hours awake time is too long. i would first try a shorter awake interval — an hour and a half at the longest. your daughter is probably overtired when she goes down for a nap which affects her sleep.

I know this is an older post, but I was thrilled to find it! So true, the books don’t address nap training. My LO is 3.5 months. I’ve been holding him for naps since he was two weeks old (FTM here, can you tell?). He’s getting big and I’m physically exhausted from the swaying him to sleep so we started nap training. Today is day 3 and he has not cried once… fussed for up to 30 minutes but no tears! He’s definitely doing the short nap thing though…. I’m going to keep going and see what happens. But in the meantime he went from one night-waking to three (when he wants to be fed) plus one more waking, usually one hour after going down from a feeding. So frustrating to lose our awesome nights due to him being overtired from nap training. Any idea if this will all even out? It just seems terrible to take away his good nights in favor of short naps that leave him tired all day long.

Im at my wits end with naps! I need help! My son has been taking very short naps in his swing, and in a month he is going to daycare. He is currently almost 4 months old. I started nap training last week and have had ZERO luck! I tried two naps today and the second nap he cried for almost an hour and half and then it was time for him to eat and of course he fell asleep in my arms nursing, i then placed him in the swing. He has been sleeping for almost 2 hours now in the swing because he exhausted himself in the crib. I dont know what else to do! I feel like he will never learn how to soothe himself. Ive been very consistent, but have pretty much scrapped every nap in the crib due to him not falling asleep on his own after an hour. WHAT SHOULD I DO!? im so desperate!

My DD is 9 months, going on 10 and we have been trying to change/implement a nap routine. She’s been a 2nap a day girl since 6 months and used to let me rock her to sleep on my shoulder with lights dimmed, white noise and a paci. Then my nanny started using a rocker (rock and play sleeper) and she loved it! Except, now she won’t fall asleep on me, stands up in her crib if I try it and I really want to stop the rocker – she is getting too big. Any suggestions?

I should also mention, we have been trying to transition her slowly (1 nap in crib, 1 in rocker) for a couple of weeks now with mild success. Except, out of the blue she hit us with separation anxiety. (She’s been STTN since 8 weeks, sleeps 11 hours straight at night now, no waking.) We are doing CIO (2 days in… only 5 mins crying last night.) So… Question #2 is should I wait to nap train until the separation anxiety is over?

THANKS in advance!

Do you even still check this??? Very helpful! Just wondering how old Charlie was when you nap trained him? Thanks!