LJ in her favorite spot to take a bottle when she was about 6 months old.

Mediagirl asked what to do when your baby won’t take a bottle.  I have a lot of experience on this subject!  When Little Jacks was a baby, we made a strong commitment to breastfeeding.  I had been told prior to her birth that I’d need to go back on a medication for an auto-immune disorder 6 weeks after she was born.  We determined to make the most of those 6 weeks. However, just around that time, I visited my specialist and she said that there was new data saying that breastfeeding would actually be protective for me, and that I didn’t need to quit.  Well, you can imagine that in those first 6 weeks, I didn’t EVER offer LJ a bottle because our feeding time together seemed so precious and short.

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The net result, though, was a child who completely refused the bottle, no matter what!  This was made more complicated by the fact that I still had a few ER shifts left to complete when she was 2 months old, and that I’d be going back to work full time when she turned 4 months of age.  We had to get this kid to take a bottle, and quick!

So what do you do if your little one is refusing the bottle.  First, don’t panic… well, it’s impossible not to, but try not to!  Second, triage the issue.  Did he or she take a bottle before but is now on strike or has never taken one before?  Does he or she take one for other care providers, but not for you?  Are there certain times of day you can get it to work?  The answers to these questions can help you tailor your approach to the problem.

LJ wouldn’t take the bottle for anyone, at any time of the day, in any place, ever… so we knew we needed to start with the basics.  First we tried different bottles.  In our infinite wisdom, we bought a pack of 1) Dr. Brown’s bottles before LJ was born.  It was absolutely clear that she hated them.  What a waste!  Then we went through 2) Medela and 3) Avent.  Finally, we decided to go with a more anatomical bottle type.  We tried 4) Tommee Tippee  and 5) MAM.  MAM had the one nipple she spit out less quickly than the others, so we quickly honed in on working with MAM bottles.  We also made sure that LJ was seen by her pediatrician to rule out any physical problems such as thrush, reflux or allergies.  In our case, it turned out that LJ had a milk protein intolerance, which I addressed with an elimination diet (which I’m happy to write about at a later date)… but that didn’t help our bottle strike issue.

I was troubleshooting the issue with Anne Keppler, co-author of Pregnancy, Childbirth and the Newborn and facilitator of my First Weeks baby class.  She first asked if we had checked for lipase in the milk.  Less than 5% of women have an overabundance of this enzyme that acts to make the milk taste terrible to the baby. I unthawed some of my frozen milk to see if this was the issue.  Luckily, it was not.  She then suggested that we try a number of different techniques to see what would work best for our little one.  We made Mr. Jacks the primary bottle feeder, since when LJ smelled me she’d not only refuse, she would get angry.  We tried when she was very hungry as a nod to the old adage “When they are hungry enough, they’ll eat.”  Well, it turns out, that old adage wasn’t true in our case.  When she got really hungry, she got angry and she could strike for an entire day.  We didn’t want to torture her that way!  Then we tried feeding her drowsy in the hopes that she might not notice the bottle.  Wrong again!

Ann suggested that we try feeding outside where there are lots of distractions for a little one, and that was actually probably one of the most successful tips we received.  Often LJ would be distracted enough to take a few swallows before she noticed she was eating out of the dreaded bottle.  We also heated the milk up so that it was quite hot.  We submerged the frozen milk in not quite boiling water until it was piping hot.  LJ seemed to like the hot milk better than warm, and was more apt to take a couple of swallows.  We also found that she would take the bottle slightly better if we were bouncing on the yoga ball.  We tried a syringe, spoon and sippy cup all without success. We tried feeding while babywearing with variable success.

The time came for me to return to work when Little Jacks was four months of age, and we had still only been successful at getting an ounce or two in.  I was slated to be gone for up to 16 hours at a time.  We weren’t sure how we were going to pull it off.  Mr. Jacks intensified his concentration on every trick in the book.  On the first day of work, LJ took about one half ounce.  When I got home, she started breastfeeding and basically didn’t stop until morning.  This was the usual state of affairs in the early days, which was fine if I was only gone for 8-10 hours.  I had several long shifts early on, and we had to bring LJ in for an evening feed before bed so that she could make it through the night.  Poor Mr. Jacks was working his butt off between fighting her to drink and shuttling her to and from my work for a quick feed.

After a while, they settled in to a routine together capitalizing on the best of the suggestions we had received.  Here’s what worked best:

-Feed a calm but hungry baby.  Waiting too long was very bad, so Mr. Jacks had to find the sweet spot where LJ was a little hungry, but not overly so.
-MAM bottles
-Piping hot breast milk
-Sitting outside on the porch swing looking over the front yard and the street or bouncing on the yoga ball if the weather was bad.
-Persistence and patience
-When it’s not working, back off and take a break.
-Present solids at 6 months.  Mr. Jacks felt like he had more weapons in his arsenal when he had other interesting foods to offer LJ.
-Have a back up plan.  When Mr. Jacks absolutely had no other options, he’d page me and bring LJ into work for a quick top off.

I hope this helps someone not suffer the way we did.  If you have any other bottle strike tips, please share them below and help other mamas and papas out!

Hellobee Series: Mrs. Jacks part 6 of 12

1. Attachment Parenting: One strategy by Mrs. Jacks
2. School is now in session! by Mrs. Jacks
3. Babywearing 101: Inward or outward facing? by Mrs. Jacks
4. My baby's head is flat! What's the deal with plagiocephaly? by Mrs. Jacks
5. Responsible media viewing by Mrs. Jacks
6. What to do when your baby goes on bottle strike by Mrs. Jacks
7. Birth plans: the other side of the story by Mrs. Jacks
8. Beyond colic: milk/soy protein intolerance by Mrs. Jacks
9. Cracking the code on toddler tantrums by Mrs. Jacks
10. Talking with children about race by Mrs. Jacks
11. Toddler eating habits cause parental grey hair by Mrs. Jacks
12. A warm winter treat by Mrs. Jacks